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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15th
This beginning part of the story deals with my experience on this particular Saturday. It is therapeutic for me to write this all down, and release it to others.
I had an offer to go with my roommate to Sarasota for the weekend, which I declined, due to my preset plans of going to Miami. (this detail seems coincidental later on). I was getting ready to attend a street medic training at the temporary wellness center, where I was to learn about how to deal with emergency protest-related injuries.
I woke up at 5am with barely 3 hours of sleep, and biked 3 miles to the tri-rail train station. I rode the train until the metro-rail stop. At that point, I met up with 3 other activists I recognized from the FCAA-lake worth warehouse. They were also heading to the medic training, so we found our way there together.
It was a long, busy day. There was so much vital knowledge crammed into only 8 hours. I learned how to treat abrasions, head wounds, spine injuries, and give eye flushes to people who had been tear gassed and pepper sprayed.
As sunset approached and the session ended, the 4 of us headed back toward the metro-rail station. About 2 blocks away, we noticed we were being followed and watched by a couple police officers, and also noted that there was a large police presence actually at the station. Walking into the doors, a strange intuition set in. somehow I dismissed it, knowing we were doing absolutely nothing even remotely illegal, and we would be fine. I was wrong.
As we approached the turnstile, we were quickly surrounded by a horde of bike cops. They grabbed our backpacks from us and immediately started searching through them. They also began to separate us and started asking for IDs. I looked over at the one other womyn and she made a motion over her mouth “zip your lips”. I realized right away that I was the only one with an ID on me (& I would never have brought it if I knew I was to be stopped like that).
They quickly started writing down my information on some form. They also started pulling things out of my bag, specifically information I had just been given at the medic training. One of the fliers had the title of “oh shit, I’m about to be arrested”. It included tips on what to be aware of, including a line that said, “remember, cops lie.” They took the sheet and photocopied it with one of those phone cameras. They also looked through my personal journal, which left me feeling more violated than the frisking and pat down I was subjected to a few minutes later.
Within the first half hour, the only words I remember saying were phrased as a question: “what am I being held for?” one police officer answered that we fit the description of four people who were running around the streets, changing clothes, and avoiding the police. I bit my tongue, inwardly screaming, “even if that WAS us, that DOESN’T constitute a crime.”
I decided to pass the time by counting how many officers I could see. Without being able to turn around, I tallied up 30, and I knew there were many behind me out of view. Obviously, I was really angry. But I also felt powerless and worried. I didn’t know if I was going to be spending the night in jail, and I hadn’t fully prepared myself yet, in regards to legal contacts. These emotions, coupled with the burning knowledge of my own innocence & the sense of being profiled as an activist, made me feel gross.
30 minutes or so passed by. I couldn’t stand how I felt. Suddenly, I found myself remembering a story I was once told by a man named Kevin, who conducts the prayer services at casa maria. He told about a monk who was captured by an army, and spent many years brutally treated and imprisoned by them. When the monk was finally freed, he was asked what he thought about all that time. His only prayer, he said, was that he not lose compassion for his captors, or surely he would have lost hope. This remembrance hit me powerfully.
I began to call upon all the strength I could muster, all the people who had shown me compassion in my life, and focus on the thought of “human law is not the same as divine law”. I started to somehow detach myself from the experience. I began to feel empathy and sadness for the police officers. In this new vantage point, I saw that they were less free than I, even though I was in their custody.
I noticed that only two or three of the police were “calling the shots”. More and more, the specific officers took on unique humanness. It became less and less of a “faceless intimidation” (which is definitely a tactic used by police in these types of situations) as I began to look individuals straight in the eye, with compassion and not fear.
Everything began to shift. First, there was a question about my shorts: “what do those patches mean?” I looked down and saw one specifically --- a lock attached to a female symbol with the words “break free”. I pointed to it and told the female officer who asked, “well this one is about womyn’s oppression”. Right away, it sparked a debate among the two female and three male cops that were immediately in front of me. I just watched & listened, surprised & amused.
