Drug tests greeting troops at Lakenheath

[saigon68]

http://stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=41286


RAF LAKENHEATH, England — The United Kingdom’s largest U.S. Air Force installation is running an aggressive anti-drug initiative that calls for airmen to be screened for a urine sample upon arriving at the base.

Base officials conducted a random sweep about two months ago when 25 people were screened after entering Gate 1 early in the morning.

The team of screeners, which includes both Security Forces airmen as well as technicians from the 48th Medical Group, targeted every vehicle that entered the gate between 2 and 4 a.m. Sept. 9, a Saturday. Only active-duty members of the military are subject to the urinalysis.


GET OFF THE BUS AND PISS IN A BOTTLE

ANOTHER TOOL TO ENCOURAGE RE-ENLISTMENT

[itsrobert]

1. This is nothing new in the Air Force

It's been done previously at several other Air Force installations.

[sarge43]

3. Yup. This is not news nor new.

The no notice pee-pee pull has been going on since the early '70's. Got to be fairly routine following a three day weekend for the medics to show up with their plastic cups. The fun part was you couldn't do your thing in private; someone had to stand at the open stall door while you squeezed out your offering. If you didn't have bashful bladder before ...

"Looks like I picked a bad week to stop drinking coffee."

[Cobalt-60]

2. In fairness to the P-Men

A person who spends their military career sniffing urine is bound to display some eccentric behavior.

[acmavm]

6. That's what my idiot brother bob did in the army. He's a friggin'

weirdo. He's creepy too.

He even tried to start up a piss-testing company when he got out. It failed. (We have a bunch here, I guess those who are so damn interested in what you do on you own time didn't need one more.)

[michreject]

4. Where's the alarm

It's not new. I got out in 72 and had to do it.

[bemildred]

5. I suppose that is one way to get out of going back. nt

[sarge43]

7. Nah. They'll just slap an Art 15 or letter of rep in your file and send

you anyway.

[bemildred]

8. I guess it's good to know that before you let yourself get caught.

I do find the idea of drug-crazed soldiers somewhat disturbing, so maybe this is not such a bad thing anyway.
:hi:

[sarge43]

9. There hasn't been an army that marched that hasn't been wired

on something - if not drugs, then booze. Remember it's 90% boredom and 10% terror, a recipe for mind alternating. Check out Bill Mauldin's Up Front and all his references to the GIs boozing. Grandpa was shit faced a good deal of the time. Ask dad about drug use in Nam. My husband has some hair raising stories about his fellow ammo men doin' the weed and worse in that hell hole. Or on parameter guard and finding another guard so stoned he couldn't stand up. I was Personnel point for disciplinary actions at three AF bases. I was talking with a squadron commander about his ten percenters ("10% of the force cause 90% of the trouble"). He said that it wasn't enlisted druggies who were the problem. It was boozing officers. Hellva of admission from a command pilot and lt colonel and he was probably right.

So, I'm sorry to make you nervous, but busting a handful of idiots is just so much wall papering.

[jonnywishbone97]

10. This is nothing

When I was a dependent my dad was an officer with the Air Force in Germany. Every time I came back from Amsterdam or Frankfurt those security pigs pulled my car over and did a drug check in it. They couldnt drug test me because I was not active duty but it would be hilarious when they brought the dogs to the car. It got to the point where I would leave a half eaten steak sandwich in the car just so the dog wouldnt think about the dope it was supposed to be looking for and concentrated on finding my food.

[sarge43]

11. Yup

Routine to keep open packages of beef jerky and other stuff in the barracks to throw off the narc mutts.

Good time, good times

[jonnywishbone97]

12. mimicking my favorite Eddie Murphy line in Trading Places

Beef Jerky time.:)

[sarge43]

13. Snerk

If he's still around, say hi to your dad for me.

[jonnywishbone97]

14. Will do

The old man is doing great. He still dont know some of the things I did as a dependent. Its my job to make sure my kid doesnt do the same. We miss those days in the old country. Im shocked still that they closed down the General Walker hotel in Bertechsgaten. I loved that place.

[sarge43]

15. Oh he knows

He's just keeping his counsel until you start kevetching about your kid. Wait until he tells his stories when he was a frisky young butterbar.

I didn't much like Germany. England was my other home.

