‘Nice 67 y.o. male' has brush with mortality - Garrison Keillor

[BridgeTheGap]

The doctor who saw me in the ER wrote in her report: “nice 67 y.o. male, flat affect, awake, alert and appropriate.” I had appeared with slurred speech and a balloon in my head, had driven myself to United Hospital in St. Paul, parked in No Parking, walked in and was triaged right in to a neurologist who trundled me into the MRI Space-Time Cyclotron for 50 minutes of banging and whanging which produced a picture of the stroke in the front of my brain, so off to the Mayo Clinic I went and the St. Mary's Hospital Neurology ICU and was wired up to monitors. A large day in a nice 67 y.o. man's life.

I stayed at St. Mary's for four days of tests and when I left, a neurologist shook my hand and said: “I hope you know how lucky you are.” That was pretty clear as I walked down the hall, towing my IV tower, and saw the casualties of serious strokes. Here I was sashaying along, like a survivor of Pickett's Last Charge who had suffered a sprained wrist. My mouth felt fuzzy but I was essentially unscathed, though touched by mortality. Which I have been on the run from for a long time. I never wanted to be a nice 67 y.o. man. I still have some edgy 27 y.o. man inside me.

But when the doctor talks about how you must go on a powerful blood thinner lest a stray clot turn your fine intellect into a cheese omelet, you must now accept being 67 y.o. and do as he says. You had intended to be a natural wonder, an old guy who still runs the high hurdles, but mortality has bitten you in the butt.

I like this hospital. St. Mary's is a research and teaching hospital so you get to observe troops of young residents go by, trailing close behind Doctor Numero P. Uno, and watch them try to assume the air of authority so useful in the medical trade. The nurses, of course, are fabulous. Like many nice 67 y.o. men, I am even more awake and alert around attractive young women (though I try to be appropriate). A tall dark-haired beauty named Sarah brings me a hypodermic to coach me on self-administered shots of heparin, and without hesitation I plunge it into my belly fat. No man is a coward in the presence of women.

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20090923/OPINION04/909230380/1054/OPINION/‘Nice+67+y.o.+male++has+brush+with+mortality

[MichellesBFF]

1. Grr

And out of the 3 comments on his article, 2 were anti socialized medicine.

[road2000]

2. I can't imagine where you got that.

Garrison Keillor is a committed Democrat and once called Bush and Cheney "monsters" on PHC. He often features slyly-done references that poke fun at the regressives.

BTW, this thread is a dupe.

[comtec]

3. He wasn't talking about GK, but the responses

I wish Mr. Keillor well.
He has brought me much laughter over the years - when I caught the show.
his wisdom is something sorely lacking in America :(

[road2000]

4. Thanks, comtec.

I read "on" as "in."

I do wish more people were aware of the sense GK makes.