USA For Sale - Vendor Highly MOTIVATED! [View All]

[NanceGreggs]

As long as BU$HCO is determined to sell off the country, why do it in bits and pieces? With one low-cost eBay ad, it can be peddled in one easy transaction:

FOR SALE: One Country - United States of America
(a.k.a. "Good Ol' US of A", "Cradle of Democracy", "Beacon of Freedom")

CONTENTS INCLUDE:

CITIZENS - 300,000,000 (majority highly disgruntled)
MILITARY FORCES - More than SLIGHTLY used
(1) CONGRESS + (1) SENATE - Handyman's special, need MAJOR repairs
NATIONAL PARKS/FORESTS - Number available dependent on speed of sale
(1) WHITE HOUSE - Great nostalgic value for right purchaser
(1) NATIONAL FLAG - Once proud, presently in tatters
(1) CONSTITUTION - Badly damaged, but unread for almost five years

PRESENT ABILITY TO GENERATE INCOME: Almost nil

PRESENT LIABILITIES: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of debt. Purchaser must assume all responsibility for pending lawsuits re illegal wiretapping, unlawful detention of foreign personages, allegations of torture/murder, crimes against humanity, bribe-taking, illegal voting systems, etc. (complete list available upon request)

EXTRAS INCLUDE:
Structural plans for Bridge-to-Nowhere (Alaska)
Diebold voting machines (caveat emptor clause applies)
(1) Administration (ethics not included)
Cable-ready nation-wide wire-tapping system (already in place)

FIXTURES NOT INCLUDED:
New Orleans & Environs
SIX major US ports
Democracy, freedom, civil liberties, etc.

PRICE: Best offer - or FREE to Democratic Party (proof of desire to own required).