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Hey guys...
I just submitted this as an editorial for The Oshkosh Northwestern to print. While I think they'll balk, I just wanted to put it here in case you guys wanted to check it out.
Rp
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A Republican Ownership Society
By Robert Poole, Jr.
It seems to me Republicans now feel that after this past election that they own the country. Let’s examine this claim a little. They certainly seemed to own the votes on November 2nd, but not as many as they might lead you to believe. The margin of victory was one of the slimmest ever, more people voted against Bush than any other President ever and we’ll never know how many votes were stolen due to the voting machines, also owned by Republicans.
Why won’t we know?
They own the media. They own Fox, Sinclair, and have their hands in deep into the pockets of the other major networks. Even the majority of the newspapers toe the Republican line these days. If you’re against it, they own the right to have pundits like Bill O’Reilly or Joe Scarborough call you “the angry left” or continuously blast Hollywood for having a few people that have the power to get on TV and try to even the playing field. They also own the advocacy groups that can put in 98.5% of the complaints to the FCC and get a program fined, yanked off the air or drive the stations into fear of airing the show.
They own God, or so they tell you. They have the Christian Right going up there and breaking laws to tell you how evil the left is and how ungodly we are. They own God, Christ and the bible and even though the teachings of the Bible make sure that helping the poor and the sick is one of it’s main guidelines.
They own morality. Ask them, they’ll tell you so. They get to tell you if you can love each other and be married and they can tell you that a woman who may die of birth complications should because the killing of an unborn, undeveloped fetus is worse than supporting avid pro-gun laws, pro-death penalty laws, and pre-emptive wars without any real evidence of threat.
They own the World. Just ask them. Any country who disagrees with them is evil and corrupt and should bow to us immediately. Even if a country does not ask for liberation, they’re wrong and we’ll give it to them anyways… if the right amount of oil is available.
The own the Constitution. It’s their sheet of paper now. They’ll write in as many laws for their side that they can. Civil Liberties are for pinko commies! Gay Marriage is morally corrupt and if those gays get married they might as well be coming to a straight wedding and punching the Groom in the face!
They own the rules. They control Congress and with that they own our tax dollars. They can give it back to their rich friends at will while the Social Security fund is sapped and then they can say it’s social welfare that is the problem not their tax cuts. They can also give benefits to their rich buddies at the Pharmaceutical corporations. They then can tell elderly people that while they are being pick-pocketed by the Medicare Drug Bill that the drug companies are the ones suffering.
They own the military. Make them mad and they’ll invade you. Sure the troops have no armor but if the troops had to go to war with toothpicks as weapons the Right can just say “You go to war with the army you have not the army you want.” They can throw everyone into one quagmire fight for no reason if they want to and if they want to anger other countries in the process, it’s their right. They won the election after all! We Blue States should take the nuclear blasts. Take one for the team heartless liberals!
Speaking of that… They own the vocabulary. Conservative which means tight fisted, unwilling to change and essentially embodies Ebenezer Scrooge is a good thing. Being a Liberal which means open minded, caring towards others and NOT authoritarian communists as they suggest it means is WRONG. They can float inaccurate terms like “Partial Birth Abortion” or claim names like “Clean Skies Act” for laws aimed at allowing Corporate Polluters to do as they wish, or “Healthy Forests Act” which allows them give away the forests to logging companies. They can call Kerry a flip flopper for weighing in down the middle of tough issues but not to Bush when he changes a position. They can call Liberals “Tax and Spend Liberals” when the big spenders in Congress have been the Republicans and they have been behind the largest Government expansion since FDR got out of office.
They own a Mandate. Just ask them again. 51% to them means 55 million people in this country should have no voice whatsoever. Even though the election was close (and could have gone the other way had Diebold and other voting machine companies not been right wing partisan aligned), the Left gets no say so they can all go to hell. They make sure to say it on TV every chance they can.
There’s only one thing they don’t own. The heart and soul of America. The people that care about everyone else, not just their own checkbooks, aren’t Bush supporters. The people that want us to help countries in real need like Sudan and not make pre-emptive strikes on ones that don’t want us there. The people that will give up gas driven cars to clean our air and that actually spend their last dimes trying to pay for health insurance while the Right does nothing about it and Bush tries the shift the blame onto trial lawyers.
In the end it will be the Right who will go up to meet their maker and face an NYPD Blue interrogation. “Why did you support the Death Penalty, thousands of deaths through wars, rampant gun use, discrimination towards other religion and cultures? You think I view a happy gay couple as something worse than the bombing of an innocent child?”
It will all be on them then. So laugh it up Republicans. You have four years of Bush and two years of Congress. Then the Revolution will begin and America will foreclose on your ownership rights like the unpaid mortgage you have treated our country as.
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