Reply #20: Not tossing you under the bus, but I do think it's sexist for men to do favors for women [View All]

[Berry Cool]

based strictly on their sex, that they would not do for another man.

Men don't feel obligated to always pay for each other's dinners (if they did, imagine the fights that would ensue--"I'm paying!" "No, I'M PAYING!"). They don't feel obligated to open doors for men behind them or, apparently, help them change a flat even if they have no clue how to do it themselves. A guy with a flat tire is just a guy with a flat tire; a woman with a flat tire is a "damsel in distress" who needs "rescue" from a "knight in shining armor," I guess.

Come on, these are not "random acts of kindness." They are MEN doing SPECIFIC acts of kindness to WOMEN because of the man-woman dynamic.

Oh, and I am not saying the OP is some horrible person because of it. I'm just asking him to go that little extra mile and realize how deeply this stuff is bred into his bones and say yes, I know that for that very reason it must be very hard to divest yourself of, but if you'd think just that little teeny bit...

I guess my feeling is this. I have yet to meet the kind of man who wanted to open doors, fix flats and pay for all meals for women who didn't expect that just as he naturally did these things for women, women would naturally want to do other things for him in return. Such as, if the woman was his wife, she would do the cooking, cleaning and raising the kids, because of course she would want to and of course she would do it better. Whether it was true or not.