Pat Robertson: God told me who will win ‘08 election

[katty]

for more (comic relief): http://thinkprogress.org/

Pat Robertson: God told me who will win ‘08 election.
-Each year, Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson “goes off alone with the Lord and then comes back to share with us what the Lord has shown him about the coming year.”
This year, according to Robertson, God told him what will happen in the ‘08 election:

On Wednesday, Robertson, 77, implied that God informed him who will be elected president in November.

“He told me some things about the election, but I’m not going to say, because some old man on “60 Minutes” would make fun of me, so I’m not going to tell you who the winner’s going to be,” Robertson said, in apparent reference to CBS humorist Andy Rooney, who turns 89 on Jan. 14.

In 2004, Robertson claimed that the Lord told him it would “be like a blowout” re-election for President Bush. Bush, however, received just 51 percent of the vote that November. In 2006, he incorrectly predicted that “the outcome of the war and the success of the economy will leave the Republicans in charge.”

[melody]

1. melody: God told me Pat's full of crap n/t

[liberalnurse]

13. He has gone off his

"Clozaril" again hasn't he! Pat, some days.....To the Moon!

http://www.clozaril.com/index.jsp?usertrack.filter_applied=true&NovaId=2229644997704675678

What is Schizophrenia?

Many people think that schizophrenia means split or multiple personalities. But that is incorrect. Schizophrenia is a type of mental illness that can affect the way people think, feel, or interact with others. Schizophrenia usually starts in one's teens or early adulthood and is the result of an imbalance of certain brain chemicals. Scientists are still not sure why some people develop schizophrenia, but they do know that its symptoms can be treated with counseling and medication.

There are two types of schizophrenia symptoms: positive symptoms and negative symptoms.

Positive symptoms include delusional thinking (such as believing that one is controlled by other people), "hearing things", and, less often, "seeing things"

Negative symptoms include speaking problems, social withdrawal, decreased movement, and an inability to feel pleasure

[melody]

21. More likely, he's just a lying snake oil salesman

He has a billion dollars in the Queens Bank he never pays taxes on. Pat's a lying charlatan. The "talk to god" isn't
psychosis, just showbiz for his fundie dupes.

[katty]

24. Pat should have his own Sitcom: Hey Pat! God's on the phone!

[SeanQuinn]

2. I think me and Pat are talking to different Gods.

Mine and I don't talk about politics.

[NC_Nurse]

3. What a dickhead.

That is all.

[rateyes]

4. Hey, Pat...

that wasn't God's voice you were hearing. They have meds to help relieve that problem now.

[Lint Head]

5. God told me that he was considering having Pat join

Jerry Falwell in that place where all deceitful liars go. :dem:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. He doesn't have the courage of his convictions!

Scared old man...

I have no use for him whatever...

x(

[hvn_nbr_2]

7. Robertson's god says "This note is legal tender for all debts,...

...public and private."

[onehandle]

8. Andy Rooney needs to waterboard the information out of him.

He needs the material.

[meegbear]

9. God spoke to me about the election ...

but once the medication kicked in, he stopped.

[shain from kane]

10. Would Jesus wear a Rolex

Woke up this mornin', turned on the t.v. set.
there in livin' color, was somethin' I can't forget.
This man was preachin' at me, yeah, layin' on the charm
askin' me for twenty, with ten-thousand on his arm.
He wore designer clothes, and a big smile on his face
tellin' me salvation while they sang Amazin' Grace.
Askin' me for money, when he had all the signs of wealth.
I almost wrote a check out, yeah, then I asked myself

(chorus)

Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressin' room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know
Could ya tell me, Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show.

Would Jesus be political if He came back to earth?
Have His second home in Palm Springs, yeah, a try to hide His worth?
Take money, from those poor folks, when He comes back again,
and admit He's talked to all them preachers who say they been a talkin' to Him?


