NEW YORK TIMES: BILL CLINTON STILL HAS WEAPONS OF SELF- DESTRUCTION

[Don Davis]

In a stunning front page story, The New York Times has strongly implied that Bill Clinton still maintains a dangerous stockpile of "weapons of self-destruction," that pose a grave and immediate danger to the presidential aspirations of his wife, Senator Hillary Clinton.

According to anonymous sources, Bill Clinton is still a threat to utilize his "biological weapon" as a "tool" to personally satisfy his own ambitions. In addition, his capabilities are enhanced by his apparent reliance on chemical weapons as well, including the Viagra that he's been supplied with by black-marketeer Bob Dole.

The Times also cites sources claiming that Mr. Clinton has met on two occasions with Czech supermodel Petra Nemcova, under the pretense of raising funds for tsunami relief.

In addition, Porter Goss, the out-going head of the CIA, has endorsed this intelligence, assuring President Bush that it is a "slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am."

However, there is a lot of skepticism about the accuracy of these reports, since they were apparently leaked by Karl Rove to Judy Miller, who somehow managed to sneak it into the "Paper of Record" for which she no longer works.

Nevertheless, the Times also claims that despite any apparent uncertainty over the "Bubba Threat Assessment," Hillary Clinton is prepared to take pre-emptive action, in order to ensure that her designs on the White House don't go up in a mushroom cloud.

[FreakinDJ]

1. Can't we talk about some thing other then Bill's Dick

Like "Shooter" Dick Cheney - O'l Dead Eye

"Got me one of the pesky vermin lawyers today"

"Should I have him mounted or skinned for a rug"

[Don Davis]

5. Bill Clinton: Weapons of Self-Destruction

Just for the record, this is a parody of the NYT itself, which ran a story about Bill/Hill's personal lives just yesterday, and how the Times is artificailly inflating this whole issue, instead of examining substance.

[FreakinDJ]

7. Figured it was parody

That is why I threw in the “Shooter Dick” jokes. But honestly you have to agree with Randi about all the right wing wack jobs obsessing about who is getting what from whom.

The most sexually frustrated obsessive pervs this country has ever witnessed.

[MrTriumph]

2. Zzzzz

Wake me when something is funny. Zzzz

[texastoast]

3. How boring

And good. I don't want Hillary to run. She can be at times much like the current fuckwad-in-chief.

That said, Big Dawg RULES!

[Virginia Dare]

4. So we're going to make the next election about...

Bill Clinton's sex life? These people have NO fucking imagination. That is SO 1990's.

:eyes:

[lyonn]

6. Chris Matthews last evening couldn't get off the Clinton

marriage issue. It seemed his guests were hard pressed to find anything of value to fantasize on over Chris' fixation with the Clinton marriage. Chris even stated that he wouldn't want to spend a couple of nights a week away from his wife?? That guy is such an ick, guess he has got to keep a close eye on his wife??

[bpj1962]

8. Kathleen Matthews

Chris Matthews wife is a local achorwomen in DC. She is nothing special so unless Chris can't keep her satisfied then I have no idea why he can't stand to spend a night without her.