[jonnywishbone97]

16. lol I didnt like England much

Germany was where my friends were. England was where I was banished too. Was glad to go back to Munich for school for a couple of extra years while my folks were in England. I still keep in contact with those kids from those days.

[sarge43]

17. We all have that place where we feel at home.

The spousal unit still gets misty about Japan and he was all over the Pacific basin.

[jmowreader]

18. Drug dogs in the barracks are lots of fun too

One of my instructors at wiretapping school was a sergeant named Mike Wimer. This guy is the reason the Army requires all instructors to go through a full psych evaluation before they're allowed near trainees; let's just say Mike Wimer is not the guy you want molding young impressionable minds. (He'd do shit like drive past formations playing antiwar songs on his car stereo.)

Anyway...Sergeant Wimer was stationed in Panama, and his battalion commander had this thing about bringing drug dogs into the barracks. He just thought Health and Welfare inspections were the greatest way to spend a quiet Friday night. To send a message to this moran, Sergeant Wimer went downtown, bought two ounces of hash oil and an ounce of opium oil, and mixed them into a five-gallon can of liquid floor wax. Which they proceeded to wax every floor on post with. You guys remember the scene in Up in Smoke where the drug dog sniffed the van and passed out? Sergeant Wimer says that really happens.

[sarge43]

19. ....

:rofl::applause::patriot: Sgt Wimer.

[jmowreader]

20. Sergeant Wimer also almost started World War III all by himself

There were American bases on both Panamanian coasts. His unit was stationed on the east coast. They had a requirement to go to a base on the west coast and tap some phones there. The most logical way to get from the east coast to the west coast was to transit the canal, so that's what they did.

Mike loaded an AN/TTR-1A wiretap on a barge, got three other soldiers to serve as line handlers, bought two cases of beer and off they went.

The TTR-1A is in an S-456 shelter, which looks like a pickup camper. That's important to this tale.

They got the barge out into the canal and were putting west, and decided that after all that hard work a beer sounded pretty good. Mike and one of the other buddy-fuckers he had working for him put a case of beer on top of the TTR-1A, threw a couple of lawn chairs up there, and started drinking.

About halfway through the canal, they met a Soviet SIGINT ship--a converted deep-sea fishing trawler full of radio gear that we called an Auxiliary General Intelligence (AGI) ship. And being a good, patriotic, thoroughly stewed American, Wimer decided that the best thing to do would be to flip it off. So up went Mike's finger, and up went one of the Soviets' guns. Fortunately, his buddy was able to push him off the top of the TTR-1A into the canal before they started shooting. (This is how he got Jungle Rot.)

How he got sent to Korea was pretty humorous too. US Army Intelligence School Devens had two battalions. First Battalion was the student battalion. Second Battalion contained the NCO Academy, the instructor company and the school staff company. First Battalion was commanded by Lieutenant Colonel Worth A. Sweet--who looked and sounded EXACTLY like Andy Griffith. Acted a lot like him too. Anyway, when new instructors came to the school they always had to meet with Colonel Sweet, whose welcoming speech had one theme: don't fuck my students. If you're fucking my students I will catch you and when I do I will send you to the worst unit in the entire world. Well...Mike decided right then to fuck all the students he possibly could. How the dumb fuck screwed up was by going to sick call when one of them gave him the clap, instead of going to Boston and telling the doctor he got the shit from a prostitute. When you go to the Army doctor with the clap you have to report all the people you've had sex with for the last month...and Mike reeled off this list of fifteen privates. Oops. So Colonel Sweet shipped his ass straight to the 2nd Infantry Division. No one who's been in the "Second D" will ever go to hell. St. Peter puts it down as "time already served." Unfortunately for the colonel, Mike liked it there and extended twice.

[sarge43]

22. Now there's a man who was all he could be.

He goes on my unsung heroes list with the about to be a civilian AF captain who when asked by some smarmy colonel what he going to do in real world answered, "Well sir, I'm giving serious thought to trolling Greyhound bus stations and doin' five buck blow jobs to get back my self respect."

[Dune]

21. this is simple

If you were GWB and owned the Columbian coke fields and had just aquired the richest poppy fields in the world, you would want to protect your investment from those theiving grunts trying to get into you pie... right?