I don't think that I will be voting in California's primary this Tuesday. [View All]

[robertpaulsen]

I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. Usually my vote in the primary is done strictly through my conscience. But I can't vote for a candidate who ends their campaign prior to my vote. That's the litmus test for viability in my book, polls be fucked (they usually are). Once a candidate drops out, I would feel my vote for them would simply be out of protest, in which case I might as well just write in Al Gore's name if I wanted my vote to be STRICTLY out of conscience. But as much as I try to deny it, viability does play a factor in so much that as long as a candidate is willing to tough it out and fight for the candidacy, regardless of the odds, I will support them if their ideological views most reflect mine. I was originally going to vote for Kucinich on February 5, but after he dropped out, I started to take a closer look at the Big Three.

Last week, my 64 year old father was diagnosed with colon cancer. I am not certain how far it has progressed; when I take him to the hospital tomorrow for surgery (fortunately we were able to get that scheduled quickly) I will certainly have a lot of questions for the doctor. I'm trying to keep positive thoughts and stay hopeful that the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes, which will be removed and tested. But it's quite a shock, he's very health conscious with his diet, doesn't eat red meat, doesn't eat pork, no family history of cancer at all.

He should be getting out of the hospital either Monday or Tuesday. He lives alone with a cat, so I will be staying with him all next week to take care of him and the cat. Whether it's helping to buy groceries, make meals or do laundry, I want to be there to help him in any way I can so that he doesn't have to strain or exert himself and can just focus on resting and recovering. He lives about an hour and a half away from my house. I suppose if he comes home on Monday, I could wake up Tuesday morning, prepare our breakfasts, drive home, walk five minutes to my polling place, vote, then drive back in time to prepare our lunch. Frankly, I don't know if I have the energy. It only added to my depression to find out Edwards is dropping out. Not that I have any problems voting for Obama or Clinton in November, but it's depressing to see my choices have already been narrowed to an either or vote this primary. Whoever wins, they better be prepared to throw John "Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran" McCain's warmongering glibness right back in his face. Americans may love a veteran, but they hate a bully. We can win on the economy AND the war. So whether it's Obama or Clinton, sorry I don't think I'll be able to help you this time around. I'll be there in November.