Reply #18: what are you holding out for, and what are you settling for? [View All]

[kwassa]

Don't look for idealized love, look for real love, a connection, an attraction, someone who shares the same values, interests, and aspirations, with enough in common that creating a relationship is natural rather than constant work, a joy rather than labor.

By the way, I've never believed in the concept of "soul mate", we all fit together a little awkwardly, at least. There is no perfect relationship, but there are some very good ones.

I think wanting a wife and family is pretty natural, it was for me. One thing that helped me tremendously is when I completely rid myself of the idea of what this person had to look like. The visual was getting in the way for me. All kinds of possibilities suddenly opened up.