Reply #22: Another perspective [View All]

[ismnotwasm]

I've mentioned here and there that my husband has multiple sclerosis, and is unable to work. He was diagnosed quite young, so even his SSDI is not a large amount. So he is "dependent" on me financially. We use my insurance so he gets the best, most up to date care. So we work out little ways to "even" things out. He drives me to and from work. He pays the bills. He has complete and total access to our finances. (Both of us came from a place where we didn't know how to manage money so it's been a rough road at times. We learned, The Hard Way)

And it's him who took the kids to doctors and dentists, when something went wrong and trust me, with four kids something, sometime, somehow, is going to go wrong. He was there providing support way more often that I was. He also was better at the "tough love" a couple of our children needed, as my parenting style was lazziz-faire at times. He put in as much, as often as he could and I watched him go beyond and above what I considered his physical capabilities. And paid the price in fatigue and other symptoms later.

So I understand what you're saying. Even though for you it's a choice and for my husband it's not. We've made the best out of it. And it works.

Financially trapped women have a different outcome. The love and support the give and take, the balance isn't there. It's a frightening place to be.