The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 370August 10, 2009
Super Duper Mega Hyperbole EditionThe madness continues... Teabaggers (1) buy into the idea that threatening people with violence is a winning strategy. Meanwhile, The GOP (2) is slipping, Sarah Palin (3) is sliding, and Orly Taitz (8) has fallen on her ass. Don't forget the
key!
Teabaggers 
In the final desperate weeks of last year's presidential campaign John McCain and Sarah Palin decided that their only chance was to whip their already-disgruntled supporters into a frenzy of resentment. And so it was that shouts of "treason!" and "terrorist!" and "kill him!" began to
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/06/mccain-does-nothing-as-cr_n_132366.html">ring out whenever Barack Obama's name was mentioned.
Of course we all know how that strategy turned out. The blue areas of this map are counties that voted more Democratic in 2008 than they did in 2004. The red areas are counties that voted more Republican:
But despite their massive failure last time around, it seems that the GOP has decided to double-down on its "angry wingnut" strategy, this time to thwart the diabolical evil known as health care reform. That's right - if there's one thing worth fighting for in the richest country in the world, it's the right to make sure that millions of your fellow citizens can't have access to a doctor.
Of course that's not why the teabaggers are really rioting. All they know is that somehow a black guy is president, and Rush and Sean and Glenn are whispering
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/07/white-house-warns-rush-na_n_254147.html">terrible things into their ears, and if they don't act now AMERICA IS DOOMED!!! And that makes them easy pickings for people like
http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=FreedomWorks">FreedomWorks, the so-called "grassroots organization" run by former Republican House Majority Leader Dick Armey, which, on behalf of the health insurance industry, needs an
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/08/tea-party-town-hall-strategy-rattle-them-stand-up-and-shout.php">army of pissed-off, clueless shouters to make sure that health care reform is stopped in its tracks.
Unfortunately these teabaggers/birthers/turfers - whatever you want to call them - are the GOP's very own Frankenstein's monster. First it was John Boehner announcing that "...Democrats appear ready to leave town for the August recess with a so-called deal in hand. I think it's safe to say that, over the August recess, as more Americans learn more about their plan, they're likely to have a very, very hot summer." The next thing you know Limbaugh and Hannity are
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/health-care-reform/2009/08/adl_condemns_nazi_slurs_in_hea.html?hpid=news-col-blog">getting in trouble with the Anti-Defamation League and Glenn Beck is talking about
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0809/25906.html">poisoning Nancy Pelosi. And it's not long before the conservative base is
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/08/anti-health-care-reform-protester-encourages-physical-violence-use-of-firearms.php?ref=fpblg">suggesting, "If ACORN/SEIU attends these meetings for disruptive purposes, and you have a license to carry....carry," and, "If ACORN/SEIU attends these townhalls for disruption, stop being peaceful, and hurt them. Badly."
Is this what the GOP leadership had in mind when they encouraged their base to get active? Can they actually think that this silly season mayhem is going to put them back into power? If the Dems pull out a win on health care and the economy begins to recover, don't be surprised to see them running ads next year which say "We passed health care reform and saved the economy, and this is what the Republican Party has to offer..." followed by video of a bunch of crazed wingnuts screaming "NO NO NO!" So much for "compassionate conservatism."
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/most-important-number/the-most-important-number-in-p-24.html">According to the
Washington Post last week a new Gallup Poll reveals that "the most important number in politics today" is...
37.
That's the number of states that are either solidly or leaning Democratic in a series of Gallup tracking polls conducted over the first six months of 2009. Only eight states are solidly or leaning Republicans in that same data.
The numbers, which are based on party identification of adults in national tracking polls, paint a stark portrait of the challenge facing Republicans not just in the 2010 midterm election but also in the 2012 presidential race.
There are currently 29 states in which Democrats enjoy a 10-percentage point (or more) edge on party identification. Compare that to just four states where the Republican edge is ten points or higher (Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Alaska) and one (Alabama) that leans toward the GOP.
Add up the 29 states that are in the solidly Democratic category, according to Gallup, and you get 350 electoral votes; add up the four states in the solidly Republican category and you get 15 electoral votes.
But don't give up hope, teabaggers - just keep on making death threats and shouting nonsense at the top of your voices, and I'm sure the Republican Party will sweep back into power any day now.
