Reply #2: i've dealt with it many times and here's the real deal [View All]

[pitohui]

once the "friend" asks to borrow money, the friendship is already over -- once you accept that your FORMER friend is willing to risk throwing away what you have to get his hands on your money, then you understand what you have to do

if you say "yes," chances are extremely high that you will never see the "friend" or the money again, i've only been repaid once and even in that case, the friendship is damaged beyond repair because my former friend was too embarrassed to see me for all the years he couldn't afford to repay, after so many years, the friendship is broken and can't be fixed altho he recently sent me a check

no one else has ever repaid a loan, think logically, if they had the ability to repay the loan, a bank or credit card company that profits from loaning money would be shoving you out of the way to make the loan, that's how they earn money

if my husband loaned someone five figures against my wishes, the marriage would also be over

i have NEVER had a positive outcome from loaning a friend money and if you care about the friendship you won't loan the money because it's the kiss of death

but, as i say, the friendship is likely dead anyway, if your friend cared about your friendship and your feelings, he would never put you in such a position

one of the reasons people can't ever climb out of a poorer background is because as soon as they start to improve themselves a little, friends come out of the woodwork with hands out and in your pocket to "borrow" money -- it's that crabs in a bucket syndrome

once you are known as someone who loans money, how will you say no to the next "friend"? and the next? and the next?

there is no use in spelling it out to your "friend" how he made you feel, he already knows he is putting you on the spot, you simply say, "i'm sorry, but my wife won't go along with this," or "i'm sorry, but i was about to ask you the same thing because we're having some financial problems ourselves," and if your friend wants to continue to nag you about it, you block his calls and emails

but you can't save this friendship since your "friend" has already decided to end it