Obama apologizes for calling reporter 'sweetie'

[TacticalPeek]

Source: Detriot Free Press


Obama apologizes for calling reporter 'sweetie'

By KATHLEEN GRAY • FREE PRESS • May 14, 2008

(snip)

Sen. Barack Obama, who is inching closer to the Democratic nomination for president, off-handedly called a Detroit television reporter “Sweetie” during a visit to Chrysler’s Sterling Stamping Plant after she hurled a question at him — during his tour of the plant — “Senator, what are you going to do to help American autoworkers.”

The item got picked up by the national media and the film, which shows Obama saying “Hold on one second sweetie, we’ll do a press avail,” to WXYZ-TV reporter Peggy Agar, is playing on YouTube.

Several hours later, Obama left a message on Agar’s cell phone, apologizing for the slight,

“It’s a bad habit of mine,” he said in the voicemail, which is on the television’s Web site. “I mean no disrespect, so I am duly chastened on that front.”



Read more: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080514/NEWS07/80514084

---

Note: this was posted today (within the last 24 hrs) at a major US news organization, the Detroit Free Press, and concerns a major national candidate apologizing for his action.

[Elspeth]

1. IBTL

:D

[jefferson_dem]

2. Another class act by our next President.

How refreshing...

[Elspeth]

3. Nah, he just got caught.

He had to say something.

[jefferson_dem]

5. He didn't have to but he did.

Has "what's her name" apologized for her chimpy-loving war dance in 2002-3 yet?

[Elspeth]

12. No, he had to. Many female supporters of Clinton are aghast at the misogyny during this primary

and Obama's "habit" of demeaning speech might be enough to alienate their vote. Scary thought for the Obama camp, especially as his poll numbers against McCain are not as high as Clinton's. So Barak had to apologize or risk a good portion of the Democratic base, which is women.

Someone should have coached him before he opened his mouth. Bad PR management on the part of his campaign.

[silverojo]

26. What the hell's demeaning about "sweetie"?

Now, if he'd called her "bitch", or even used "sweetie" in a sarcastic tone indicating he MEANT to say "bitch"....Obama clearly wasn't using the word in a condescending sense. People must really be scraping to find dirt on the guy, if this constitutes a "scandal".

[heliarc]

30. I think that the problem with "sweetie"

and "honey" is that they are used in the diminutive... as if talking down to someone or informalizing what may in fact be a formal discussion as if speaking to a child. He doesn't say that to the males he comes in contact with and so it is viewed as sexist.

I think you're right though... I think that there are very affectionate and warm ways of saying "sweetie" between people who have some common ground, and I'm guessing that he uses it to affectionately try to bring the people he talks to closer... I would guess it is welcomed by a lot of people he talks to or else it wouldn't be a habit... not everyone is a feminist and many still think its nice to be spoken to this way, but it is true that he has to hold himself to a standard that treats women with the respect they deserve.

[Elspeth]

34. Exactly. But diminutive expressions are not professional & are demeaning in a professional context

It's sort of as if Ted Kennedy called Barack "boy"--not as racially charged, but along the same lines.

[treestar]

98. Maybe so, maybe not

The tone and the context determine it.

[NashVegas]

140. I Saw the Footage

He was dismissing her.

[Patchuli]

50. I don't feel demeaned by that at all...

I like to be babytalked! *wink*

Besides, some men use it in an oh-so-charming way! They simply find women sweet and I don't think there's anything demeaning about that.

[BearSquirrel2]

110. It's personalizing ...

It's personalizing and it's better than "Hey lady!!!". I never get upset when some southern waitress calls me "sugar".

[Elspeth]

35. Silver, you gotta lot to learn. I'll assume you're a younger sort and cut ya a break

That ok with you?

[Patchuli]

53. I agree with Silver. "Sweetie isn't 'bitch'

and you guys are over-reacting and as I stated in another post, it's convenient to seize on this tidbit of trivia. The gentleman apologized although I don't think it was demeaning at all. And yes, I am a feminist and have been since the age of 16. I am 53 years young. Some seasoned feminists don't sweat the petty...

[Tangerine LaBamba]

61. Mountain, molehill, where does it end?

I think it's nice that he called her "sweetie." It suggests how comfortable he felt with himself, his position, and with her. I call people, men and women, boys and girls, "sweetie," "honey," "baby," all the time. It's a term of friendliness and affection. I've certainly never had anyone take offense at it.

This PC silliness goes too far.

I was born a feminist, thanks to enlightened parents who didn't buy into the status quo of females, I'm older than you, and I thank you for injecting some sanity into this nonsense.

[October]

156. I understand your point, but consider

I call my daughter's and son's friends "Sweetie" quite often. I am very fond of them.

However -- I never call someone "Sweetie" who just put me on the "defensive" with a tough question. That can be condescending. And it is often used that way by a lot of men.

