CNN: "Human resources are dumb as a box of hammers. They need everything spelled out."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Why I fled the office cubicle
By Max Barry, Special to CNN
April 15, 2011 10:53 a.m. EDT



Editor's note: Max Barry is the author of three novels, including the corporate satire "Company". His fourth, "Machine Man," is slated for release in August. He blogs at maxbarry.com

(CNN) -- There are two types of employee: people and human resources. It's easy to tell which one you are.

If your boss says, "Todd, please have your team reach a final decision," you're a person. If she says, "Todd, please organize a team meeting, and because it's lunchtime remember you should supply food, and please cut the breads or sandwiches into either halves or quarters, to discourage over-eating, and remember that crumbs and spills attract uninvited guests," you're a human resource. And you work for the New York City Department of Health.

The difference between people and human resources is that people have brains. People don't need a company policy on how to ascend stairs (stay left, hold the handrail at all times, look straight ahead). People can figure that out for themselves. Human resources, on the other hand, are dumb as a box of hammers. They need everything spelled out.

Human resources are basically office equipment with legs. They're talking furniture. In fact, they're worse than furniture, because at least furniture stays where you put it. It doesn't have body odor, or forward chain e-mails, or stop by to tell you about its sick cat.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/15/barry.cubicle.living/index.html?hpt=Sbin

[provis99]

1. well, now I know Barry thinks he's smarter than everybody else.

Is he a libertarian?

[izquierdista]

2. Personnel?!

Personnel is for idiots. -- Harry Callahan

[FSogol]

3. He's an idoit. Hammers come in boxes. The expression should be, "dumber than a sack of hammers."