The GOP 
Allow me to reiterate the point. Sonia Sotomayor was
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/aug/09/sotomayor-sonia-us-supreme-court">officially sworn in as the nation's newest Supreme Court Justice last week, after a few months of solid, and ultimately pointless, GOP opposition. "She's a racist!" they cried. "She's too emotional!" Or in other words, "She's not a white male!"
Now look at this
USA Today http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/2004-11-10-hispanic-voters_x.htm">story from 2004:
Democrats regard Hispanics as a core element in the party's base. But according to surveys of voters leaving the polling places, Bush raised his share of the Hispanic vote from 35% in 2000 to 44% in 2004. The surveys, known as exit polls, indicated that Hispanics were 8% of the electorate, an increase from 6% in 2000. More than 9 million Hispanics voted, compared with 6 million four years ago.
Now look at this Research 2000 poll taken in
http://www.dailykos.com/weeklypoll/2009/4/23">April 2009:
LATINO (view of Republican Party)
Favorable: 15%
Unfavorable: 70%
No opinion: 15%
Now look at this Research 2000 poll taken
http://www.dailykos.com/weeklypoll/2009/8/6">last week:
LATINO (view of Republican Party)
Favorable: 3%
Unfavorable: 86%
No opinion: 11%
No, that's not a typo. But don't panic just yet, GOP! The margin of error in the Research 2000 poll is 2%, so there may actually be as many as 5% of Latinos with a favorable view of the Republican Party.
Or, er, 1%.
Sarah Palin 
Stop exploiting Sarah Palin's children... that's
her job! Last week the former governor of Alaska took to Facebook to
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=113851103434">explain what's wrong with health care reform, and I think you'll find it's suitably insane:
The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's "death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their "level of productivity in society," whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.
Why yes, such a system is downright evil. And that's why
nobody is proposing anything of the sort. Are you out of your damn mind?
Palin, along with everyone else driving the wingnuts into hysteria, is just making up lies as she goes along. But this may be a case of the dumb being led by the even dumber. You see, she has an impeccable source for this story about how Obama's death panel is going to murder old people and Down Syndrome babies:
Rep. Michele Bachmann highlighted the Orwellian thinking of the president's...
Okay stop right there. I've heard enough.
Mara Liasson The recent Cash For Clunkers program has been a big success - not only were the stimulus funds expended much faster than predicted, but last week Ford Motor Co. posted its
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124923308640699551.html">first monthly sales gain in two years.
Sorry, did I say Cash For Clunkers was a big success?
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124923308640699551.html">My mistake.
Last night, Fox News aired a clip of a woman at a Philadelphia town hall meeting over the weekend berating Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) about health care reform. "What I see is a bureaucratic nightmare, senator. ... And you want us to believe that a government that can't even run a Cash for Clunkers program is going to run one-seventh of our U.S. economy," the woman complained. "I think that there is anger out there, real anger," said NPR's Mara Liasson, responding to the clip. She then called the woman's concern "legitimate" and compared the Cash for Clunkers program to Hurricane Katrina:
LIASSON: "I thought that woman actually asked a pretty legitimate question - especially Cash for Clunkers is like a mini-Katrina here. I mean it's not good to start a program and not be able to execute it."
You heard right! This:
Is comparable to this:
This:
Is very similar to this:
And this:
Is just like a mini-this:
Want the really bad news? Those heartless bastards in the U.S. Senate
http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2009/08/07/business/business-us-autos-clunkers-senate.html">just approved another $2 billion to continue the Cash For Clunkers program! When will the suffering end?
Michael Steele and John Boehner 
"Jobs Report An Upside Surprise"
http://www.businessweek.com/bwdaily/dnflash/content/aug2009/db2009087_069520.htm">announced
Business Week last week after job losses declined and the unemployment rate went down slightly.
Another sign the economy has turned came on Aug. 8, when the government reported that nonfarm payrolls declined by 247,000 in July. The number, while still negative, was better than analysts had expected. In addition, the unemployment rate, which some had expected to increase slightly, actually posted a slight decline, to 9.4%, compared with 9.5% in June.
Forecasters had predicted a loss of about 325,000 jobs for the month. The July decline was the smallest since August 2008.
Business Week goes on to note that "Clearly, there is still pain out on the street," but, "the fact that the unemployment rate has been relatively unchanged for two months is a positive sign."
Meanwhile, the AFL-CIO
http://blog.aflcio.org/2009/07/30/obamas-economic-recovery-plan-already-created-saved-720000-jobs/">reported that "President Obama's economic recovery package created or saved some 720,000 jobs in the second quarter, according to an analysis by the Economic Policy Institute. Although the economy continued to shrink, the effect would have been much worse without the recovery act, says EPI economist Josh Bivens."
