Teenage Son of Kansas Congressman Dies

[Rose Siding]

WASHINGTON -- The teenage son of Rep. Todd Tiahrt, R-Kan., died Saturday of an apparent suicide at the family's home in Virginia, a spokesman for the congressman said.

Luke Tiahrt, 16, the youngest of three children, would have been a junior this fall at W.T. Woodson High School in Fairfax, Va. The circumstances of his death were not disclosed.

http://www.newsday.com/news/politics/wire/sns-ap-congressmans-son,0,6423085.story?coll=sns-ap-politics-headlines

[TrueAmerican]

1. Is this him?

[tlcandie]

2. Very sad... hard way to loose a child, but any way is a hard way..

Thoughts with this person...

[stepnw1f]

3. Really Sad

When a person see's suicide as the only resort, then somewhere there is a very sad story to tell folks. Maybe the parents weren't listening. Who know's?

[spotbird]

13. That's not how it works, it is a physical illness beyond anyone's

control. To say the parents could have avoided the tragedy misstates the problem, and makes a horrible situation even worse. Not that it was your intention.

[stepnw1f]

32. Chemical Inbalance

I should have made my statement more clear. But I believe in this day and age, parents should notice signs, and get help for the kid. I'm only assuming they didn't.

[Rose Siding]

36. It's not uncommon to make that assumption

But it adds to the stigma associated with suicide/teen suicide that can make it even harder to access help.

Sometimes families who think they have it all together -parents who sincerely believe they've tagged all the bases- live through this nightmare.

[wicket]

4. That's terrible :(

My thoughts are with his family.

[truhavoc]

5. Truly sad, and he went to my fiance's high school as well

[luaneryder]

6. Tragic.

My son was killed by a negligent driver and I know the grief all too well of losing a child. But, to have that kind of a loss compounded with suicide.... My thoughts are with this family.

[Ellen Forradalom]

7. Dreadful.

My heart goes out to that family.

[Rowdyboy]

8. Incredibly sad....

What a total waste. Yet it happens many times a day, all over the country. I've never been able to understand suicide.

[Skittles]

18. do you understand cancer, Rowdyboy?

the worst disease on earth does not kill you, it makes you kill yourself.

[Rowdyboy]

24. Thank God I've never had close experience to cancer...

However, my mom died in 1999 of hepatitis, slowly over a 7-8 year period. She had just turned 65. Now, my partner's mom is dying of lung disease brought on by a lifetime of working in a factory that used asbestos. Her lungs are shit and she gasps for breath when walking to the bathroom.

Slow death by disease is difficult to watch, at any age, but neither woman ever gave up hope. Thats the biggest difference, I think. Depression makes you lose hope and that is nearly inconceivable to me. How can someone like me who has never felt that way begin to understand the torment? How horrible must be the hurt that drives a 16 year old to kill himself? I've experienced mild depression over the years but this child's experience was evidently on a totally different level entirely.

I don't understand AIDS or schizophrenia or racism either, and I've been around all of those. There's so many kinds of pain in the world, and we do so little to alleviate them. Then, with all that natural pain, we seek out more, both for our people and the Iraqis, by waging war in the middle east.

Isn't there enough pain naturally?

[Skittles]

27. you don't understand

I watched my dad suffer from serious depression for years before he took his own life. Depression IS "natural pain" - it is a disease. People don't "give up hope" - their brain chemistry doesn't allow them to see options. It's a black hole that they sometimes cannot recover from. Yes there is treatment but like with cancer, if they don't get it they will die - or live a life of utter hell.

[Rowdyboy]

28. I do try to understand, I just worded my answer poorly...

I do understand that it is a disease, generally caused by a chemical imbalance and certainly natural. I really understand they don't voluntarily "give up hope". That much I can understand intellectually. My choice of words sucked but thats nothing new.

But I will honestly admit that I can't fully comprehend profound depression or suicide. I've never experienced it in any family members or friends. I can only try to relate it to the kinds of pain I've experienced.

But I am truly sorry for your family and this child's. That kind of trauma must be nightmarish for everyone involved.

