Dobson to aid in counseling Haggard

[rodeodance]

oh my gosh!



http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061107/ap_on_re_us/haggard_dobson

Dobson to aid in counseling Haggard

41 minutes ago

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - Focus on the Family founder James Dobson will be one of the people overseeing counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard, the evangelical pastor who was fired amid allegations of gay sex and drug use, a senior official of Dobson's organization said Monday.


The counseling process, called restoration, could take years, said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family, a Colorado Springs-based ministry.

"I think it may be more in helping to set the requirements of the restoration, set the ground rules," London told The Associated Press.

Haggard was forced out as senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs on Saturday after a former male escort alleged they had sex repeatedly and that Haggard sometimes was on methamphetamines during their trysts.

In a statement read at the church Sunday, Haggard confessed to unspecified "sexual immorality," accepted responsibility for his actions and asked forgiveness.

[hwmnbn]

1. Counselling from Dobson.......

So how is that different from hell?

[Haole Girl]

19. Now that is funny!

Thank you for that!

[Ian_rd]

57. Maybe Dobson will shower naked with Haggard to cure him?

"The boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."

- Dr. Nicolosi, quoted by Dobson as a means to cure the gay

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/James_Dobson

:spray:

[progressivebydesign]

68. "just like his, only bigger" That is killing me!!!

Dobson is a freak. I can't imagine anyone taking that nut seriously.... do you think he gets off knowing that people are reading all about his "bigger penis"?

[saigon68]

81. Dobson is a Pervert

he is like the Chimp

HE NEEDS VIOLENCE TO OBTAIN AROUSAL

LOL

[0007]

28. Perhaps Dobson has a few issues himself?

Now that would be real torture

[Lindacooks]

32. I think he does - he looks very, very repressed.

After all, the most blatant homophobes are closeted. They hate themselves, and it shows.

[Rambis]

59. I agree 100%

I have a friend who lives in the Springs and we talk about how we think Dobson is gay. He doth protest too much.

[AlCzervik]

2. Ted-keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Dobson is your enemy.

[spag68]

3. How can this be anything but a disaster????

[MichiganVote]

4. Probably just wants some meth too

[klook]

76. My thought exactly! (n/t)

[marylanddem]

5. So Dobson will try to talk Haggard out of being gay?

Strange times we're living in, folks.

[Thor_MN]

8. Look for the bright side, Haggard may illuminate that Dobson's an asshole

[rodeodance]

42. you betcha!

[flordehinojos]

56. Dobson will surely try.

Many of these Christian Pastors believe that their Christian Counseling can, "cure " homosexuality...

but, as a gay supervisor once told me, "they may be able to help a person not to act on their attraction to a same sex person ... but stop it, cure it ... they are delusional!

[MotorCityMan]

64. Exactly...

You can change behavior, not your orientation...

[flordehinojos]

71. these christian counselors however believe that they can change orientation.

[truthpusher]

6. Counseling him with big-wet-kisses!

[Nostradammit]

7. Is he going to show him his penis?

In the shower, maybe?

[gumby]

13. Yeppers !!!

That's Dobson's prescription for how to turn boys into men. Take 'em in the shower and show 'em your penis.

excuse me for screaming, but WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

[Blue Gardener]

39. Are you serious?

That's disgusting. What a perv.

[IndianaGreen]

23. "Eat this! This is my body!"

Nothing like a good Bible verse before a Focus on the Family massage.

[izzybeans]

50. Remind me to get a new keyboard next time I'm at the store.

:rofl:

[progressivebydesign]

67. OMG... thank god I wasn't drinking anything when I read that! n/t

[Frank Cannon]

37. LOL! I was wondering the same thing!

Hey, if showering with a kid and showing him your penis will keep him from being gay, maybe it can have a retroactive effect.

On the other hand, if Dobson were to soap up his penis in the shower with Haggard, that might also put the guy off of any type of sex whatsoever.

[NashVegas]

47. I'll Bet Jimmy's Really Looking Forward to That

...

