Just finished Franken's chapter "Operation Chickenhawk: Episode One" [View All]

[T Roosevelt]

OMG was that hilarious!

The below-deck cabin was tight and smelled like men at war. Journalist Specialist First Class Al Gore studied Lieutenant Kerry's strangely Semitic features. The strong jaw, the deep-set eyes, the prominent nose that spoke of the Mittel-European shtetl and the seemingly unending tragedy of the Jewish people.

...

That's great, that's great," Gore said, writing furiously. "Do you mind if I tell your crew what you said about their heroism?"

Kerry scowled, and picked a chip of paint off a rusting bulkhead. "Not this crew."

Something about Kerry's tone of voice aroused Gore's reporter's instincts. "So this is a new crew?"

"New?" Kerry scoffed. "That's a charitable way to describe them. Frankly, in my two tours, I've never seen a bigger bunch of pants-pissers."

more...


The crew:
Privates George "wakey-wakey" Bush, Dick "heart attack" Cheney, Clarence "porn freak" Thomas, John "Jesus Freak" Ashcroft, Bill "me me me" O'Reilly

The rest:
Privates Newt "perspiring rifleman" Gingrich, Phil "slack-jaw" Gramm, Mortimer "Rush" Limbaugh

Special guest star:
George "Stoner" Will