Tired of critical thinking? You need to join the HANNITY YOUTH!

[thebigidea]

I found a scrap of old skit in a plastic crate posing as a file cabinet, and thought it would make a fun video. Or... would it? Whatcha think?

--



THE HANNITY YOUTH

PITCHMAN:
Hey, do you want to be a pompous jerkoff who points his finger at people?

SLOB:
I guess so...

PITCHMAN:
Have you ever wanted to cut off some poor bozo's mic before he interrupted your ignorant tirade?

SLOB:
Sometimes...

PITCHMAN:
Do you like sitting next to whiny stooges that take a fall like a faded champ every night?

SLOB:
Only if he's as good-looking as Alan Colmes.

ANNOUNCER:
Then you need to get Hannitized!

GUY:
Its like being sodomized, only it lasts forever.

hannity jugend run amok in the suburbs, stealing prescription medication, burning books and records, beating up "intellectuals" in ridiculous prop glasses who clutched tattered copies of 1984 and Farenheit 451.

ANNOUNCER:
The Hannity Youth... disciplined, dense, and decisive!
The Hannity Youth... organized, enraged, and out to lunch...
The Hannity Youth... Make way for Murdoch, make way for murder!

KID:
I've been in the Hannity Youth since I was twelve. I don't think, I just hate.

KID 2:
I joined when I was 9 - I can't remember the last time I said something that wasn't handed to me.

camera pulls back, revealing guy holding cue card...

ANNOUNCER:
Get Hannitized! Call now and deliver evil to your door -
order the Savage Sean Neocon Full Frontal Action Kit!
With free armbands, manifestos, muddled messages,
and a stale crust of bread for Alan Colmes,
who comes stuffed in a crate,
completely naked and utterly submissive.

KID:
Wow! Now I can sneer at everybody!

KID 2:
Now I can take orders like a champ!

KID 3:
I can't wait to be told what to do!

KID:
I don't know what I'm talking about -
but I'll tell you anyway!

KID 2:
I blame Clinton's penis - because mine is very small!

KID 3:
I just like to blame anybody but me -
especially when I'm wrong!

ANNOUNCER:
Join the ready, the willing, the brownshirt inclined!
Because an End to Evil begins at home - and the Empire
must last a thousand years...

KID:
One people!

KID 2:
One nation!

KIS 3:
One newschannel!

ALL:
Amen!




ANNOUNCER:
A message from the Project for a New American Century...

--

previously:
http://www.terminalproduct.com/torture.rm

[Paul Hood]

1. Awesome. But will we get some kind of armband? n/t

[thebigidea]

2. of course, a red piece of cloth with a big Sean Hannity head

[opihimoimoi]

3. Do Leashes come too? Jus askin

[thebigidea]

4. that's the Bill Bennett Brigade you're thinking of...

NARRATOR:
Does standard sex lack that special sparkle?
Feeling naughty, but inclined to berate others?
Then join the millions of satisified men
who simultaneously sip from sickly sensuous waters
while calling others deviants, degenerates, and dope fiends!

BENNETT:
Hi, I'm William Bennett. You may know me from telling you
not to do drugs, democracy, or any of that gay stuff.
But that doesn't mean you can't gamble away the night and
get hit by hookers afterwards.

NARRATOR:
So join the Bill Bennett Brigade... because morally...

BENNETT:
Its all relative...

he pulls a slot machine handle and smirks.

[thebigidea]

5. more moral authority...

[Ms. Clio]

6. this isn't one of those lame "you made me spew all over my monitor" posts

Fortunately, I had just swallowed that mouthful of Coke.


Get Hannitized! Call now and deliver evil to your door -
order the Savage Sean Neocon Full Frontal Action Kit!
With free armbands, manifestos, muddled messages,
and a stale crust of bread for Alan Colmes,
who comes stuffed in a crate,
completely naked and utterly submissive.


Oh.my.god.

Thank you for a wonderful laugh.

[thebigidea]

9. Alan Colmes humor: the gift that refuses to stop giving.

[thebigidea]

13. which reminds me, I really need to call his radio show...

hmmmmmmm.... hmmmmmmmm.....

when is it on? 10pm EST?

I should ask him how he feels about the Hannity Youth.

COLMES: "Well, they have very nice uniforms, for one thing. And a clean smell. Like spring."

[Kool Kitty]

7. This is too good.

Can we have real meetings and everything? Now, more than ever-we need to be Hannitized!!!!!

[thebigidea]

8. Devo needs to start making those plastic hairpieces again

plastic hair, pinstripe suit, and flag pin on EVERYBODY at ALL TIMES!

[Skip Intro]

10. Did you do these images?

They're effin' awesome.

[thebigidea]

11. indeed, and hundreds more horrid all embedded at the link enclosed

someday, it'll make a neat set of trading cards.

[thebigidea]

12. and if you act now, I'll throw in the Paul Wolfowitz action figures...

for more on Paul, Sean, and the rest of those loveable coots:

http://www.terminalproduct.com/pnac.rm

[frank frankly]

14. very wonderful latest entry

can you repst the ashkkkroft "not a nipple, not a teat" beauty?

i love it so very much. LOL!

[thebigidea]

17. (insert grumbling ashcroft voice here)

http://www.terminalproduct.com/ashcroftteat.mp3
http://www.terminalproduct.com/ashctoftteat2.mp3

[frank frankly]

19. yay!

thanks!

su-blime!

[terrya]

15. This is a good idea. You never get a chance to see brown shirts anymore.

And NOW you can!

[Melinda]

16. You know, bigidea, that some of us DU "ladies" would much prefer.....

to belong to the officially sanctioned...


"Cult of Coulter"

Fix us up, would ya please?

[thebigidea]

18. I do have some Ann Coulter stuff I was going to do a video to this summer

probably to this song:

http://www.terminalproduct.com/puppetcoulter.mp3

[frank frankly]

20. whoa

that is great. what are the german words saying?

[thebigidea]

21. dunno, something about youth and the homeland

[thebigidea]

22. oooo, I just got the greatest Hannity sample for this...

FOX just reran him berating Rall, incredibly - saying: "You're MEAN!"

MEAN!?!?