[Megahurtz]

145. Over-reacting is right! n/t

[Lautremont]

71. It's a good thing you never use diminutive or condescending language.

Otherwise, you'd seem like a bit of a hypocrite!

[Megahurtz]

144. I think the Oldsters are the ones

That need to lighten up a bit. Sorry but seriously!

:think:

[JoFerret]

45. The fact you can't see that it can be (demeaning)

is quite revealing.

Don't know what Obama means/intends by his use of it. But I can assure you it does offend (many).

[Blaq Dem]

74. Maybe he really misses his wife...

...unlike Bill Clinton.

[JoFerret]

91. What's the point there?

(other than to make a gratuitously unpleasant remark about Bill Clinton?)

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

77. people act as if he voted for the Iraq war! Or that he lied about sniper fire!

he is on the campaign trail 24 7 and the media is everywhere he
goes, stuck up his butt.

[JoFerret]

92. Are you saying then that it was just a "misstep"

and that you see it is demeaning?

[Egnever]

80. Maybe he is used to saying it to his kids and it just slipped out.

I find myself calling grown people babe every now and then out of habit with my thre year old.


No matter what its certainly a tempest in a teapot. Dont we have more important stuff to focus on?

[elias7]

104. That's me, too

Never used terms of endearment like sweetie until my daughter was born 2 1/2 years ago. But I find myself slipping and saying it to my wife, my step-daughter...Even once slipped up at work.

It's amusing, that's all...

[JoFerret]

130. By our words

...we are so often betrayed.

The habit of calling women "sweetie' is not a good one.
Re-programming needed (imo).

[Megahurtz]

146. Oh Please!

I'm a Woman and I take it as a compliment! I bet I'm not the only one.

[JoFerret]

155. I bet you are not either.

Doesn't invalidate the very different experience of others.

[Tunkamerica]

57. women call me sweetie and honey all the time, and i'm male

i don't see the misogyny

[Patchuli]

75. Exactly! It's a term of endearment

and if this world could learn to share a lot more love amongst ourselves, we'd all be a hell of a lot better off! Thank you for your viewpoint....sweetie! hehehehee Sorry! Couldn't help myself... :grouphug:

[October]

157. OK, Sweetie. Do you like when strangers call you that?

:)

I just think it's odd that it came in response to a "tough" question. It's not like he's been accidentally calling people "Sweetie" all year long or anything. It's telling.




On Edit: Just to be clear. I was teasing with the subject line.

[Patchuli]

158. Actually, yes I do! ;-}

It means I already have an upper hand. I'm smart and 'sweet.' I can use it to my advantage, male or female.

Truthfully however, I think much more is made of it than requires. Now a hand on my ass *is* unacceptable!

Maybe he needed a moment to regroup a response and that just popped out. But I think the fact that he called her personally and apologized was pretty 'sweet!'

[Tunkamerica]

160. It's only strangers that do it.

maybe it's a southern thing, but it doesn't bother me and I've talked to a few men and women around here about it and they don't get it either. It's so common for a woman to call me sweetie or hon or baby or darlin' that it doesn't even register. I guess there could be a tone you said it in that could imply something, but I heard the tape and his tone of voice was fine. He said in his call to her that it's a bad habit of his. I wouldn't even say it was bad, except that obviously some people have a problem with it. It seems pretty benign to me. Is this the best thing they've got? Pretty insubstantial if you ask me.

[5thGenDemocrat]

132. I like it when I'm called "honey" and/or "sweetie"

I know I call women "dear" all the time. Maybe someone doesn't like it or would take offense, but I've never been called on it. I still open doors and pull out chairs for women, too. Treating someone as an equal doesn't mean forsaking a few social niceties. And most women like it just fine -- in fact, my mom sort of insisted on it.
John
As a (thankfully retired) journalist, I note that while this minor gaffe is today's Big Deal in the media, McCrazy called his wife that onerous "c" word in front of any number of witnesses and the story was pretty much buried. I would have hoped that our guardians in the corporate owned-and-operated Fourth Estate would show some sort of -- um -- objectivity, but you'd have a better chance of getting chicken salad from chicken shit.

[Megahurtz]

133. Me too.

I think that people that are offended by it are....well....they need to get the chip off their shoulder. Being offended by it is completely beyond ridiculous.

I take it as a compliment. :)

[Scout]

115. don't use terms of endearment for people to whom you are not endeared

seems pretty simple to me...

[Megahurtz]

142. Nothing is demeaning about it.

Some people have a frickin' chip on their shoulder for every word that comes out of a person's mouth. Ridiculous. :eyes:

[marshall]

154. The same thing that would be wrong if someone called Obama "boy"

It is considered insensitive in such a public situation, regardless of how much affection is attached to it.

[tidy_bowl]

165. You really can't be serious....

.....men have been sued for sexual harassment for saying less as well as they should be. A demeaning term is a demeaning term. He shouldn't have said such a sexist thing.