[LibDemAlways]

55. It is my fervent hope that someday some rw nutcase will

take Dobson's advice and do the shower bit with his kid. The next day in school kid mentions the show-and-tell session to a teacher who, in turn, calls the cops as the law requires. Daddy is then led away in handcuffs declaring "You don't understand. James Dobson told me to do this. I'm just focusing on my family..." LOL

[EST]

9. A bit of scriptural lesson would perhaps be in order:

"If the blind lead the blind, they both fall in the ditch."

[rodeodance]

10. the ditch may be good place for them.

[EST]

15. I don't seem to be able to select between the nasty thoughts

that the ditch and the creepy criminal cabal combination bring up.

I have never so thoroughly disliked and been so consumately disgusted by any one group before in my life.

[Judi Lynn]

79. Verily!

[CrazyOrangeCat]

11. These people are totally insane.

[anitar1]

35. This all started years ago when Raygun closed

the mental facilities in Calif. and turned them out on the streets.

[Maraya1969]

45. Those poor people have an actual mental diagnosis. These ones are just crazy.

[TOhioLiberal]

12. Why does the phrase...

...'you can either be a part of the problem, or part of the solution, but not both' come to mind?

[chieftain]

14. Haggard will be in the clutches of "Dare to Discipline" Dobson.

Things I have read about Dobson indicate a streak of cruelty of profound proportions in the man. I feel no sympathy for Haggard but have to think that the notion of his "restoration" under the tutelage of a creep like Dobson is exemplary of how twisted and dysfunctional these people really are.

[Cass]

16. Ok, Haggard needs help with his meth problem but from a legitimate counselor not Dobson or any other

religious whack jobs. He also needs help in accepting that he is gay or bisexual. I don't foresee this as ending well for Haggard, his wife or his children.

[Maat]

17. I was going to add something ..

but you DUers have said it all - and it was well-put!

[UTUSN]

18. Ha-HAH!!!1 To get phone numbers?????? n/t

[barb162]

20. I'm not hearing much of anything about his wife and five kids

They need counseling after living with that hypocrite

[alcibiades_mystery]

21. Cocksucking Session Imminent!

:rofl:

[marmar]

22. Emoticons can express what words can't.....

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

[pearl]

24. What a disgusting idea

Dobson is a FREAK!

[Sadie5]

25. Seems like I remember

something about Dobson getting caught hiring a prostitute or something like that. His excuse was that he was 'counseling' the guy.Correct me if I am wrong.

[daleo]

26. Probably doing meth and having massages together

Dobson will throw in some lessons in puppy beating.

[aaronbees]

27. Restoration? LOL

This is the blind leading the blind.

[Neshanic]

46. King James version....The book of "Re-boot".

"and so it shall come to be known to the sodomites that the Lord has given you re-bootedness, a restoration of the sexual hard drive"...

[LiberalFighter]

29. Dobson probably part of the cause

[truthisfreedom]

30. dude is a john and a junkie... he needs treatment and jail time.

counseling my ass.

[NVMojo]

31. he's probably going to beat on Haggard's peepee with a rod! He loves

beating on kids.

[jdadd]

33. Dobson will try a new type of baptism

Waterboarding.....Tortured straight!!

[colorado_ufo]

34. Not sure if this will work . . .

He doesn't seem like Ted's type of guy.

[krispos42]

36. 1-on-1, or 'group'? Bow-chika-BOW-bow....

Stick and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me!

[boobooday]

38. I recommend intense massage therapy

And lots of Nyquil.

Why do I get the feeling the cure will be worse than the disease?

[TomClash]

40. Just trading one d--k for another nt

[crikkett]

41. I see it's a "male escort" and not a hooker, whore, or prostitute.

THOSE terms are reserved for the wimmins.
:grr:

[mom cat]

43. Isn't that special!

[Neshanic]

44. As Dobson enters Haggards bedroom in his Puritan garb

he can see his breath clearly. The room is decorated with posters of body builders on the walls and over the headboard a large personally signed one from Arnold. He knows this will be difficult. The Demon of Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrell have left their marks as furniture in the room.

His patient now lays on the bed, a flat screen opposite running continuous loops of old Steve Reeves gladiator movies.

