By JOSH FREED
The Gazette
January 24, 2009 3:07 AM
... Like most Americans you probably don't know much about Canada except that this is where the cold air comes from in U.S. weather forecasts. In fact, during your Canadian visit we will take you on a tour of our arctic air factory, to show you how we make the cold weather and then ship it south ...
The U.S. and Canada have generally got along well, apart from the War of 1812, when your country tried to seize Montreal - but then decided it didn't want it because it couldn't afford the snow removal bill. President Bush didn't like Canada much, either, because he confused us with France ...
It takes us 10 days to swear in a new leader, while the U.S. took over 10 weeks - enough time for Dick Cheney to carry so many boxes of documents to the shredder he wound up in a wheelchair ...
Canadians have many big differences from Americans. We embrace hockey, not basketball. We throw more snowballs than baseballs. We bike, boat, swim, canoe and water-ski - but we do not waterboard ...
http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/What+Obama+needs+next+brief+guide+home+native+land/1212874/story.html