[heliarc]

28. "misogyny"

I know I'm going to stick my neck out by saying this , but I really honestly would like to know... what besides calling someone affectionately (if diminutively) "sweetie" was misogynist about the Obama campaign. I certainly heard a lot of male chauvenism from the peanut gallery which I find plenty of around DU from time to time, but was there anything coming out of the Campaign itself?

on a separate note, I wonder how this could be as bad for the Obama campaign as the Gennifer flowers/Paula Jones/Carolyn Moffit issues were for Bill Clinton except that his main opponent is a woman, which immediately puts a statement like this center stage.

It's amazing how much has changed. I don't remember news being even nearly as quickly disseminated in the years of the Clinton Gore Campaign. I wonder if a story this microcosmic would have even made it to us.

I think it's the sign of an honest statesman that he apologized directly to the reporter. Good move in my book.

[Elspeth]

37. The entire tenor of the campaign has been woman bashing from the get go.

"Sweetie" is small potatoes in a very large stew of anti-woman nastiness, mostly coming from Barack's supporters. I don't know how Barack feels personally, but in the same way I say "Jesus, save me from your followers," I say "Barack, your followers are hurting you, dude, especially among women above college age."

Democratic women are a key component in elections and Barack cannot afford to squander their good-will. He's got a lot of clean-up work to do.

Remember, for progressives, there is another African American running: Cynthia McKinney (on the Green ticket). She has more experience than Barack and is more progressive. She's already been a target of the right wing spin machine and knows what she is dealing with.

Not that I am leaving this party this time around--McCain is just too fucking scary as president. But if the wounds of this election don't heal, professional women, working mothers, Democratic soccer moms and the money that these women donate to the party might end up leaving it. It will take the college girls about 2 or 3 election cycles to earn the kind of money that the 35-65 women do.

Barack needs to be very careful. Anything he can do to heal the rift his followers have created is a good thing.

[Berry Cool]

64. I am a woman above college age, and I have no problems with his followers.

Of course, I am one of them.

[Elspeth]

69. Which may lead to some rose colored glasses

Their behavior has not gone unnoticed. And it will affect how some women vote.

[JoFerret]

93. We may have to wait a few years for the

third wave.

[heliarc]

89. I think you are right about some supporters.

And I've seen a lot of male chauvenism here on DU related to other things (though sometimes directed at Hillary Clinton)... Most notably, I felt that reactions to Anna Nicole Smith's seeking just settlement for her will was met with very misogynistic responses from men on this website. Some very ugly comments about this and her death seemed misogynistic in the real and violent sense. I think also that the tactics used by Hillary Clinton --appealing to the hawkish anti-Iran crowd-- was insensitively criticized by many on this website as somehow being all about compensating for her gender without considering what might be calculated strategic maneuvering to capture a broad swath of the American South (a strategy that I think was flawed).

But that aside, I have to say that I've seen quite a lot of ugly talk from Hillary supporters. Accusing Barack of being Muslim and then not explaining that there's nothing particularly wrong with being Muslim... There's a whole host of Hillary Clinton supporters who have called for Barack Obama to be "hanged" which I think is particularly offensive.

And frankly I haven't seen any sign that Obama is championing this sort of behaviour on the part of his supporters. Hillary has. "He's not a muslim, as far as I know" she said on 60 minutes which seems a wink to the supporters of hers in W. Virginia who seem to be convinced that he's lying when he says he's Christian. Bill has said in her staid that Jesse Jackson won S. Carolina... in order to diminish his win. A move which plays directly into the pocket of white southerners who are harboring deep seated racial prejudices. She has disingenuously attacked him for being supported by ex member of the weathermen Bill Ayers (who Bill Clinton pardoned) by accusing the Weathermen of "killing people" (they only killed themselves by accident)...

So she has effectively, accused Obama of being a Muslim (which shouldn't be a problem... but it is to the racist south), and Black (which shouldn't be a problem... because we've been over this before, all are created equal)... and she accused him of being a radical (even though her husband pardoned the radical who now works within the system to affect change)...

I encourage you to see what some hillary's supporters sound like at the Real News.

http://therealnews.com/web/index.php?thisdataswitch=0&thisid=1507&thisview=item&renewx=2008-05-14+17%3A19%3A41

They have been just as ugly as some obama supporters... and in some cases more.

I agree that there has been misogyny from some Obama supporters, but I don't hold that against the candidate. At least I haven't seen him encourage it. I think there are serious and grave instances where Hillary Clinton has fomented fears in her supporters. Only today did she finally say openly that Obama would be better than McCain... before she even had the gall to argue that McCain was a better choice.

I was a Hillary Supporter until she all but endorsed McCain. Then statement after statement of hers just seemed too overboard for a democrat that wasn't a part of the Jim Crow south.

[np33]

141. I don't really see where your coming from

"Sweetie" is small potatoes in a very large stew of anti-woman nastiness, mostly coming from Barack's supporters. I don't know how Barack feels personally, but in the same way I say "Jesus, save me from your followers," I say "Barack, your followers are hurting you, dude, especially among women above college age."

