Russian cows get new feed: marijuana

[MadisonProgressive]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8967307/

'I don’t know what the milk will be like after this,' drug agency officer says

MOSCOW - Russia’s long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.

Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 ton of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

“There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper. “I don’t know what the milk will be like after this.”

[DoYouEverWonder]

1. Wow, another use for hemp

I didn't cows could eat it?

[Tesla]

2. Wonder how I can get some of that rib roast!!!

hahaha

Hey Mama, this steak tastes WILD!!!

[MADem]

9. Yeah, hey dude...uh, beef, man, it's what's for dinner!!!!

Cool...I'm starving!!! Got any chips to go with that?????

[Lost4words]

3. Contented cows give the best milk!

[blindpig]

18. indeed!

When I was a kid a local dairy's slogan was "milk from contented cows".What were they up to?

[liberal N proud]

4. New dairy ad - High on Milk!

[uncle ray]

31. actually a rehash of an old one

i remember whn i was younger, in the 80's growing up on the farm, seeing the tshirts and bumper stickers that said something like "get high on milk, our cows are on grass"

[niallmac]

56. re hash?

[TahitiNut]

5. So, Russian cattle are no longer lowing, huh? (They're highing?)

(Mooooooo!) Udderly delightful!

[0007]

7. That's funny!

What will they eat when they get the munchies?

[TahitiNut]

11. Cow chips, of course.

:evilgrin:

[TahitiNut]

36. Can't you just see them cows "high-oneing" each other?

:silly: "Don't bogart that mulch, sister!"

[CAcyclist]

49. High-twoing,you mean.

Since they have cloven hooves

[TahitiNut]

52. (Oops!) Yeah... horses "high-one" each other. Cows and goats "high-two"

:blush: You can tell I only spent a few summers in farm country as a kid.

[CAcyclist]

62. Hey, I Had To Read Your Line A Couple Times

before I realized that, hey, wait a minute, when I trimmed those cows ' feet in vet school, they had two hooves.

[TahitiNut]

64. (grin)

I was hoping someone felt rewarded by getting it. I tend to enjoy that 'time delay' humor. I know I get the biggest laughs from Carlinesque comedians whose jokes take me a second or two to process. It's a comic art I admire greatly. I'll probably never know how they walk the tightrope between an audience going "Huh?" and "Oh! (lol!)"

[nyhuskyfan]

6. Maybe there's a market for this

We could call it "Heifer Reefer"

[YOY]

8. Conection with Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia flavor???

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...could be!

:smoke:

I guess a kind bud can also be a kind cud at times.

[Turbineguy]

10. Animal Husbandry

Until they caught him at it.

(OK, I got that from Tom Lehrer)

[meow2u3]

12. Great cheese come from happy cows

Happy cows come from.....Russia! :D

[mccoyn]

13. I worked at a farm that had this happen.

Someone snuck in and planted a bunch of marijuana amoung the corn. It gets all the benefits of a fertalized maintained environment and they just pull it out before the corn is harvested. When the farmers found out about it the government came in and removed it. Black helicopters and all.

The funny thing was that this farm was a wastewater facility, reusing human waste to fertalize farms that grow animal feed. So those people were going to be smoking their own shit.

[htuttle]

15. It happens quite naturally throughout the Midwest

They used to grow lots of legal hemp around here 'between the wars' (Hemp For Victory!), and it's such a prolific plant, you can't get rid of the wild ditch weed.

Many, many fields growing animal feed have hemp mixed in with the corn, etc... In fact, you can also find it where they crap, since many of the seeds 'come through' intact (as they are designed to do).

As far as I can tell, there are no effects, other than the animals getting a nice shiny coat from the oily hempseeds.

:shrug:

[CAcyclist]

48. Yikes - Human Waste As Fertilizer

I think its this reuse of human waste for growing animal feed that is the main source for the pathogenic e.coli bacteria that cows then carry and recycle into our bodies - more so than the antibiotic angle, although that contributes to it, too. Both practices brought to us by the wonders of corporate farming.

[mccoyn]

59. They were only allowed to sell it for non-feed animals.

It fed horses, dogs and cats. They didn't sell it to anything that would re-enter the human food chain.

[CAcyclist]

63. Oh, Still yech.

Thanks for clarifying.

[Buns_of_Fire]

51. "...And he dug and he burned, and he burned and he dug,

And he killed all our cute little weeds

Then he drove away

We just smiled and waved...

Sittin' there on that sack of seeds"

--Jim Stafford, "Wildwood Weed"

[olddad56]

60. I'll bet it was 'good shit'

[Algorem]

14. Safe as milk

[Mizmoon]

16. They "had" to destroy the sunflowers and maize

but left the herbs?

Hmmmmmmmmm.... sounds fishy.

[slay]

17. Yet another reason the drug war is STUPID

The Drug War is pure propaganda. Whatever happened to freedom of choice? Don't like marijuana? Then don't smoke it. The Russians are only the latest victims to the ridiculous, almost worldwide, ban on hemp.

