Reply #7: it's a karma thing ... [View All]

[Lisa]

Sometimes you just have to shrug. Sure, there are people around who don't have much of a conscience (or can rationalize breaking promises even if they see themselves as highly moral). But you've done your bit to make this a nicer world.

It would be interesting if this situation provoked any conversation with his parents and friends. (If, for example, he mentioned it to a prospective girlfriend, she might end up learning quite a lot about him by what he eventually decided to do. So your good deed might have all kinds of unforseen ripple effects.)

I've used charities as "collection agencies" in the past, too. Recently there was a situation on eBay where someone refused to refund my payment after the purchased item still hadn't arrived after 3 months. I suspected that he was panicking because he had really needed the money and didn't think through the implications of selling the same thing to two different people! Anyway, the trouble of tracking down and prosecuting him (plus the fact it was starting to make me feel bitter) would just not be worthwhile ... so I told him that I would like him to give the money to the UNICEF tsunami fund, instead. I figured that at the very least, if he's a right-winger, the UN connection will bug him ... and he'd have to be a total dork to brag about skimping out on starving kids.