Could you cite examples and hasn't the Clinton campaign had a tinge of racism associated with it?

"Democratic women are a key component in elections and Barack cannot afford to squander their good-will. He's got a lot of clean-up work to do."

Why because he's beating Hilary in the Primaries? Please could you bring examples to the table where Obama has said or done something that could be alienating female voters?

"Remember, for progressives, there is another African American running: Cynthia McKinney (on the Green ticket). She has more experience than Barack and is more progressive. She's already been a target of the right wing spin machine and knows what she is dealing with."

Why the linkage to Cynthia McKinney I don't see what purpose she serves to this discussion of course there are more progressive candidates out there however the American Political machine is not ready to take on a true progressive.

"Not that I am leaving this party this time around--McCain is just too fucking scary as president. But if the wounds of this election don't heal, professional women, working mothers, Democratic soccer moms and the money that these women donate to the party might end up leaving it. It will take the college girls about 2 or 3 election cycles to earn the kind of money that the 35-65 women do."

No offense but this just sounds like sour grapes over Hilary what wounds have been opened here other then Hilary being on a losing battle with Obama.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

78. Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four

Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four
May 8, 2008 | Issue 44•19

NEW YORK—After Sen. Barack Obama's comments last week about what he typically eats for dinner were criticized by Sen. Hillary Clinton as being offensive to both herself and the American voters, the number of acceptable phrases presidential candidates can now say are officially down to four. "At the beginning of 2007 there were 38 things candidates could mention in public that wouldn't be considered damaging to their campaigns, but now they are mostly limited to 'Thank you all for coming,' and 'God bless America,'" ABC News chief Washington correspondent George Stephanopoulos said on Sunday's episode of This Week. "There would still be five phrases available to the candidates if the Obama camp hadn't accused Clinton of saying 'Glad to be here' with a little tinge of sarcasm during a stump speech in North Carolina." As of press time, the two additional phrases still considered appropriate for candidates are the often-quoted "These pancakes are great," and "Death to the infidels."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/number_of_acceptable_things

[Megahurtz]

147. It's become THAT FUCKING STUPID.

Seriously.

Great post.

Sorry for the caps but my patience is thin!

[MilesColtrane]

109. His opponent is a woman. He is trying to defeat her. Ergo he is a misogynist.

:eyes:

[heliarc]

121. Yeah...

I too think that it simply follows that his sensitivity to women's concerns and issues is front and center because of Hillary. Not a bad thing especially. Not sure I'd go so far as to call it "misogyny". I don't see any indication that he "hates" women. Things like this would not be quite as big an issue I think if it was two men running and there's a certain shame in that too... but if you watch the video I think you can see why the reporter felt snubbed. I hope he answered her question about the workers too.

[np33]

143. Ding! Ding!

WE HAVE A WINNER!

[RBInMaine]

40. People need to just lighten up for Christ sake. Is this an issue when kids are dying in Iraq?

[Megahurtz]

148. No shit!

:banghead:

[truthisfreedom]

42. He should have been coached long ago to say "miss" instead of "sweetie" every time.

Although to any girl I know well, I'll call her sweetie every time. It seems like a step up from "miss" to me.

[Patchuli]

51. That's a convenient over-reaction. nt

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

79. Obama blasted for uninspiring voicemail messages

Obama Voicemail Message Not That Inspiring
http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/obama_voicemail_message_not

[Megahurtz]

149. Lol! n/t

[EFerrari]

86. Obama has no "habit" of demeaning speech. He's polling just fine

against McWar and he's risked nothing with Sweetiegate.

Good god.

[grace0418]

99. Oh for crying out loud. I've heard the way Barack calls people sweetie. It's not in

the least demeaning. It's like when a waitress calls you "hon." I've been called sweetie in the affectionate way and in the demeaning way. I can tell the difference by the context and the demeanor of the person saying it.

[coriolis]

114. Well, everyone knows Obama can do no wrong.

:eyes:

[Domingo Moore]

81. Agree. That was the same reason why he gave the speech on race

When the going gets tough, or when he gets caught, he acts.

[Name removed]

135. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[movonne]

17. This is getting so nit-picking..it seems like it is only him...mc cain,

bush make them all the time .. but you wouldn't know it from the media...

[CJCRANE]

122. It's crazy - why don't

Bush's (and McBush's) gaffes fill the airwaves 24/7 ??!!

(There's certainly enough of them).

:shrug:

[AzDar]

43. He's a Sweetie!

;-)

[StarryNite]

48. Yes he is!

And he can call me Sweetie anytime he wants!

[davidinalameda]

4. I called my boss sweetie today

[TomInTib]

11. Me, too...

But then...

I care fiercely for her, all my heart.

[Benhurst]

13. I assume you know your boss. Also I assume your boss is in the

more powerful position. A possible president and a little known reporter are hardly on the same footing.