And so, as the Dow Jones climbed to 9370 by close of business Friday (
http://daytradingstockblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/dow-jones-close-12009-stock-market.html">recall it was at 7949 and dropping like a rock the day Obama took office) the GOP had to grudgingly acknowledge that Obama's economic policies may at least have us pointed in the right direction again.
Just kidding!
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/08/07/republicans-react-to-jobless-report/">According to CNN:
"While President Obama was taking a victory lap to celebrate the economy's performance, more Americans lost their jobs and the budget deficit soared to a record $1.3 trillion in July. In the month of July alone 247,000 Americans lost their jobs, which means more than 2.8 million Americans have lost their jobs since the president took office," said RNC Chairman Michael Steele in an e-mail.
And:
"Today's unemployment report is yet another reminder that more spending, taxing, and borrowing does not mean more jobs for the American people. Instead of rewriting history on their 'stimulus' promises, Washington Democrats should abandon their job-killing agenda," said Boehner in a release. "Rather than pushing an increasingly unpopular government takeover of health care that will increase costs, drive up the deficit, raise taxes, and destroy jobs, Democratic leaders would be well-served to work with Republicans on real reforms that expand Americans' access to affordable health care and help small businesses create more jobs."
In case you were wondering why Republicans didn't enact any "real reforms that expand Americans' access to affordable health care and help small businesses create more jobs" during all the years that they were in charge of the House, the Senate, and the White House, it's because they were simply too busy CREATING THIS ENTIRE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
John Bolton 
Bill Clinton swooped into North Korea last week and
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/08/06/2009-08-06_ling_lee_call_captivity_a_nightmare.html">rescued Lisa Ling and Euna Lee, two American journalists who had been kidnapped by the North Koreans and sentenced to 12 years in a labor camp. The cost to the United States was a somewhat comical photo-op in which an extremely-neutral-looking Clinton had to sit next to a G.I. Joe doll of Kim Jong Il.
A smashing success, right? Not so fast! Former Bush diplomat and professional walrus impersonator John Bolton ran
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/04/AR2009080401486.html">straight to the opinion pages of the
Washington Post where he cleared his throat and hocked this loogie:
The point to be made on the Clinton visit is that the knee-jerk impulse for negotiations above all inevitably brings more costs than its advocates foresee. Negotiating from a position of strength, where the benefits to American interests will exceed the costs, is one thing. Negotiating merely for the sake of it, in the face of palpable recent failures, is something else indeed.
Tough words. Tell you what - to settle this, why don't we ask Euna Lee's four-year-old daughter, Laura?
Sorry John, Laura says you're a total asshole.
Oliver North 
Speaking of assholes, Oliver North was
http://www.gopusa.com/commentary/onorth/2009/on_08071.shtml">even less keen on Clinton's successful humanitarian mission:
In principle, there is nothing wrong with democratic governments engaging in secret diplomacy. Ben Franklin's covert negotiations with the government of Louis XVI resulted in the French monarchy's becoming our ally in the American Revolution. President Franklin D. Roosevelt made clandestine arrangements with London to aid the British against Nazi Germany before the United States entered World War II. In those -- and innumerable other cases -- the U.S. has engaged in secret diplomacy with allies to confound common adversaries, and the American people are not told about it until years -- sometimes decades -- later. But when our government conducts a covert contact with an opponent -- even for a humanitarian purpose, such as freeing hostages -- it nearly always blows up in our faces. I should know.
(snip)
In the 1980s, when the Iranians controlled the fate of Americans being bludgeoned and battered in Beirut dungeons, the price was 500 Israeli TOW missiles
(actually it was more like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran%E2%80%93Contra_affair#Arms_transactions">2500 but who's counting? -- EarlG). In this week's case, the ransom may have been the Kim-Clinton photo op, the legitimacy bestowed on the aging dictator by the visit of a former U.S. president, a sub rosa "apology" and an implied commitment to open direct U.S.-North Korea "talks." It may not be as tangible as money, but it's still a ransom.
That's right - because in Oliver North's world, rescuing hostages by holding a brief photo-op and offering the possibility of further diplomacy is almost
exactly the same as rescuing hostages by secretly selling anti-tank missiles to the Ayatollah Khomeni, giving the profits to right-wing guerillas in Nicaragua, destroying the evidence, and then lying to Congress about it.
