I think Sen. Kerry picked up some good advice today! [View All]

[TayTay]

Senator, we the undersigned denizens of Liberalwebloggia advise you to:

Shut down the Senate. Ahm, presumably you have the keys to the place and if you accidentally took them with you for the weekend, well then, maybe you could leave them at home in Boston or something. Without the keys, they can't open the place up and all our problems would be solved. The duplicate set was given to Sen. Allen last year and he ate them or something, so if you lose the last set, no business can be conducted. Nice move.

Object to every Unanimous Consent request. Nothing says love to the liberal blogosphere like sheer obstructionism. Seriously, get a newspaper or a really long paperback (something not too steamy, Senate session are televised you know) and just park yourself at your desk and yell out, "I object" every ten minutes of so. All the other Senators will love you for it, trust us. It really is that easy.

Have a press conference on the steps of the Capital. Bring along Sen. Russ Feingold. Publicly announce that you are going to to be surgically joined at the hip. That way, whatever the good Senator from Wisconsin does, you can do too! The web will love it. Nothing says loving like surgically attaching yourself to another Senator. (No, it can't be Senator Cantwell. The liberal web doesn't trust her. It has to be Feingold. No, not even Boxer. That's so 2005 you know.)

Filibuster everything. And do it the old-fashioned way, just stand and talk and talk and talk. The other Democratic Senators, especially the Nelsons, will love it! You know, there have been quite a few advances in the human cybernetics field that you might want to look into. Medical science can make is so you could talk until August and never have to leave the floor. (Just get that special Senate permission for 'staff' to come on the floor and change the batteries and stuff and you are solid for three months of non-stop talking.) That'll shut it down but good.

Please tell everyone that you are personally sending a jet to Iraq to evacuate the troops. The government takes too long to get these things done and Teresa has one lying around and well, just get to it. You can take the troops out in groups of 40 or so. It will take at least two or three weeks, but this will show you mean business.

BTW, we think you should serve on every Senate Committee. That way, we know who to blame when judges go through that we don't like or CIA directors get appointed that we don't like or when Rethugs try to put through bad Health Care bills. If you served on and ran every committee you know, the Senate wouldn't be in this kind of trouble. Something to think about, don't you think.

Anyway, just some friendly advice from Liberalwebloggia. Have fun storming the castle and let us know if you need people with pitchforks. It sort of works in the movies and we would be willing to give it a shot. (And your welcome, pre-emptively.)