[heliarc]

20. Is he as close to the press as McCain is in this video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp0iHOk0mEQ

[Benhurst]

44. I don't know; but I doubt it. McCain has been a national firgue for

a very long time.

Eight years of Bush's bullying underlings and members of the press has been eight years too many.

I'm glad Obama apologized.

[nonoxy9]

52. Like, OMG! That was adorable!!! She is, Like, such a sweetie!

:sarcasm:
:puke: :puke:

[Tunkamerica]

62. I'm called sweetie constantly by women

I'm a male. Waitresses, bartenders, hair stylists, random people on the street. I didn't realize how offensive those women were being to me.

[habitual]

97. Me too, I had a job not long ago where a very strong and wonderful

woman was in charge, and she always called everyone she cared for sweetie.

I always appreciated it. :)

[YDogg]

14. pretty much every day I go to my fav sandwich shop i am called sweetie ...

... or honey, or some variation of the above. I chalk it up to friendly banter, even though I don't reciprocate.

:shrug:

[JerseygirlCT]

123. I've slipped and called all sorts of people "honey" or "sweetie"

usually because I'm really, really tired, and because I have good feelings for them.

Inappropriate? Sure! Embarrassing? Almost certainly. But intended to condescend or in any way insult someone - never, ever.

(I have called people that in a condescending way - but only when I'm alone in my car or watching the tv, lol.)

[enki23]

6. boneheaded move on his part

not the end of the world, but not showing the necessary care either.

[TacticalPeek]

7. Video:

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/14/obama-hold-on-sweetie/

[izzie]

8. Read The Onion today to get a fun take on such stuff.

I really got a kick out of it.

[jpertello]

9. Oh My!

If the worst thing President Obama ever does is call a reporter "Sweetie" then we are in for a sweet ride! (I'd love him to call me sweetie);-)

[GoesTo11]

10. Better than McCain's special word

Which we don't use in my house.

[KSinTX]

16. True that!! nt

[Mad_Dem_X]

112. EXACTLY!

At least he doesn't refer to women as...that.

[superconnected]

15. Somehow I'm not offended, and he did appologize...

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

18. I constantly have to be careful not to call women 'Hon'

Even being a Baltimore (i.e. Bawmer) native is not an excuse..

[heliarc]

22. Anywhere below the mainline...

you can't walk a city block without being called "hon" if you're a man or a woman. I used to love that... To this day I think the mainline accent is hot (I know this might not be popular) because of how friendly that is to hear.

But I also understand how some people can get offended by it. Too bad the personability of it is lost on some people.

[bluestateguy]

19. Only PC Thugs are going to whine about such pettiness

This nation is at war. There is a recession, people without health care and people losing their homes.

We don't have time for this horseshit.

[davidthegnome]

24. Amen

You said pretty much what I was thinking. Older women call me "sweetie", or "dear", all the time. So what? It's a term of endearment, not an insult. Now if he'd said something like, "hold on you dumb slut, I'm busy", I could understand why people would be upset.

[Journeyman]

25. Yeah, the outraged are going to have go on without me on this one. . .

too many serious issues concern me this election cycle to get pumped up over the inconsequential.

[Politicalboi]

36. And we just

Found out that Bush is no longer playing golf. :sarcasm:

[frogcycle]

55. roger that!

[Megahurtz]

150. You got it!

:hi:

[la la]

21. I've heard that previously from him--

and I seem to remember posting here about it, as in............

"SWEETIE" wtf?????

[Tangerine LaBamba]

65. Like you never called anyone

"sweetie."

Or SweetieT**t.

heh heh heh

[Inspired]

23. He could call me sweetie any time. What is the big deal anyway?

[mcollier]

29. How Stupid Can We Get

If you bite onto this, your a hopeless idiot.

[Megahurtz]

151. Yup,

"People are smart!" :sarcasm:

[shireen]

82. LOL! i was thinking the same thing. nt

[JoFerret]

131. Not a big deal compared with life and death

However - in the daily fabric of interaction it actually IS a big deal. How come you don't understand that? Where have you been?

[Inspired]

134. I guess I'm not that sensitive to this issue. Being called sweetie?

It wouldn't bother me a bit, especially coming from Obama. Now if McCain called me that...well that is another story!

[JoFerret]

138. Ah!

There you go.

[frog92969]

27. "Sweetie Gate"

OMFG:argh:

[Highway61]

31. Yer kidding me right?

I call my patients that most the time (if they are old it makes them feel good) .....and in 26 years, NO one got pissed off. Give me a break!

[Triana]

32. Oh BIG effing DEAL! He can call me "sweetie" any time he wants...

...is THAT all they can find to nitpick about?


Pffffffffft! If BILL CLINTON did it, would it be news? Probably NOT.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[annabanana]

47. EEK!!. . . . lololol . . . .n/t

[Pastiche423]

38. Well, it's a good thing that I haven't filled in the oval

next to his name on my paper ballot yet! Egads! I could have voted for a man that called a woman sweetie!