More questions came my way. One male officer of color asked me if the anti-FTAA demonstrations had anything to do with race. I answered him by saying yes, that it had to do with equality in many forms. I said, as a white womyn, I needed to be an ally to people & communities of color, constantly questioning my privilege. I also asked that he be an ally to womyn, and urged him to consider his privilege as well. As U.S.americans, I said, we need to be allies to those in central and south America, who would be severely affected by the unfair FTAA trade war.
This seemed to open up a channel for some of the police officers, of which I noticed many were people of color. They became more curious about me as a human being, wondering if I was educated (yes, a bachelors degree and next year to attend grad school) and what I did for a living (coordinate a non-profit teen program for low income youth). Somehow this instilled a sense of trust suddenly in me, the one being detained.
One officer really gravitated to me. He told me a long story about his family and two children, as well as anecdotes from his personal life. He also said that the two years he spent doing community service for the police force where the most rewarding two years of his career. He wanted to one day start his own non-profit.
After another hour and a half, they finally decided to let us go. However, before that, I had many more interesting conversations. One police officer told me that 90 percent of the officers agree with what we are standing up for and protesting. But he declared that they were there to weed out “the anarchists”, implying that I was not one due to my peaceful nature. When I told him that I was an anarchist, AND I was nonviolent, (while also stating that most anarchists I know are also nonviolent) he looked shocked. He actually said, “in my IGNORANCE I thought all anarchist were violent. You know, you just taught me something.”
Another officer commented that he didn’t understand why us protestors thought the police were so awful. Without responding to the ignorance of his question, I pointed out to him the situation as I saw it--- there appears to be a “war” between police and protestors, but it’s really about who we are representing. The police are there with weapons representing the government & corporations; the protestors are armed with signs & puppets & instruments representing the many people of all the Americas that will be negatively affected by the trade agreement.
Right before leaving, two officers wished me luck, and blessed me. Just as I was headed out, one of the “commanding officers” came up and said loudly “yeah, we’ll let these ones go --- but in a few days, they’re gonna be the ones smashing the glass windows”. I didn’t need to respond. The one officer that told me about his personal life stood up for me, directly confronting the other (who was most likely his boss). I heard him say, “no, I know they won’t do that”. I turned and looked back as I walked away, and saw the two of them engaged in a heated discussion.
We went outside and were quickly picked up by two lawyers from NLG, and taken to a safe space. Later on, we got a ride to a different train station and boarded the last train home. I was left with conflicting feelings.
From this experience, I came to some new personal truths.
1. I directly experienced injustice, which was only a prelude to the awful police misconduct I witnessed the forthcoming week. 2. I was very grateful that I had not been physically harmed, and I saw how easily I could have been. 3. within myself, I found compassion in the face of anger, and was able to understand how imprisoning of a profession being a police officer is, especially in Miami at this time. 4. I only had a small taste of what I feels like to be profiled. As a white womyn, I usually am not subjected to the constant police profiling that many young men of color (particularly black & latino men) go through on a daily basis.
The following day, I told my detainment chronicle to my mom. She told me that Saturday night, she had spoken to my aunt carol who lived in Sarasota, informing her that I was going to participate in the Miami demonstrations and asking her to pray for me. I haven’t seen my aunt in over 10 years, and if I would have gone to Sarasota, it would have been to meet up with her again. Carol is a former Chicago police officer, and she flashed into my memory as I stood in front of the other officers. Being related to her, I recognized that each one of those officers has families they treasure, and they do put their lives on the line every day, not to mention usually being underpaid as well.
I also spoke to my friend Kelly, who had gone to an interweave ritual Saturday night. (interweave is a group of womyn in Milwaukee who come together for food and spirit-filled celebrations; I used to attend these gatherings when I lived there). She told me there was an extra empty seat in the circle that night, and she visualized me sitting there. I definitely felt synchronicity at work. I had visualized some of the interweave elders when I was being detained, because they were examples of compassion for me, and I had also dreamed about them 2 nights before.
This is only my Saturday story. Many more events took place the following week. Because of the massive police brutality that I witnessed, specifically on Thursday and Friday, it is very challenging for me now to hold onto that sense of compassion. I will write more about the protest when I can. Thanks for reading--- I know this is long. I appreciate your support.
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