Reply #68: Blew up some guy's car once. Great fire. [View All]

[Nevernose]

This was the most violent, intentional thing I've done that I can think of right now. There are so many, though, and I had a troubled youth. And that youth lasted until I was thirty. :)

It was an old girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Guy thought it would be funny to loosen the lugnuts on my car. Yeah, it would have been really funny to have a wheel or two fall off while I was doing seventy on the freeway with my kid, my girlfriend, and her kid in the car. Fucking hilarious in fact. Fortunately one of the little neighborhood kids came up and warned me after he left (it pays to be nice to kids -- they can be your best friend or your worst enemy).

I started getting really angry as I tightened all the lugnuts back into place. I had a tire iron in my hands, a couple of friends who also had grudges against the guy, and pretty soon we were running over to his house with an aresnal of tire irons and baseball bats.

We smashed everything glass, dented everything metal, broke the windows of his house with rocks. One of the neighbors came over, an old man, and demanded to know what in the hell we thought we were doing. I calmly told him what he'd done, explaining that he'd put not only my life but the lives of children in jeopardy.

The old man said, "Don't worry, I believe you, so I won't call the cops. Guy's a jackass, and I'm sure he deserves it, but he still lives with his parents, so stop beraking their windows."

"Sorry, sir," I replied respectfully, while my friends were pouring the contents of a lawnmower's gas can on the upholstery.

Several other neighbors came out and watched as the fire burned, most of them muttering something to the effect of "That shitheel probably deserved it."

It was all very surreal, and as the sirens began to wail in the distance, we walked. In fact, that may have been the only time in my life I intentionally sauntered.