Don Davis
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Wed May-17-06 01:56 PM
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BUSH DISPATCHES NATIONAL GUARD TO BORDERS BOOKSTORES |
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In an effort to prevent the gravest threat to the survival of the GOP, President Bush has announced that he will send the entire National Guard to Borders bookstores across the nation.
Addressing the country in a prime-time speech, Mr. Bush explained that the only way for him to even maintain his miniscule approval ratings was to ensure that no additional citizens have access to books or other reading material, and thus develop the type of critical thinking that is fatal to Republican domination.
The President also stated that this extraordinary deployment of the National Guard would have a dual benefit: not only will it prevent additional people from becoming educated, but it would effectively seal off and imprison in the bookstores those unpatriotic intellectuals who were already inside.
Mr. Bush also dismissed the concerns of such international watchdog organizations as Amnesty International and the Red Cross, who maintain that for those imprisoned in the bookstores, serious violations of the Geneva Convention will occur once their supply of coffee and cappucino runs out.
However, the President's latest attempt to mollify his base appears to be unsuccessful, since House GOP leaders are demanding that National Guard units also shut down schools, libraries, and the internet, except for the website of Minutemen.com.
In related news, Mr. Bush also reassured the nation that while he will aggressively enforce laws to limit the influx of Mexican landscapers, he has no intention of disturbing our national policy of incurring more foreign debt, and thus effectively selling our entire land to the Chinese.
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louis-t
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Wed May-17-06 02:02 PM
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:rofl: Wait, not funny, NOT FUNNY!
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eppur_se_muova
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Wed May-17-06 02:02 PM
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2. LOL! Had to K&R before the mods find this and move it. |
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...uh, it is satire, right? It's so hard to be sure these days.
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ptolle
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Wed May-17-06 09:30 PM
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17. my first thought, too |
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And with the NSA out there your online orders might be subject to surveillance as well.Especially since, to the best of my knowledge Borders is a significant Democratic contributor as opposed to Amazon who feeds the elephant.
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wtmusic
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Wed May-17-06 02:16 PM
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3. Welcome to DU Don Davis |
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:bounce: :toast: :bounce:
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RandomKoolzip
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Wed May-17-06 03:36 PM
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4. ONE post and you can start your own thread?! |
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WHen the hell did THAT start?! I had to get like 25 posts before I could start my own thread (sure it was back in 2003, but...)
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OKNancy
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Wed May-17-06 05:26 PM
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10. If you donate, you can start threads |
katty
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Wed May-17-06 03:40 PM
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ohtransplant
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Wed May-17-06 04:52 PM
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Will Barnes & Noble be next??? :evilgrin:
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pinto
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Wed May-17-06 05:05 PM
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marmar
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Wed May-17-06 05:10 PM
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8. In another related development.... |
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the NSA is monitoring the activity of all Borders Rewards cardholders. Purchasers of books by Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky, Randall Robinson and Karl Marx, along with the Nation, the Progressive and American Prospect, have been detained indefinitely (or at least until Nov. 8).
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NMMNG
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Thu May-18-06 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
22. I'm probably on their shit list |
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I have subscriptions to The Nation, The Progressive, Mother Jones and Utne Reader and in the last year have purchased books by Zinn, Marx and dozens of other subversive authors.
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told you
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Wed May-17-06 05:13 PM
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.....FUNNY!!!!!:applause:
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OKNancy
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Wed May-17-06 05:27 PM
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11. Welcome to DU. You need to stay around a LOOOONG |
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time. We could use some good humor around here.
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Kadie
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Wed May-17-06 05:57 PM
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That was great!
Welcome to DU Don!
:hi:
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Demeter
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Wed May-17-06 05:32 PM
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12. That's NEXT Week's Press Conference, Don |
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They are going to get you for unauthorized leaking, unless there's something you aren't telling us....
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proud patriot
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Wed May-17-06 06:01 PM
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and thanks for making me laugh :hi:
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LuckyLib
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Wed May-17-06 06:28 PM
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15. LOL! And no Spanish allowed either at Borders. Can't have |
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any furners plotting and scheming!
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The Doctor.
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Wed May-17-06 08:50 PM
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16. Welcome to DU.... I have a feeling you're not a stranger to the 'net' |
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community.
Great to have you here.
The piece was right out of my zaniest nightmares... but that would have been 'cappucino and biscotti'.
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aaronbees
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Wed May-17-06 10:30 PM
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and yet scary; it came on a day when I could use some good chuckles. :)
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MaggieSwanson
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Wed May-17-06 10:37 PM
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:hi:
And thanks for the laugh.
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Don Davis
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Wed May-17-06 10:40 PM
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20. BUSH DISPATCHES NATIONAL GUARD TO BORDERS BOOKSTORES |
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Thanks to everyone for such a warm and enthusiastic welcome.
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eviltwin2525
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Thu May-18-06 03:02 AM
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Ironically, the most serious danger illegal immigrants pose is that all 12 million of them (or, better, 20 million, as the minute-men claim) line up peacefully to be deported tomorrow. Have Isackson and his thugs thought for a second how much it would cost to simply transport 20 million people to more than walking distance south of the border? More than the whole budget of Migra. (Oh, I just kill myself....Rethuglicans thinking....hahahaha....it's too funny.)
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johnhannahthree
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Thu May-18-06 01:13 PM
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Great Post
But I´m guessing there are more BB franchises than individual Guard members not already deployed somewhere.
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Brazenly Liberal
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Thu May-18-06 03:08 PM
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24. Hey, I like the way you think |
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:rofl:
Welcome to DU! :toast:
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Mon May 06th 2024, 08:07 PM
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