Reply #18: Here's how it will play out [View All]

[gratuitous]

{Swami gratuitous goes into a trance, invoking the powers of the Infinite to bestow on him the ability to see into the Future. After some joker feeds "Reply hazy. Ask again later" messages to his subconscious, Swami gratuitous' eyes fly open}

I see . . . I see, I see headlines. Many headlines. I see George W. Bush scanning those headlines, his brow furrowed. He motions to National Security Advisor Condollleeeezzzzaaa (sp?) Rice, who looks over his shoulder and whispers that the "G" stands for "Grand."

I see Bush motioning for Attorney General John Ashcroft, who goosesteps over behind the presidemential desk, and informs George that the "O" stands for "Old." Finally, everyone in the Oval Office shouts that the "P" stands for "Party!" and one lone voice is heard to conclude "doofus." Lil George's brow clears.

Now, the picture is shifting, dissolving, changing. I see Robert Novak being asked who is source was, and declining to answer. I see Attorney General Ashcroft shrug and say, "Well, we tried." I see an email sent out to all White House staff. It is very short. The contents in their entirety read:

"Was it you? C'mon, tell us."

There are no responses. I see Crisco Johnny shrug his shoulders again, and then call a press conference. The $8,000 drapes have begun to sag, and the nipple on the breast o Lady Justice peeks out over the top of the drapes. Reporters mutter, "Well, at least Ashcroft won't be the only boob up there." Ashcroft says that he has conducted a thorough investigation, questioning everyone in the White House and has not been able to determine that there even was a leak, so it must not have happened after all.

Three CIA operatives are executed in Africa.

The press goes back to sleep, to dream of Clinton's penis.