For cripe's sake! This is so far below scrapping the bottom of the barrel, they're half way to China. :eyes:

[Lena inRI]

39. JeezLouise. . .

. . .first, Obama is dissed for

"BITTER"

. . . and now it's for saying

"SWEETIE"

. . . make up your minds, will ya!

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[0rganism]

46. He's a "bittersweetie"

If we're going to win in November, we're going to have to do it without the help of the press, that's for damn sure.
:yoiks:

[OhioChick]

41. He Can Call Me "Sweetie."

:)

[Iwillnevergiveup]

49. Maybe he forgot or never knew her name.

Personally, I find the "F" bombs that fly around here a lot more offensive than "sweetie."

[grannylib]

54. He did the right thing; I have a bad habit of calling people of whom

I'm fond "Hon" and with the females in our small office, it's a common thing and nobody has an issue with it - we're all pretty tight, for the most part :-) But the one time I slipped and called one of my male co-workers "Hon" (with absolutely NO adulterous intent) I called him right back and apologized and said I couldn't believe I had done that, and he was laughing and it was all right...
I think it was a slip and he owned up and apologized and it's another non-issue.

[bluebellbaby]

56. As a woman I'm offended, does this not show his attitude towards woman...

I have been called "sweetie" by men who think woman should be "barefoot and pregnant"...it is absolutely degrading and insulting...and me being the outspoken woman I am...I've called them on it...

Or when someone calls me "Honey"...that's just as insulting...like they are talking to a child...

And it's all about SEXISM...men think they are better and superior than woman...

:puke:

[Killy]

58. Uh...yeah.

As a man, I'm offended by your knee-jerk reaction towards the motives of my gender when saying those words.

Protip: Assuming he and the rest of my gender are being sexist for simply saying those words is sexism in and of itself.

Tell you what, I'll stop saying those words (even in a kind manner), if you'll stop assuming that it's sexist when we men say them.

[bluebellbaby]

63. That's a fair deal...yes you are most likely correct

that my reaction is "knee-jerk"...but years of being treated as "something less" by men...leaves me "looking through colored glasses"...so to speak...


It's not the word "Sweetie" Or "Honey" that gets me going...it's how it's said...like you're being patted on the head..."okay little girl run along..."

[Megahurtz]

152. Excellent response!

:applause:

[earthside]

59. As a man I'm offended ...

I have been called "hon" by women who think all men should be "knights in shining armor"... it is absolutely degrading and insulting...and me being the outspoken man I am ... well, I've just taken it in stride because I'm a mature adult

Or when someone calls me "Honey" ... that's just as insulting ... like they are talking to a child ... but I know they are just trying to be friendly

And it's all about not being an idiot!

[bluebellbaby]

66. Are you now being condesending? Implying I'm not mature and that I'm an idiot?

Or am I reading your post wrong?

That's the problem with sexism and racism...it's condesending...no matter who's doing it...then claiming it's just "being friendly"...sounds like doublespeak to me...

[earthside]

70. Yup.

And I don't think my post was just an implication ... I was being pretty direct.

[bluebellbaby]

136. Sexism at it's best...your menial opinion noted

[Tangerine LaBamba]

67. No, it is not SEXISM

If you're going to get het up about a non-issue like this, you're going to be wasting your energy and miss out on the REAL issues that face women today. That the notion that Obama called a woman "sweetie" can be perceived as sexist tells me that you've got a lot to learn about discrimination and the attendant harm.

It's about as offensive as holding a chair for a woman in a restaurant or opening a door for a woman, two habits I personally find quite appealing, and you will not find anyone who's taken on more male discrimination than I. It's a matter of picking your fights, and this kind of nonsense is simply a straw man. Or straw woman, if you prefer.

[bluebellbaby]

137. You may consider it a straw "man or woman"...but it gets to the heart of

Obama's opinion(s) about woman...they are second class citizens...beneath him...as a child...

[Traction311]

90. Oh cut it out

Sweety is a compliment. By him appologizing, well it's just another reason why I don't want him as the party's nominee.

[petronius]

94. I think context and intent would play a role in determining his attitude

The analogy I come up with for men is "son." Even at 37 I've had older guys (not my dad) refer to me as son; sometimes it's a warm, caring, avuncular form of address, and other times it's intended to be condescending and to put me in my place. "Sweetie" would seem to me to be the same (with the added possibility of a sexist underpinning).

Of course, if a woman (or man) has given indications that she (or he) doesn't welcome these terms of endearment, then they shouldn't be used. Obama's mistake was assuming on the fly that a stranger was open to such address; she may not have been and he was right to apologize. IMO, that should end it...

[conflictgirl]

105. I'm a feminist woman and I totally disagree

I call people - of both genders - 'sweetie' and 'hon' quite often. It's not about sexism at all. I usually say it in situations where I'm in a rush and trying to request a favor (like telling someone to wait, for example) and don't want to sound abrupt and unfriendly.