Dobson kneels down and pulls a CD of "The Passion Of The Crotch" from his bag.

"Damn she-woman wife gave me the wrong bag!"

[Canuckistanian]

48. Wow, talk about an orgy of repression and denial

They'll probably spend their time beating each other with riding crops and watching gay porn for "therapeutic" reasons.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

49. I'm waiting for Phillips' family to protest Haggard's church.

now, that would be something to see.

[customerserviceguy]

51. "Rehab" for fundies

If you want to go back to taking the money of the sheep, you need to be sanitized by somebody bigger who's not been caught yet. Ted's just gotta tithe 10% of the income to Dobson, that's all it's gonna cost him.

Damn freaking fundies who buy their salvation on TV just like cheap shit costume jewelry on QVC...

[Javaman]

52. Pot. Kettle. Black. nt

[BlueEyedSon]

53. Break out the condoms, KY and Meth...it's party time with Dobson!

[ItsTheMediaStupid]

54. Let the Fundy-Rehab begin, it'll go something like this:

First, he'll be disciplined and set straight by Dr. Dobson. Will Dobson be using leather and whips? Perhaps Dobson will throw in a little bondage to go with the discipline.

Then he'll go on the road with one of these Jesus Cured Me of Homosexuality! shows.

Finally, if he doesn't hook up with some cute guy on the road, he'll be allowed to start fleecing his flock again.

Otherwise, Lather, rinse, repeat...

[Marie26]

58. I'm starting to feel bad for him.

DOBSON? So that Haggard can be brainwashed for years about how he's going to hell, etc.? He just needs to accept who he is.

[KansDem]

60. This is all well and good, however, what about the meth purchase?

And what about the solicitation of a prostitute?

Haggard broke some laws here, so when does he go to jail?

[hootinholler]

61. Will he show him his penis?

Like he advocates for male children?

-Hoot

[warrens]

62. Dobson: I hear he puts out! nt

[ozymandius]

63. Just one more repressed fundie and they can have a circle jerk. n/t

[superconnected]

65. great so Dobson and Haggard can bash gays together

while denying Haggard is one, or at least has strong homosexual tendencies.

Wonder if Dobson is also a repressed gay. I wouldn't doubt it by his fear of gays.

[progressivebydesign]

66. Oh God! It's that crazy religious "de-programming"!!

Like those frightening 'stop being gay' facilities where they badger you to deny who you really are. If Haggard hadn't preyed upon thousands of people, living like a king on their money while lying through his teeth, I'd be concerned that he'd kill himself. But right now... I don't really care.

[stepnw1f]

69. From One Brainwasher to Another

"pretend you aren't gay....stay in the closet or I too may have to come out of mine!"

[VegasWolf]

70. Haggard, "I'm cured!!! Cured!! Thank the Lord, never again will I put a

penis in my mouth!! The good Lord has showeth the lighteth!!"

[Chovexani]

72. LOL, "counseling"

Jimmy just wants a hookup. Clearly Ted knows how to get the good shit.

[AngryAmish]

73. Dobson is going to shove his erect penis into Haggard's rectum

Just to show him, in no uncertain terms, how much he disapproved of his behavior.

[bpeale]

74. i feel relieved

that just makes my day to know this. you can't change a gay to a straight no matter how many years you spend trying.

[Blue_Tires]

75. nothing wrong with a manly man providing needed 'counsel' to another!

[Jose Diablo]

77. Well, Dobson wants a piece of the action too n/t

[Divine Discontent]

80. oh BARF!

you're bad! lol...



www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable <<-- antibush prodem stickers/shirts

[No Exit]

78. "Focus on the Fellatio"

[B3Nut]

82. HA!

BWAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!

:spray:

Todd in Beerbratistan

[Anakin Skywalker]

83. A Loser Counseling Another Loser!

[WhiteTara]

84. counseling in how to not get caught?

Dobson has lots to answer for; I wonder who will counsel him when the cops come for him?

[soothsayer]

85. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[madrchsod]

86. sorry to report dobson

had to "back out" of his "counseling duties" because he didn`t have the "time to complete" his "healing"...he must have heard footsteps