The Idiot's Guide to Great Britain (for Dubya) -- Daily Mirror (UK)

[Vitruvius]

That's this itty bitty country due east of the States where folks talk kinda weird, Mr President

By Ruki Sayid And Damien Fletcher

1, LONDON is the capital of the UK which is an independent country and not your 51st State.

2, OUR Sovereign is Queen Elizabeth II (that's pronounced second not eleven). You must not put your arm around her and call her "honey" or "l'il lady". She is to be addressed as "Your Majesty" or "Ma'am" at all times.<SNIP>

6, WE live in a democracy and as such have the right to demonstrate so if your route is lined with thousands of anti-war protesters, don't ask for them to be extradited to Camp X-ray.

7, WE say trousers not pants - unless of course we are referring to your foreign policy.

8, WILLIAM Shakespeare, our greatest playwright, wrote Romeo and Juliet, not Zefferelli. Don't ask to meet Will - he's dead. <SNIP>

Have a nice day...not!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/page.cfm?objectid=13632809&method=full&siteid=50143

[T_i_B]

1. And remember $hrubya...

Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out of here!