[JerseygirlCT]

125. No, I don't think it does

You're reading into his intent with your experience as the only criteria.

As a woman, I've been called sweetie, too. Usually it's not intended as a put-down. It would truly depend on the situation, the people involved and the relationship. Are you privvy to all those things in this instance?

If not, you're making a big jump. And I think finding insult because you wish to find it.

[Old and In the Way]

60. Much adieu about nothing.

But I guess if you've got nothing else to club him with, "sweetie"-gate will have to do.

[bitchkitty]

68. Damn, I call people sweetie all the time!

Come to think of it, though, it's difficult people much of the time, or someone I don't care for...

[chefgirl]

72. I adore Obama

I really admire and respect this man, and therein lies the determining factor.

Its a grey area, IMO, and up to the woman in the situation to decide if the man was attempting to diminish her in some way.

As a woman in what is largely a mans field, I have to admit that as a rule I get irked when any guy calls me sweetie or babe or honey, etc... when I'm on the job.

At any other time I don't even think twice about it.

In Obama's defense, when you spend just about all day, every day, having questions tossed at you and having to make small talk with a million different people, I can fully understand a small slip like calling someone sweetie. With some people it really is just a habit.

He did call and apologize to her, which is about a 100% more than a lot of men would do, so I think that was the appropriate and adequate response.

Besides, if he's ever looking for someone he can call sweetie, I'll volunteer! :9

-chef-

[nvme]

73. to the lil darlin's out there

did he say sugar tits? No. So obviously if you take issues with "sweetie', then sweetie, those were your issues to begin with. It seems our election of trivialities has not improved one bit. Obama is a Muslim. Obama is a black militant. Now he looks down on women. This is where we are taking where we are going with our country.

As a country we have come to fear Muslims; vicious elements have tried to peg (oops almost typed president) Barack Obama as being one. First of all religion should never play a part in anything to do with our government. Although we do have " In God We Trust" imprinted on our currency, we are not a religious nation. The Obama went to a madrassa story got coverage it was an essential false misleading statement.( I won't waste time trying to prove or disprove it). The implication is that being a Muslim is bad. I denegrates the small minority in this country. It discriminates against Americans who have the right to worship as they please. This was acknowledged in our bill of rights. It lessens who we are.

The story sank further during the Reverend Wright Scandal. For weeks on end every person I encountered was going off on 12 seconds worth of sound bytes. "Did he really say Goddamn?" That was the only thing major news organizations covered. "e shouldn't be elected because of this". This was said to me on numerous occasions. ( Iam vocal about my support.)This story played while the economy sank into the abyss.

So now when asked a question about the Auto-Industry while in the motor city. He says "Hold on Sweetie we will do a press avail". This becomes mysogny. He vigorously supported pro-choice platforms. Yet, he does respect women. Where has our sense gone?

Using a term of endearment of familiarity or any other phrase to personalize, does not make a the problems we face better. The problems this country is faced with is greater than anyones religious beliefs. The church someone attends does not influence their decision making process. Ask George W Bush.
Find better reasons to include or exclude your candidate. Be bigger than the smallness of your passions. The more often we make that choice the better the choice we will have to make.

[Skittles]

76. impulsive, not a big deal

it would only be a big deal to me if he made a habit of it....still, he was right to apologize

[Hekate]

83. My favorite boss ever (may he rest in peace) was a good ol' boy who called my colleague "Toots"

He was head of the department, I was his secretary (or "secatary"), and my colleague was of course another department head's secretary. We were younger then -- she left his office one day shaking her head. "He called me Toots! Can you believe it, he called me Toots!" Even then, with our feminist sensibilities ever so slightly slightly bruised, we had to laugh.

My boss's day to day behavior reflected his reputation as incredibly honest, fair, competent, hardworking, and someone who had grown over time to accept women engineers so thoroughly that he groomed one of them to be his replacement.

As for Senator Obama, I have a feeling that his own wife gave him a slap upside the head for this lapse. And he did the professional and gentlemanly thing by apologizing to the reporter in question. Now every one can just get over it.

But you know, he can call me Sweetie any time. :D

Hekate

[EFerrari]

85. It would be a good thing to have an executive whose worst sin

when he's tired or stressed is to say "sweetie" in the wrong setting. I can live with that. lol

[Hekate]

87. Hear, hear.

:toast:

Hekate

[FrenchieCat]

84. At least he wasn't propositioning an Intern.......

and he did apologize, and didn't lie about it.

I think this issue is closed.

[Zachstar]

88. If honey and sweetie are becoming offensive in this country then I am stunned.

That is 100 percent BS.

I have seen people call each other those terms for all my life and it has NEVER been used in a bad manner. It is practically part of the USA vocabulary.

[treestar]

96. Exactly! I cannot believe this is newsworthy!

Or that it is insulting or a big deal.

Around here, everyone from waitresses to doctors call you "hon." It just shows they are putting a value on your feelings. They mean to put you at your ease, not to be demeaning.

