Screaming kids and airplanes: Mayday! Mayday!

[question everything]

latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-alkon24-2009nov24,0,2649186.story

Screaming kids and airplanes: Mayday! Mayday!
Parents don't have a right to get on a jet with unruly children. In fact, they're stealing from the rest of us.

By Amy Alkon

November 24, 2009

A little late in making those Thanksgiving flight plans? Wondering how you could possibly afford your ticket -- that is, without putting a kidney up for sale on Craigslist? Good news! You can get a free flight home on Southwest plus a $300 travel voucher. Just do what I plan to -- get on a Southwest flight in the next few days, and when it's taking off, shout over and over, "Go, plane, go!" and "I want Daddy! I want Daddy!"

Pamela Root got the free flight and the voucher, plus an apology from Southwest, after her 2-year-old kept screaming those things at the top of his little lungs as their San Jose-bound flight was about to take off. In fact, little Adam reportedly screamed so loudly that the safety announcements couldn't be heard and the pilot turned the plane back to the gate in Amarillo, Texas, where the two were booted off. Root was appalled when a flight attendant told her something to the effect of "We just can't tolerate that for two hours," reported the San Jose Mercury News. Root insisted Adam would be "fine once we take off" -- which, in my book, means either "He'll be fine" or "It would be a serious pain in the butt to be stuck in Amarillo another day."

(snip)

There is a notion, reflected in numerous blog comments about the incident, that other passengers should "just deal" and "give a kid a break." This notion is wrong. Parents like Root and others who selfishly force the rest of us to pay the cost of their choices in life aren't just bothering us; they're stealing from us. Most people don't see it this way, because what they're stealing isn't a thing we can grab on to, like a wallet. They're stealing our attention, our time and our peace of mind. More and more, we're all victims of these many small muggings every day. Our perp doesn't wear a ski mask or carry a gun; he wears Dockers and shouts into his iPhone in the line behind us at Starbucks, streaming his dull life into our brains, never considering for a moment whether our attention belongs to him. These little acts of social thuggery are inconsequential in and of themselves, but they add up -- wearing away at our patience and good nature and making our daily lives feel like one big wrestling smackdown.

(snip)

I know, I know -- because I am not a parent I cannot possibly understand how hard it is to keep a child from acting out. Actually, that probably has more to do with the way I was raised -- by parents I describe as loving fascists. As a child, I was convinced that I could flap my arms and fly, but the idea that I could ever be loud in a public place that wasn't a playground simply did not exist for me. I hear claims that some children are prone to tantrums no matter how exquisitely they are parented. If this describes your child, there's a solution, and it isn't plopping him in a crowded metal tube with hundreds of people who can't escape his screams except by throwing themselves to their deaths at 30,000 feet.

Granted, there sometimes are extenuating circumstances, reasons parents and their little hell-raiser simply must take a plane. Well, actually, there are two: dire family emergency (Granny's actually dying, not just dying to see the little tyke) and the need for a lifesaving operation for the wee screamer. In all other cases, if there's any chance a child is still in the feral stage, pop Granny on a flight or gas up the old minivan. It really does come down to this: Your right to bring your screaming child on a plane ends where the rest of our ears begin.

[wtmusic]

1. "While we're at it, get rid of the fat people

that take up too much space. And the old people...they are so slow. If they can't keep up or get confused at the counter, boot them. I don't want to hear their whining. And people with disabilities should just take a van or better yet, stay home. If we don't want the sacrifice of putting up with kids as a society, why should be pay for handicap access or have to wait for some guy to switch into an airline wheelchair and be wheeled to his seat? Mothers with toddlers, let's assume they don't know anything about their own child--there's no reason to suspect that the kid would settle down once the plane got going, right? I'm sure a good citizen like Ms. Alkon wouldn't sit and think snarky thoughts, she'd offer to help. Really, with her attitude, she'd probably watch an accident victim bleed to death--how dare they bleed on my tidy world...

I've got a suggestion for Ms. Alkon. Imagine your busy life. Imagine doing everything you need to do every day. Now imagine having another small human being that depends on you for everything and having to take care of them and do everything else too. Then imagine being surrounded by people like you when you are having a difficult day."

(from comments)

[Hoopla Phil]

2. All I can think of is "GOOD BUY JEFFREY!!!"

[Skittles]

3. my mum took me and two brothers, ages 2,3,4 - from New York to London

we did not make a peep because, well, our dad told us not to - we simply were not allowed to be loud in public - period

[question everything]

4. Right. And today these parents would be considered abusive

or somehow causing severe damage to "proper" development of children.

[Skittles]

6. we did have experience, though

my dad worked three jobs back then and we had to be quiet when he was sleeping - and we were.....we even fought while whispering LOL

[a la izquierda]

10. all it took was one look from either of my parents...

to shut my sisters and i up right quick. if we acted out in public, my sisters and i feared our lives might have very well ended (though my parents never really spanked us).
to this day, my mom can give me that look and i'll stop dead in my tracks...and i'm 32. my husband tried it the other night (when a little wine made me slightly irreverent about a friend of ours) and i said to him "you're not my mom, it doesn't work with you."

[Skittles]

12. ooh, I very much remember "the look" decades later

you're so right - you felt like your life was in danger even though they never actually DID anything except with.....those EYES :scared:

[SharonAnn]

13. "The Look!" Like Nancy Pelosi looking at Joe Wilson after his "You lie!" to Obama

If she'd looiked at me like that, I would've probably dropped dead of a heart attack or stroke.

That kind of look reminded me of my mother (mother of 8). I don't remember that she ever spanked or hit us, but "that look" made us fear death.

[napi21]

5. I agree! I NEVER took my kids on a plane when they were very young.

They were pretty well behaved, but I was afraid what their response would be if they had to sit in one seat for over an hour. I knew that on car trips, we had a constant agravation between the two. Sometimes it was nothing but "Quit looking at me!" I was far too concerned about the other passengers to take the chance on a flight. I only wish all people would feel the same.

[Skittles]

7. some people really do have to

for example, I grew up in a military family - we flew back and forth between America and England and flew around the US quite a bit too

[tomm2thumbs]

8. parenting skills lacking - bottom line /nt

[snagglepuss]

9. +1

[Doctor_J]

11. The iPhone guy is much more annoying.

I took an Amtrak ride recently during which the person in the seat behind mine yelled into her phone for 25 min. The reception was poor so she repeated herself over and over again. Then I went to a soccer game two weekend ago, and the guy next to me made "business talk" (yeah, let's try to move 100 units this week...) for 50 minutes straight.

Ignorance is not limited to people standing in line to see Sarah Failin.

[pipi_k]

14. I've heard time and again that...

parents with rude or unruly children are allowing their kids to act out their own (meaning the parents') rebellion fantasies.

I suspect that must be true, judging from the attitudes of these parents who either don't look in the least disturbed by their kids' behavior, or actually look rather pleased.

Like some of the others here, my sisters and I knew better than to be rude little shits in public. We were often unruly hellions at home, but Mom and Dad knew they could take us anywhere and we would not act like animals. My own kids were the same way, and my grandkids are that way too. No abuse involved...just what parents of three generations expected from their children.