Pick your President [View All]

[Resistance Is Futile]

Given the following slate of candidates in 2004, who would you vote for:


1) God
Mass murdering egotist from the best selling work of fiction, the Bible.

2) Satan
The Prince of Darkness himself, or perhaps just misunderstood.

3) Adolph Hitler
Austrian with a funny moustache and an uncontrollable urge to take over the world and march people into gas chambers.

4) Josef Stalin
Former dictator of the Soviet Union. Worst mass murderer of all time in absolute numbers.

5) Pol Pot
Former dictator of Cambodia. Worst mass murderer of all time in terms of percentage of population killed.

6) Beneito Mussoleni
The original fascist. Accept no subsitutes.

7) Osama bin Laden
Anti western lunatic with a following of heavily armed madmen.

8) Bill Gates
The Prince of Darkness in human form.

9) Ann Coulter
Well known ranting elitist and lawyer.

10) Cuthulu
A multi-tentacled demon that eats people and is immune to bullets.

11) The Incumbant
A cheap, second-rate, halfwit knockoff of candidates 1-9.


Ladies and Gentlemen, cast your ballots.
Void in Florida or where Diebold voting machines are used.