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What Planet Are They Living On?
By David Glenn Cox
The core inflation rate as provided by the ever so trustworthy Bush Department of Labor is 3.5%. Which is what leads me to ask, What Planet are they living on? Doing the grocery shopping I’ve seen prices rise multiples of the stated 3.5% buying the store brand hamburger buns that last year were a dollar this year are a $1.29. Frozen waffles last year $2.00 this year $2.49 frozen pizza’s last year 3 for $10.00 this year 2 for $7.00 and on and on. So I went to look how they could come up with these core inflation rate figures.
Apparel is included in the core inflation rate of course apparel is optional to a large extent food is not optional. Healthcare is included in the core inflation rate which is odd because for 43 million Americans healthcare is not only not an option it is not even a possibility. Whether healthcare cost go up or down is a mute point, if we are healthy it doesn’t affect us. Like the cost of a plane ticket to Florida in January if we don’t have one the cost of one is irrelevant.
But transportation is included in the core inflation rate according to the labor department’s unadjusted rate ending September 07 is 2.2%. 2.2% What planet are they living on? Ask the guy where you fill up what he’s trying to pull that according to government statistics transportation cost are only up by 2.2%. That’s the look on my face too! Mass Transit systems across America are struggling but ok 2.2% it is.
Recreation is included as well, as if eating and buying fuel wasn’t enough fun for you. You’ll be relieved to know that recreation was only up a paltry .3% But recreation is such a wide-open term, me, I amuse myself with the masochistic pursuit of lampooning government statistics. But a trip to Europe is only up by .3% What about a cook out? Is that covered under food or recreation? I think that the recreation figure is a safety valve, kinda like the miscellaneous box in Yatzee just put a number here that helps the total, a free space.
But now as we move down the column we come to energy, wasn’t that covered under transportation? Unless we are walking or riding a bike the cost of energy equals the cost transportation. Or does energy mean just home heating oil and natural gas, in either case you’ll be relieved to find home heating oil has been stable all summer long in fact it even declined. I wonder, do they have a George Bush on that planet that they’re from? Would they like to borrow ours for a century or two?
Education and communication costs are only up 2.4% over the last twelve months, gosh, the universities around here must be the only ones in the country to have had tuition increases. But to steal a line from Ronny Ray guns there they go again! Communication? Is that the Phone Company? Cable TV? Newspapers? Grocery store circulars, what? More than likely it sounds like, if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance baffle them with bull shit. Make the figures so convoluted and distorted that the best forensic investigators from CSI couldn’t figure it out, funny camera angles or not.
Other goods and services were up by a surprising 3.6%, dare I ask? Is that the stuff on the counter by the cash register in the convenience stores? Honey, I’ll be a little late getting home tonight I’ve got to stop at the store and pick up some other goods and services. Dave’s first rule of government statistics, If you can’t explain it you can’t rate it.
But now we get to “Special Indexes,” Remember when you were a kid and you got caught doing something that you knew you weren’t supposed to be doing? The cry of “But Mom!” went up to try and make excuses for whatever we were doing. That teacher hates me; everyone is doing badly in that class. They didn’t tell us there was going to be a test on that, well in government speak that is described as special indexes. Calm down Mother,I know it looks bad but let me show you in the special index.
Under special indexes energy costs were down this summer, should have bought that home heating oil in July. But as we scratch and claw through the ribbons and bows we finally reach reality, a pig in a party dress all made up for the ball. Unadjusted 12 months ending Oct 7th energy costs up 14.5%. But see now if we bury that with the cost of apparel and recreation and communication the annual inflation rate is at 3.5%
But now dear friends we’ve reach the whipped cream and cherry on top of this that we are told is a chocolate sunday but actually is a load of crap. The final box, All items less food and energy 2.2% Great! Good news huh? Dave’s high school report card less math and science, all A’s. Titanic’s maiden voyage less icebergs and drownings all A’s. Hindenburgs last trip to New York less fires and explosions, all A’s
But what else could we expect from this administration? The truth? Now that’s funny, the administration that has taken the august stock and trade of lying and raised it to such a professional specialty as to humble even other political professionals. The candidates of both parties are humbled at the feet of the master, no matter how hard they try none can climb to that lofty summit. They have destroyed the average liar’s pallet, they appears as crayon drawings and scribbles next to the Bush administration’s Starry Starry Night.
Even though their zip codes might say they are living on this same planet the fact of the matter is they live in a different world entirely. A world of privilege where a trip to the gas station is done by the limo driver before picking them up. Where shopping is only a question of what they want, oh hell, buy them both, after all it’s only $17,000. Of health insurance and annual raises and cost of living adjustments aren’t you happy about all of this?
Of course you are, here let me show you the statistics.
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