ASTB 6/23/05 (waaah again...) [View All]

[Berry Cool]

"Hi. This is Keith. Look, I can see you guys are pretty depressed that I took yet ANOTHER night off. Well, let me just tell you--I have a VERY good excuse this time, despite what you may think. I have an extremely important meeting tonight with some guys in pinstriped suits. You know how that is.

*crack of bat* *cheers*

"Damn, when will these guys stop BLOWING MY COVER WITH THE SOUND EFFECTS????

"Anyway, I just want to say...please. Don't get any more torqued out about this than you already are, if you can possibly help it. Go take a tranquilizer or something. Read my new blog. RE-read my new blog. And by all means, EAT SOMETHING!!!!

"Now, for the really bad news...I might as well get it over with up front...I'm not going to be in tomorrow night either. (pause) What?!? You expect that after ALL I DID FOR YOU, coming in for 20 minutes from LA and then doing a WHOLE SHOW from out there just for you guys, I don't deserve a few more days off?? Whatta bunch of ingrates *I* have for fans!! Look, I'm sorry but I'm not even going to try to lie about it this time. YOU try to keep me away from a Mets vs. Yankees game. Just try...and see how far you get!

"And don't kid yourselves. I've got security guards posted on the subway line already to make sure I get there safely. So forget it. Just forget it.

"Ha ha! Batter up!! I can't wait!!!!"



--K.O.