[Javaman]

19. Combines the best of both worlds, a good high and the munchies...

[Gidney N Cloyd]

20. How Now, Magic Brownie Cows? nt

[tabasco]

21. Ya' know, when I eat one of those Russian steaks ...

it seems like I just keep getting hungrier :shrug:

[whatever4]

22. It's the easiest crop to grow, makes sense

Cannabis usually needs no fertilizer, and puts back nutrients into the soil. It's the cheapest crop I know of, grows literally anywhere in the world.

But shhhhhhhh, we don't want to talk about the benefits of hemp. THAT would blow the lid of the drug war, and the drug industry...and the prisons we have more full than any other nation...and let's not even delve into the potential of bio-diesel and our current oil crisis. Bio-diesel we could make with hemp (it being known as an "oil seed") that would run in ordinary, unaltered diesel cars and trucks. With MUCH safer emissions, with no particulates, sulfates and many other petrol problems.

It's not even germane. Somehow. IN this country. Makes too much sense, saves US too much money. Doesn't make THEIR industries enough money.

In paper. In textiles. In medicines. Medicines which won't kill with drug overdoses (accidental or suicidal), drug interactions, unexpectedly stopping (sometimes ending medication is the most dangerous aspect of taking it), or even altering dosage. It's just too darn easy to take a few tokes more, without worry of death, sickness or incapacitation.

NO. SHHHHHHHHHHHH It's a secret.

Ever heard a great idea that everyone said was nuts? It's so sad.

OH, I forgot to mention food. Hemp seed is virtually as nutritious as soy. Though MUCH easier to grow. We could feed our nation. We could feed the world even. No one would have to starve again. Ever. Anywhere.

Just a pipe dream. Not even worth considering. Dreams are that way.

[MadisonProgressive]

23. Also bio-degradable plastics

[whatever4]

26. Oh, yes, I always forget that. Thank you :) nm

[Bragi]

24. Will the cows get the munchies? /eom

[LiberalEsto]

25. Estonians drove their cattle through hempseed smoke

I swear, I read this in James Frazier's classic, "The Golden Bough".

Back in the early or mid 19th century the Estonians (Baltic neighbors of Russia) drove their herds of cattle through the smoke after tossing hempseed on their Midsummer bonfires. This was done yearly at Midsummer (June 23)to protect the cattle and increase the herds.

[texpatriot2004]

27. that is sick! poor cows. n/t

[goodboy]

28. where can I order some cheeze, milk and steak? (nt)

[havocmom]

29. Hmmm, milk and...

COOKIES!

[maxrandb]

30. Wonder if it will show up on a piss test? n/t

[MadisonProgressive]

45. Better yet, make useless any piss tests!

[silvermachine]

32. Glad Cow Disease

eom

[LeftyElvis]

33. Waiter?

I'll have the Russian beef and a side of M&Ms.

[VegasWolf]

34. Russian milk imports to quadruple!!! Screw California, "Happy cows

come from Russia!"

[YOY]

39. In Russian!

"Shtastliviye Korovi Iz Rossii!"

[Megahurtz]

35. I guess they'll be sleeping a lot. n/t

[vajraroshana]

37. THC is not water-soluble

The cows won't get high and there won't be any thc in their milk or meat.

[K-W]

38. There are fats in both meat and milk

and THC is fat soluble.

[vajraroshana]

40. you have to _cook_ it with fat for it to dissolve

also it can be dissolved in alcohol

[K-W]

43. Not true.

THC and other cannaboids do accumulate in body fat.

[MadisonProgressive]

46. Hey! You're fuckin up my high!

:spank:

[CAcyclist]

50. The cows will get high.

I don't know about the milk, but chances are, it could be present in the milk.

[VegasWolf]

41. Sounds like Russian steaks for me from now on! nt

[slay]

42. Lucky cows! Where can I get some of that yummy THC milk?

:evilgrin:

[nookiemonster]

44. "Yum. This steak is really juicy, and tender, and......uh....

what were we talking about again?"

:silly:

[texpatriot2004]

47. Really, if this is true, surely there is another country who can

help Russia by sending some proper food for the cows.

[Wizard777]

53. Right when your sure Cows couldn't possibly get any more passive.

Then this happens. Cool. :hippie:

[Wizard777]

54. There could be a down side to this.

Just think about it. Thousands of Russian Cows busting out their barns and wandering the streets of Russia in search of Dorito's and Soda's. It could bring mass transit to a grinding halt. :wow:

[katamaran]

55. Isn't that going to give the cows the muchies?

Reefer maddened cows go out seeking more food. The visual is cracking me up.

[LeighAnn]

57. Weed is such a danger we have to destroy the cattle feed

More dumb drug war bullshit.

[K-W]

58. But people might get high and destroy civilization.

Is that what you want, is it?!

[LeighAnn]

65. If it's good enough for cattle, it's good enough for me.

That's all I was saying. But just about this particular kind of feed.

[olddad56]

61. Pot is dangerous to the government....

It counteracts mind control.

[Canuckistanian]

66. Do cows have minds to be stoned out of?

But seriously, folks, I'm here til Thursday. Try the veal!