Hello, God? It's Me, Dubya Lord? Bush here. I'm confused. By Mark Morford

[Kadie]

Hello, God? It's Me, Dubya
Lord? Bush here. I'm confused. Why won't you crush Kerry and smite the heathens? Hello?

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Are you there, God? It's me, George W. Come in, Almighty. Do you read me?

It's about 8:00 pm and it's just after my last bubble bath of the day and here I am again, kneeling here in the Oval Office all by myself in my most favoritest PJs, the funny ones with the little M-1 tanks and baseball players all over them. I gots some problems, Lord.

Look, I've done everything you asked. I've been good. Haven't I?

I take the message to the people, don't I? I spout that evangelical born-again crap in pisswater Podunk conservative churches across this burned-out fear-drunk nation like I was emceeing a freakin' rodeo in Crawford. And they eat it up, Lord. They eat that stuff up. Hell, I even believe a lot of that fire-breathin' Second Comin' evildoer-hatin' stuff myself.

more... http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/morford/

[tom_paine]

1. kick

:kick:

[DemoTex]

2. "Misprision" says it all, in a word.

And yet you're still lettin' scandal after scandal stain my pure, holy name. Rummy and his rape and torture, Wolfie and his Chalabi, Cheney and his Halliburton, Ashcroft and his Guantánamo Bay, Powell and his vial of anthrax, Rove and his very existence. Why, it's a gul-dang rogue's gallery of beady-eyed mean-ass misprision! Hey! Check it out! I said a neat word! Misprision! I wish I knew what it meant.

[Bundbuster]

3. Kick

Reads like a page out of Whitehouse.org, but with a "G" rating.