(chorus)

Just ask ya' self, Would He wear a pinky ring,
Would He drive a fancy car?
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressing room have a star?
If He came back tomorrow, well there's somethin' I'd like to know:
Could ya tell me, would Jesus wear a Rolex,
Would jesus wear a Rolex
Would Jesus wear a Rolex
On His television show-ooh-ooh?



Ray Stevens

[pleah]

11. These guys never die off fast enough, do they.

[napi21]

16. I don't expect Patty to be around much longer. Falwell was 74

when he died last year.

Ya know, I always wonder, since they all believe they're going to die and be in heaven with God, what God says to them when they first arrive at the gate (if they ever do)? I was always taught that you were to treat others as you wish to be treated; not speak ill of others; forgive your enemies; never hate....... You know, all the stuff that Falwell, Robertson, and their kindred spirits DON'T DO! I think they are perfect examples of the "make believe Christian" who finally gets to the gates of heaven only to be questioned about the failures of their life...then told to do an about face and head down that OTHER ROAD where it's VERY VERY HOT all the time!

[pleah]

23. Could not have said it better, thanks.

[benld74]

12. WHat about 2000 and 2004?

[skipos]

14. Who is Jesus/God endorsing in the Repub Primary? Can they make separate endorsements?

[jimshoes]

15. People who claim they talk to God

should be separated from people who claim God talks back to them. The latter need psychiatric help. The former are merely expressing a belief in a Deity.

[Q3JR4]

17. Convenient isn't it?

I'm going to predict something about pat robertson's respectability outside of the usual holier-than-thou crowd. Unfortunately for you I won't be telling you what that prediction is until whatever it is I predicted comes to pass. Then I'll say, "see I told you." :sarcasm:

What an ass....

And the crazy thing is that people actually fall for this crap and pay money to charlatans like robertson because he has some kind of a cosmic tinfoil hat that allows the...um...godly waves that emanate from the big guy upstairs to tickle what's left of robertson's brain so that he can interpret the tickles as something other than what they are....I'd guess...?

Q3JR4.

[Doctor_J]

18. "it's going to be Hillary", continued the conservative gargoyle, "and therefore,

on the Feb 29 edition of the 700 Club, I will set myself on fire, if I receive $1,000,000 in donations by that date"

[Q3JR4]

19. In my mind it would all depend

on what the $1,000,000 was going to be used for.

Q3JR4.

[rAVES]

20. Why would God (even if he existed) talk to that flaming fucktard?

[tom_paine]

22. Pat Robertson's God is Satan.

How do I know this? It's right there in the Bible:

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit, but a corrupt tree bringeth forth bad fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth bad fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore, by their fruits ye shall know them.

No more corrupt "tree" than Robertson and his Minions who steal millions from credulous, yet mostly well-meaning fools, and who's bloody hands are slick with the offal of the tyrants in who's circle he moves.

No more obvious fruits to know a monster like Robertson by.

[Prophet 451]

25. Hey, we don't want the bastard either! n/t

[Prophet 451]

26. Pat's record is not exactly great n/t

[yellowcanine]

27. God told me that Pat Robertson does not speak for her. So to just ignore him and look at the

Creation instead if you want to know what she is saying.

[DRoseDARs]

28. How could God say anything with his mouth wrapped firmly around Patty's cock?

As if Patty's ego would allow for anything else during their time together. :eyes:

[stevenleser]

29. In the days of the old testament , they had a way of dealing with false prophets...

... and to be labelled 'false' you just had to have one wrong prediction. The argument goes, if you are really getting your predictions from God, you will never be wrong.

The penalty for being a 'false prophet' was being stoned to death.

Now, I am not for the death penalty, or for having law based on ANY religious text.

Still...

[ThoughtCriminal]

30. "Criswell Predicts"

Robertson is even less accurate and less entertaining.

[fortyfeetunder]

31. Yo Pat! Who said God was a "HE"?

I think "She" might have an issue with that (or you were talking to Her spouse)....