Orly Taitz Stop the presses! "Is this really smoking gun of Obama's Kenyan birth?"
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=105764">gushed World Nut Daily last week, after one of the leaders of the Birther movement, Orly Taitz, released what she claimed was Obama's Kenyan birth certificate.
And there it is. Or rather, there it isn't. After days of breathless speculation by the Birthers (surely this would force Obama to start packing his bags!) it was revealed that the birth certificate was actually a forgery, based on the
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2008/s2646009.htm">birth certificate of an Australian man named David Bomford, which was
http://washingtonindependent.com/53658/is-this-the-source-of-the-forged-kenyan-birth-certificate">found online.
Case closed. Or is it? Orly Taitz immediately hit back with a strong response which is
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/08/04/taitz_response/?source=refresh">excerpted here thanks to Salon (because according to Google and Firefox, Orly Taitz's website will install malware on your computer):
1. Kenya became an independant (sic) country in 1963, not 1964. The seal of Kenya was correct
(snip)
5. Bomford report was created to try to discredit my efforts
6.lastly, I am not supposed to waste my time and money on this issue, Obama us the one who is supposed to provide evidence of legitimacy
7. Kenyan BC provides more info than the piece of garbage Obama posted on the net, which doesn't have the name of the hospital, name of the doctor or signatures.
8. Chioumi Fukino (sic) and Obama and all their Nazi Brown Shirts in the main stream media need to give it a rest and provide an original hospital BC and the corresponding big thick hospital Birthing file from the Kapiolani hospital. If they don’t have such a file, all of them need to resign immediately or they will be prosecuted for massive fraud and treason to this Nation. (in case you didn’t know, treason carries punishment of life in prison or death penalty).
So there you have it - random Australian David Bomford is a secret Nazi Brown Shirt and if Barack Obama doesn't immediately fess up Orly Taitz will have him prosecuted and then executed for treason! What a perfectly reasonable and not-at-all-completely-insane response.
Unfortunately it only took another day or two to completely deflate Orly's ballon.
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/08/the-birthers-got-punkd-with-fake-certificate.php?ref=dc1">According to Talking Points Memo...
It now looks like the forged "Kenyan" Obama birth certificate that was briefly promoted by the Birthers -- actually an altered copy of a decades-old South Australian birth certificate -- was deliberately designed as a prank on the Birther movement itself, Dave Weigel reports.
An anonymous person has put up an Internet posting showing photos of the document, against a bedsheet background that matches the photo promoted by Orly Taitz. One of the photos shows a crumpled up certificate with the following message written on it: "YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D!"
How embarrassing.
Bobby Jindal If you look up "chutzpa" in the dictionary, you might find a picture of Lousiana governor Bobby Jindal. Specifically, you might find this picture:
That's Jindal presenting a "a jumbo-sized check to residents of Vernon Parish,"
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/07/21/jindal-stimulus-check/">according to Think Progress.
The funds included hundreds of thousands of dollars directly from the Recovery Act - at least $157,848 in Community Block Grant money authorized by the Recovery Act and $138,611 for Byrne/JAG job training programs created by the Recovery Act.
Which is odd, because the very next day Jindal wrote an
http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=951EB463-18FE-70B2-A8F6121708941817">op-ed for Politico in which he called the Recovery Act "stimulus that has not stimulated."
Let me be clear about something: I have no problem conceding that Speaker Nancy Pelosi, with whom I served in Congress, means well, even though I realize some Republicans get mad when I say that. But the simple fact is that House Democrats are determined to try to tax and spend our way back to prosperity. The past six months have made that clear.
Our federal government is currently just flinging stuff against the wall, in trillion-dollar chunks, to see what sticks.
It's okay though - Think Progress notes that in order to make sure nobody in Vernon Parish knew that a big chunk of the money he was handing out actually came directly from the federal government, "Jindal printed his own name on the corner of the massive check."
Bill O'Reilly And finally, The Falafel Master himself decided to
http://tpmtv.talkingpointsmemo.com/?id=3060320&ref=fpblg">weigh in on the health care debate last week after receiving a letter to The O'Reilly Factor which read, "Has anyone noted that life expectancy in Canada under our health system is higher than the USA?"
C'mon Bill, knock this one out of the park...
O'REILLY: Well that's to be expected Peter, because we have ten times as many people as you do.
I mean, duh. Isn't that why all Canadians live to be 750 years old?
The Top 10 will return in two weeks, on August 24. See you then!-- EarlG
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