Reply #20: I was always clueless too but now I am married [View All]

[Nikia]

Really compared to your experiences, mine were much more damaging, but I don't feel like bearing that part of me right now. I never understood things like flirting or signs that someone liked me without them being obvious as in "I really like you. Would you like to go out with me?". Because of trust issues I have with men, I would never touch a man that I was not already comfortable with, even then I am more careful about such boundaries so I wouldn't unless I knew that he was alright with that. I had a number of guy friends though starting in elementary school and never looked at the opposite sex as "opposite" or being completely different than me. My dad was a more sensitive, emotional, artistic person than my mother who was the more competitive, aggressive, angry person during my childhood so I didn't have the gender distinctions that most people do. Anyway during my teen years and college until I met my husband, there were several times when I misinterpreted things. There were a number of guys that I liked who turned out just to like me as friends. There were also a number of guys who evidently liked me as more than friends but I missed every sign. In fact, there were a few times when I was shocked when they did come onto me in an obvious way.
I did date a few guys. They weren't really that good for me. I dated them because I thought that they were alright and they did come onto me in an obvious way, not because I liked them beforehand.
I met my husband a few days in class before we got together. Then we danced together at a fraternity party. Then we started kissing. Lucky me that he turned out to be a great guy for me. Lucky for him too because he was an equally clueless type of guy.
My inlaws thought that we were too young to committ to one another (We got married when we were 22.). She said that we were missing out on the fun of going out and dating. We didn't think so. That was not our idea of a good time.
Good luck. Get to know more women. Maybe, something like that will happen to you. I think such things have to happen that way for us clueless people. Either that or a dating service or singles (as in looking) group. Half the time determining if a person even wants a relationship if half the problem.