[Skittles]

44. you're cool

I think it's OK to acknowledge you cannot comprehend suicide; it's those people that call victims of severe depression "cowards" that drive me insane. Yes, it's a nightmare; my dad has been gone almost 20 years and to this day I cannot ever think of him without remembering how he died.

[Rowdyboy]

49. Calling victims of severe depression "cowards" makes about as much

sense as calling victims of Alzheimer's "stubborn and uncooperative", and "deliberately hard to get along with"-I've heard both of those from idiot relatives...

[depakid]

54. Often it's not the severe depression but the rebound from it

that's dangerous.

Clinically depressed patients have suicidal thoughts, but the physiological symptoms (e.g., low energy, apathy, listlessness) often prevent them from acting on their impulses. Once they've "recovered" their initiative, their mindframe sometimes lags behind- giving them the present ability to act on their plans.

This is why (according to some authorities) that historical data show unequivocally that suicides peak in the spring and summer months- both in the Northern AND the Summer hemispheres. This also corresponds to hospital admissions for mania (late Spring and early Summer) and Schizophrenia (Summer).

[TexasBushwhacker]

57. That's true - they get just enough energy to follow through

with their plans. Having lost a friend with a history of depression to suicide just a few months ago, I will say this. Anyone who is struggling with depression or has a family member who is should really think twice before having a firearm in their home. Guns make suicide far too easy. Obviously if someone is really determined to kill themselves, they will find a way. But suicide, particularly in young people, can often be an impulsive act, and having guns in the house when you have a troubled teen is just a tragedy waiting to happen. More kill themselves with guns every year than kill other people, and that's counting justifiable homicides and accidents.

[stevedeshazer]

9. My thoughts to the family

My son is 16 and will be a high school junior. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose him.

[Name removed]

10. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[SalParadise]

11. Moron.

Someone HAD to go & blame his father's politics for this.

Losing a kid like this is TERRIBLE - only an asshole would politicize it.

[Name removed]

12. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[LittleApple81]

14. Your statement has no bases in fact. Many excellent democratic parents

have lost their children to suicide. Please do not use personal tragedy to link it to politics. It is not necessary or constructive.

[DrWeird]

46. Well, it is the second time recently....

that the teenage son of a blatantly homophobic republican congressman has committ suicide.

Kind of makes you think.

[Baltimoreboy]

53. Actually, all seems to do for some is posture

And make unfair claims about parents.

Even going by the questionable stats quoted here, two out of three teen suicides are not reported to be related to sexual orientation.

[Fridays Child]

15. Todd Tiahrt co-sponsored the FMA, voted in favor of banning...

...gay adoptions in DC, and is opposed to extending civil rights to GLBTs. He's also a Christian fundamentalist. If his son was a closeted gay--and as many as a third of male teenage suicides are--the young man had no acceptance, no refuge, in his own home.

Just a thought.

[Baltimoreboy]

17. You are taking wild guesses

There is a HUGE difference between policy and parenting.

[Dookus]

22. it is a guess...

but not a bad one. Teen suicides are disproportionately gay. It's got nothing to do with parenting, in most cases - it's growing up in a culture in which you simply have NO reference points or guideposts for YOU. NOTHING that you've seen corresponds with what you feel inside. From the time you could talk, people asked you about girlfriends and growing up to be a daddy and getting married and a thousand other assumptions about your heterosexuality. And yet NONE of it makes any sense to you, and you dare not even QUESTION the assumptions because they're so universal and so ingrained.

It's a terrible, terrible time in life to be gay.

[Baltimoreboy]

33. The assumption here is that his family would not be receptive

And that has nothing to do with statistics or politics. It is a wild guess. Few parents will turn their backs on their 16-year-old kids.

[Dookus]

41. It's not really about what the family would do

it's what the kid FEARS the family would do. And it's not just the family - it's all of society. A gay teen, especially one in a more rural area, simply doesn't fit in. That kind of isolation can have fatal results. Also, internalized homophobia is a huge factor - the kid's parents may be fine with gay people, but maybe the kid isn't!

And more parents turn their backs on their 16 year old kids than either of us would like to believe.

[Baltimoreboy]

51. No teen fits in

None. Absolutely zero. There are those who do not and know it and those who pretend otherwise.

[sandnsea]

56. So naive

Parents turn their backs on their kids all the time. In all kinds of ways. It's tough to know what this boy's problem was, but I sort of think living in a rigid fundamentalist household didn't help. Probably didn't help Senator Gordon Smith's kid either, who just committed suicide a few months ago. Just goes to show, nobody has the perfect answer to family. That's why people should butt out of other people's families. Each family has a tough enough time figuring out what's right for them.

[Fridays Child]

26. No, I am engaging in educated, thoughtful speculation.

On the other hand, to flatly state that there IS a huge difference between policy and parenting is inaccurate. While that may be true in some cases, it's not true in all, and I suspect not in most.

Regardless, many kids have taken their own lives because the behavior and actions of their most important role models led them to believe that their sexual orientation made them unworthy of love and acceptance. Their desolation, despair, and self-loathing was fatal.

So, whenever a teenaged boy takes his life, I have to wonder if he was gay. The fact that 33% are is just too significant to ignore. And, when you add to that a parent whose anti-gay attitude is apparent in both his private and professional lives, if Luke Tiahrt was closeted, the stage was set for tragedy.

I will take every opportunity to put this issue in front of people, until the day that all children can grow up feeling safe and loved by their families, no matter their sexual orientation.

[yardwork]

30. I'm sad about this and I feel for the parents, no blame here, but

I am also aware that at least one-third of teen suicides have to do with being gay or lesbian and feeling hopeless.

This is not meant as a slam on Republicans or on this boy's family. Plenty of Democrats are also homophobic.

The truth is that until gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people are treated as human beings, and provided with kindness and compassion, we will continue to see a lot of suicides among youth who can't cope wit the realization that their identity is something their families will reject.

It's a cold, harsh world out there for young people who realize that - through no choice of their own - they were born with an identity that is reviled by their family and community.

The House just passed a measure banning equal marriage rights. Is it a coincidence that this child took his life the same week? Maybe not.

If this gets me banned, so be it. It's a matter of life and death, and we need to wake up.

[InkAddict]

42. Certainly, a child left behind somewhere along the line.....

>>It's a cold, harsh world out there for young people who realize that - through no choice of their own - they were born with an identity that is reviled by their family and community.<<

This is true GAY or NOT! Sometimes, one just gets tired of being the scapegoat for all the family dysfunctionality. In all cases of maternal/paternal rejection, it's really difficult to let go of the fact that, through whatever criteria, one was found defective and unworthy of love. It's unlikely that complete trust/intimacy can ever return and it's guaranteed crazymaking until age 18. Bolting the family unit isn't always practical at that point for a young person, but the kid is lucky if the realization comes that his/her mental health requires a long-term separation and is willing to accept the psychic costs that come with that decision. Also, the fear and guilt of repeating the dysfunctionalites can be extremely fracturing.

Also, many teens are quite passionate about their personal "worldview" and haven't yet learned how to balance good and evil, or accept that there are gray areas of life. The world is either all vivid overstimulating colors on a palette for which they have no paintbrush or absolute black/white that leaves them in constant torment.

A final permanent solution is, of course, the saddest of all choices!

[Baltimoreboy]

35. You wonder if he was gay

But even by your own stats you admit that you would be wrong two out of three times. And, even among that other third, being gay can't be the cause or only cause in every case.

[yardwork]

39. I think you misunderstand the statistics.

Data shows that one-third of teen suicides are directly related to the person being gay. It's known because it is revealed in a note, for instance.

Many of the other two-thirds of teen suicides may be associated with being gay, but there is no direct evidence because the poor child never told anybody or left a note.

In any case, one-third is too many to ignore.

We're not saying that we know anything specific about this particular tragedy. We're pointing out the prevalence of teen suicides due to despair over being accepted as GLBT.

It's a public health problem that needs to be addressed. It's a human tragedy that unfolds daily. That's all we're saying.

[Baltimoreboy]

40. Again, bogus statistics

There are about a billion stresses on your average teen. Sexuality is only one of them. Sure, they might mention it in the note. That doesn't make it the only reason.

None of the other two-thirds of teen suicides may be associated with being gay. There is no direct evidence because the poor child never told anybody or left a note.

Yes, it is a public health problem. Yes it is a tragedy. But it is offensive politicing to make a political point over a suicide when you have no specific knowledge that is what happened here.

[xfundy]

48. Who's making it political? Other than you, I mean.

Was this kid queer? Maybe, but who cares, and why is it "political" if he was or wasn't?

Teenage suicide is rampant and growing, and trying to stop it, no matter the cause, isn't "political," it's a national problem.

Gay kids apparently make up 33% of teen suicides. Does that make it "political?" Does that take it out of the "emergency" and "problem" category? And does the other 66% represent our fine, upstanding American citizens, and thus not "political"?

What is your problem? If you want to discount the fact that gay and lesbian people live in this nation, to make them immaterial, you couldn't have done that better than in your post.

[Baltimoreboy]

50. I'm not making any political statements

But the assumptions of the likelihood that this poor boy was gay were not mine.

Teen suicide is a problem. When people start making comments about the possible sexual orientation of someone who just died, then we have gone over the top.

My problem is people trying to make political hay from a tragedy. I saw enough of that in September 2001 thank you very much.

[Taverner]

16. Maybe we at DU should send him a letter of our condolences?

Kind gestures and all...

[0007]

20. We? Please be my quest!

That would be a nice gesture.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

58. the address

This is the press release at his father's website.

The home page provides this address:

[e-mail]

[DiverDave]

19. I'm so sorry to hear this.

And to the idiot, are you trying to give DU a black eye?
I can see it now..."Look at what those guys are saying about it!!!"

Too bad you got deleted...you coulda been a star at your, ahem, home...

[DarbyUSMC]

21. A parent's worst nightmare. So sorry for that family and for Luke to

have taken his own life at sixteen. I remember sixteen. Half heaven; half heartache. Rest in peace Luke.

[roguevalley]

23. no one should outlive their children, especially not this way. I can

imagine the pressure on political kids. Very sad.

[JNelson6563]

25. Truly tragic

:cry: Sad to learn of this.

[Nashyra]

29. If anyone sends a note of sympathy

you can add my name. What a horrible tragedy, my thoughts and prayers go out to his family. I hope he is at last in peace.

[Dookus]

31. same here...

add my name. PM me if you want the details.

No family, regardless of their politics, deserves this kind of pain.

[JustCarbon]

34. hmm

Death always puts stuff in perspective.
A lot of stuff seems kind of petty now, doesnt it?

I wish that somebody could've given that kid a hug.
My heart goes out to their entire family.

[obietiger]

37. How very sad

My sympathy goes out to his family

[GAspnes]

38. There but for the grace of God ...

My heart goes out to his parents. Add me to the 'this transcends party or politics' group.

[depakid]

55. Yes, it does

though party politics do have the ability to either advance or impede understanding....

Sad, but true- and that's no reflection on this particular case.

[liberalmuse]

43. Suicide is the worst thing...

The family wonders what they could have done, and sometimes their friends and neighbors wonder and speculate, too. We can't see inside of another person, and people are very good at hiding things from others because let's face it, a lot of people don't know how to or want to deal with their own demons, nevermind anyone else's. We all learn this at a very young age.

There's just so much pain in the world, and the pain sometimes gets so overwhelming for some that they see no other alternative but to snuff out their own life--but really, it's the pain they want to kill.

I sincerely hope the best for this family because you never get over something like this, but you can somewhat come to terms with it.

[ocean girl]

45. I have lost 6 loved ones to suicide in the last 10 years...

and what I understand now is that ending their life was preferable to the excruciating emotional pain they experienced on a daily basis.

I miss them but I understand.

Peace.

[montana_hazeleyes]

47. I am very sorry to hear this

Thank goodness I've never had to suffer a child dying, but as a teenager my best friend's dad killed himself and as young adults my kids have suffered three suicides of friends. One hung himself for his girlfriend who broke up with him to find.

In every case there was no warning at all. Each person in these cases seemed perfectly normal even the day before.
You just feel so empty and shocked and wonder if only I could have known and done something.

It's so sad. My heart goes out to this young man and his family and friends.

[AlFrankenFan]

52. Oh that is so sad

My condolences to Todd Tiahrt's family :cry: