ACTA-SCHMACTA

[Joanne98]

p2pnet news | Movies:- Fast on the heels of the disclosure that Canada was secretly promoting the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA), a sweeping copyright protection scheme that would create an autonomous international entity with broad police powers, comes the news that Somalia will soon introduce a companion program at an upcoming meeting of the Other Group of 8 (Countries No One Wants To Go To, Even On A Dare).

The Super Confidential Horrible Media Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (SCHMACTA) will extend the comprehensive copyright enforcement powers to shopping mall security personnel, YMCA lifeguards, and school crossing guards.

“Our qualifications are simple” said the Somalian Minister of Doing What the MPAA Asks. “If society gives someone a whistle and an exaggerated sense of self-importance, he’s one of the good guys.”

These “shock troops” will be given “shoot-to-kill” clearance in the presence of suspected infringement activity.

To arm these new front line enforcers, the MPAA today announced a “Guns For DVDs” program.

Everyone who goes to a participating Blockbuster and turns in a Matthew McConaughey DVD will receive a semi-automatic pistol.

“It’s not like anyone is actually watching those movies twice, anyway” explained an MPAA spokesperson.

The trader also receives a coupon good for 12 bullets, redeemable at any Regal multiplex, courtesy of “Sex In The City.”

No one will be given the bullets until the end of the film, just to cut down on the potential for male members of the audience to put them to use on themselves, realizing they aren’t watching Indiana Jones like they were told they would when they left home.

http://www.p2pnet.net/story/16053