Reply #249: I don't think she was technically out of control either... defiant, yes. [View All]

[Tigress DEM]

When someone in authority tells you to do something and you refuse to comply, "Stop that!" "Get off the table." You are defying their authority.

Out of control may have been where she was going and I do think the teacher was trying to respect the mother's wishes, but even with orders not to touch the child, there had to be an exception for if she was a danger to herself or others.

No one needs to allow someone to hit them. Even fake punches did warrant enough resistance to keep the adult from being hit, if only to reinforce, "No, I will not allow you to hurt me."

When she picked up the child the child may not have been out of control, but she was up high and could have fallen, removing her from a potentially dangerous situation trumped the "no touch" rule.

Still, in environments where people deal with behavior issues, it is imperitive to help a five year old understand their emotions. They are still learning to understand the world.

Telling her, "I see you are angry. Why are you angry?" Would have given the child an opportunity to talk about what was upsetting her instead of venting it on the bulletin board.

Some of you may have read this started with a little incident where the kids all had jelly beans for a counting project and this little girl got a silly about it and the teacher took away her jelly beans.

So in my mind I hear that little kid saying,"Because you took my jelly beans!" if asked "What are you so mad about?"

OK. Problem, the kid wants her jelly beans back, but she's stomping around. MY Solution, "If you want your jelly beans back you need to show me you can sit quietly for awhile..." As long as it takes me to clean up this mess you made of the bulletin board.

If you can't physically restrain a child you need to convince her/him to take a time out and step back from the problem by giving him/her a solution to focus on instead.

I think we are all better when we focus on solutions. And when we learn from our mistakes or others. A lot of us will be better prepared if such a situation confronts us.

Then again since most of us are probably involved in Block Clubs and neighborhood negotiations with difficult elements, we probably have better tools. I think that must have been a young teacher or inexperienced.

Either that or the school relies too heavily on corporal punishment which would lead to not developing the other skills needed in a case like this.