[Nikki Stone1]

95. Message to Obama: Stop making dumb mistakes; we need you to win this thing!

/PSA

[progressoid]

100. The horror! The horror!

[daleo]

101. It is a matter of power relationships

Waitress calls someone sweetie, no big deal.
Boss calls employee sweetie, big deal.
Presidential candidate calls female reporter sweetie, sort of big deal, definitely not smart.

But he acknowledged a mistake and apologized to the appropriate party, which is enough for me.

[Lorien]

107. Agreed. I think if those who are saying that it means nothing

imagined BUSH instead of Obama calling the reporter "sweetie" they would understand why some find the label distasteful in that situation.

[daleo]

163. That's an excellent point

President's have to be careful in how they address people, and I am glad to see that Obama is aware of that. It is odd that many of his supporters are having trouble seeing that in this case.

[Pawel K]

102. Why do you need to apologize for calling someone sweetie? I must have missed something.

[IndyOp]

103. My 2-cents - as in not worth much - this is, in part, a cultural issue...

I have a colleague who teaches in my department at a Big 10 University who calls ALL of her students - male and female, freshmen through senior, of all races - "sweetie" and "honey" and "darling" - and most of them LOVE her.

She uses the same endearments for me and other colleagues. I was driven nuts by this habit of hers initially because it felt to me as if she was just being lazy and not bothering to remember or use my name - as if she was carrying out a power play. The people low in status are expected to know all kinds of details about the lives of people high in status, but not vice versa, so her using an endearment was, to me, a power play that put me down.

In any case, now that I've heard her use these endearments with everyone and now that I know more about who she is as a good person, I don't mind them as much even though they do still give me pause.

She has told me that a few students have complained to her about her habit and that she sees it, in part, as a cultural gap - she is Hispanic - and most of our students are not.

I would bite the head off of a man who used similar endearments. Obama's apology is appropriate and he needs to rid himself of this habit IMMEDIATELY.

[Vidar]

106. Who the hell cares?

[Nihil]

108. I am *SO* glad ...

... that the elections for one of the most powerful leaders in the world
is decided on such important issues!
:eyes:

And still some people wonder why the rest of the world takes the piss
out of Americans ...

:rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

111. Oh, PUH-leeze...

There are worse things he could have called her. At least he apologized.

[Hugh Jardon]

113. disgraceful misogyny! Hilary for president!

[stlsaxman]

116. How refreshing to have a "Step 10" candidate...

for those unfamiliar with the 12 Steps of A.A. here's Step 10-

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

it takes a good long time for someone in recovery to get to the point where they can apply this "step" to daily living. it's taken me quite a while to realize how much easier my life is when i promptly acknowledge and make reparations for my mistakes.

it's wonderful how effortlessly Barak lives the tenets of this step.

[Virginia Dare]

117. He can call me sweetie anytime he wants..

and I'll call him darling, because he is.

[Texano78704]

118. If he were...

from down around these parts... he would have said "sugar" instead, and no one would have said a word about it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

119. meh. i dont think it was really offensive to begin with

[Zuiderelle]

120. I'm sure he didn't mean any offense, but I don't understand his answer. It's "a bad habit" of his?

He always calls women "sweetie?" Is that the habit? That certainly would piss ME off.

[JerseygirlCT]

126. I slip fairly often, and find myself calling people honey or sweetie

I don't know exactly why, except that I do it when I'm tired, and toward people I like. Good feelings slipping out? I'm not sure.

Sure it's not proper, and it often embarrasses me. But it's never, ever done in a condescending way or meant as an insult.

shrug.

[Zuiderelle]

127. Yeah, it does happen, but I'm also not a politician who should be aware of how I come across.

If he's just calling women "sweetie" as a matter of habit, and not men, then he should try to be more careful and stop doing it.

[JerseygirlCT]

128. Absolutely he should. And he knows it, and has apologized.

I cannot imagine how extremely tired he and Clinton are by now, though. I wonder how it compares to the first few months of a baby in the house, lol. I felt like a sleepwalker!

[Zuiderelle]

129. Yes, you're right. It's got to be difficult.

[Haole Girl]

124. He can call me sweetie anytime!

(did I say that out loud?) :blush:

[Megahurtz]

139. Seriously, people are REALLY STUPID for making a Big Deal

about this. This is total nitpicking mindless crap.

Anyone who gets offended at being called "Sweetie" needs to take the chip off their shoulder and get their underwear out of a knot.

Better yet find something constructive to do. You must be too bored. Get some circulation going or something.

Holy shit. :eyes: "People are smart!" :sarcasm:

[abelenkpe]

153. why? nt

[dogfacedboy]

159. Annoying PC nipicking, plain and simple.

[thunderdog]

161. Easy Barack, they are hyper-sensitive out there in lala land.

[dipsydoodle]

162. WTF is there to apologise about ?

It's just a friendly term.

[candice]

164. I thought Edwards was his sweetie!