I'm going to shoot my neighbor [View All]

[guitar man]

That's right,I'm going to go shoot his ass. I should be able to get away with it on grounds of "preemptive self defense." I just know he is going to attack my family or do something else horrible to us. The police say they need more evidence to do anything to him. They said if he comes over here to hurt us, I can shoot him, but I am not going to wait for that to happen.

I know he has a gun because my dad sold him one about 20 years ago. Daddy and him were friends back then, but then they had some kind of a beef,and he tried to kill my daddy! He says he got rid of the gun,but I know he didn't. He's a bad guy too. He beats his wife and kids all the time. That ought to be enough to justify shooting him by itself,shouldn't it?

So I've made up my mind, he's going down! What if the police don't find the gun? That's ok,I should still be able to get away with it. all I have to do is convince everybody he was a bad man that wanted to hurt us, everything will be ok.

(Shhh! I'm going to let you in on a secret. The REAL reason I am going to off his ass is he has a big stash of loot hidden in his attic. He really IS a bad guy,so nobody will be sad that he's gone,but I'm gonna make off with the loot while I'm at it!)






<disclaimer: The contents of this post are purely satire/sarcasm. I am NOT going to actually shoot my neighbor or anyone else in real life> :eyes: