29. Bill O'Reilly
Host, The O'Reilly Factor
Ah, yes, after two near misses, the sun-blotched king of swing finally makes the list. O'Reilly is the classic lace-curtain Irish boor: thin-skinned, wistful, bloated and delusional, and a whining Miss Nancy to boot. His personality would be a desperately pitiable object if he weren't also the kind of behind-the-scenes suck-up demagogue who will one day be Commissariat of Information and Media Punishment in George Bush's Emergency Third Term. This is a man whose only answer to challenge is girly tantrums, a man who screams down Al Franken when Franken busts him for lying about winning a Peabody Award, who cuts his guests' mics when they disagree with him. He calls his fellow Americans "traitors," "unpatriotic" and "dangerous" when they simply refuse to agree with the president. When O'Reilly suggests that for Valentine's Day we buy each other copies of his lousily written, poorly researched, mendacious tracts, we see a man looking for the love his drunken abusive daddy never provided to the one and only daughter in the family.
28. Lawrence A. Kudlow
Economist, Pundit
The one-time top Bear Stearns/ING economist and copropagandist on CNBC's Kudlow & Cramer wrote cheerily of the economic benefits of invading Iraq: "The shock therapy of decisive war will elevate the stock market by a couple-thousand points," promised the vampire, who by day doubles as CEO of his eponymous midtown consulting firm while also writing a column for National Review. "We will know that our businesses will stay open, that our families will be safe, and that our future will be unlimited." So—our businesses stayed open…because…we…invaded Iraq. The real record since the war—pace Kudlow the Market Impaler—has been millions of jobs lost and a slumping economy. Not to mention the moral nightmare of Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo and what will likely be a decades-long occupation costing billions of dollars that would be better spent on a space program for sending people like Kudlow to another planet on which to play his mass-homicidal version of Monopoly.
19. Tony Danza
Host, The Tony Danza Show
Why did the American Italian Defense Association sue the producers of The Sopranos, saying it denigrates their Italian American culture, whilst not voicing a peep against this monosyllabic, spaghetti-stained perpetrator of more noxious paisan stereotypes than Martin Scorsese? From his "That's a spicy meat-a-ball" delivery to his Italia-centric guest list (anyone who's ever shown their face on The Sopranos, ever), Tony Danza makes us wish our Italian grandmother was Lithuanian. If his last name were McDanza, he'd be doing his show dressed like Lucky the Charm. Black Tony Danza would gobble watermelon; Jewish Tony Danza would spend the hour popping matzoh balls while counting gold coins. Tonester constantly reminds us that the eye-talians are a people known for their love of good food. So it makes sense that eating figures large each "Extrava-Danza." Recovering boozer/homo-hound Liza Minnelli proudly presented her good pal (they watch 24 together religiously) with a pastry billed as the World's Largest Cannoli. Yet in a city clogged with Italian restaurants, who does Danza pick to sponsor his food segments? The Olive Garden. Was Papa Gino's too busy? For that alone, Danza's kneecaps should be introduced to a 34-oz. Louisville Slugger.
18. Ed Koch
Democratic Ex-Mayor
"How'm I doin'?" To our amazement, pretty good, you batty old queen. Koch's rep as Mr. New York has managed to survive and even thrive in the 17 years since the publication of Wayne Barrett and Jack Newfield's devastating City for Sale: Ed Koch and the Betrayal of New York. It's as if the names Meade Esposito, Stanley Friedman and Donald Manes have been scrubbed from history, allowing Koch to pose against an airbrushed legacy and somehow remain an active player even as he publicly descends into the middle stages of senility. The man who still insists on calling himself "Mr. Liberal" has supported local Republicans John Lindsay, Rudy Giuliani, George Pataki, Al D'Amato and Mike Bloomberg. When W. recognized him at a Wall St. event in 2003—"Ed!" Bush yelled, waving—Koch rushed over and declared his fealty to the Bush Doctrine on the spot. Soon, he was going public with this support on Hannity & Colmes. And so Koch was the perfect face for the city's "Make Nice" campaign in the run-up to the RNC this summer. Sadly, none of the prop elephants crushed the ex-mayor under a mountain of shit, thus terminating Mr. Liberal's heartbeat, to say nothing of his painful film reviews in The Villager.
http://www.nypress.com/18/13/news&columns/50most.cfm
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