Why every good Democrat should buy a Dubya Bush Top Gun doll

[OldSoldier]

The Dubya Bush Top Gun doll--Shrub dressed in a flight suit--made the Top Ten Conservative Idiots list this week. I guess we're supposed to purchase this thing so we can all rejoice in Dubya's announcement that the eeeeevil Saddam Hussein, supporter of al Qaeda and despoiler of the Pentagon on 9/11, was gone and he was never coming back.

Someone pass the crowbar; my tongue keeps wedging itself into my cheek and I can't get it out any other way.

//short pause//

Thanks.

Okay, back to where we were: Why every sane, good Democrat, every soldier and every Marine should purchase a Dubya Bush Dressed Up Like a Real Military Pilot Doll (comes complete with little bitty AWOL bag so you can see Shrub like he was when he was required to wear flight suits...) and, more to the point, what accessories you should purchase along with it.

Let's start with your shopping trip. Stop at your local K-B Toys and purchase a Chickenhawk George Doll.

Next, go to Home Depot. Purchase a 1/16" drill bit from Hardware, a pack of razor blades from Paint and a spool of Mason's Twine (hot pink, preferably) from Building Materials. If you don't have a drill, get one of those too. Now go home.

Take the Chickenhawk George doll out of his flight suit. Bend the legs back as far as you can get them, then drill a hole right about where the crotch is. Cut a slit in the crotch of the flight suit.

Now pay off about a foot of Mason's Twine. Thread the twine through the slit, then through the hole you drilled in Dubbie's body. Tie it neatly yet securely so it won't come off. Put the little Shrub Doll back in his flight suit.

Now tie the other end of the Mason's Twine into a loop and put it over your rear-view mirror. Et voila! A genuine Shrub Bush Hung By The Nuts Rear-View Mirror Pendant!

[Bluzmann57]

1. That's pretty funny!

Except that I don't want to spend even so much as one thin dime on Bushco. Humorous idea though.

[DagmarK]

2. why every Democrat should DONATE the $40+ to social services.......

To keep headstart running.....

To provide food for the needy.....

To keep schools open.....

AND to NOT give a dime to KB Toys or the manufacturer of this monstrosity or line the pockets of every shareholder in both orgs.

etc. etc.

Just print a pic of Bush on our computers and burn it in unison on 9/11 at 8:30am on our front lawns!

The only reason to buy the dolls is to get them off the shelves so others can't have them. And like all Bushes......they just keep coming back...........

[ibegurpard]

3. Another good reason:

VOODOO!
:-)

[yankeeinlouisiana]

14. That was the first thing

I thought of. You're very own, ready-made Voodoo doll. Now, I just need some hair or finger nail clippings. :evilgrin:

[liberalnurse]

4. We could all contact our local witch and

at the next full moon, do a voodoo spell with the *bush doll. One Great Big Spell....

[morningglory]

13. Full moon is tomorrow.

Mars is closest to earth tomorrow (the planet of war and testosterone). Full moon in August is the time to mow down Dog Fennel weeds that may be in your pasture. My father did that in 1962 according to instructions by local fruitcake and it worked! I am going to try to mow down my Spanish Needle weeds in my yard tomorrow and hope they never come back like the BFEE after 2004. Drive stakes through their hearts. I feel better.

[LTR]

5. The only reason I'd even think about buying this stupid toy

The hope one day I can shove it up W's arse!

[demnan]

6. Careful -

Some idiot might take you seriously.

[LuminousX]

7. Don't Dictators

normally dress in military uniforms even if they haven't served? Or they dress in the uniform of elite guard when all they ever were was a potato-peeling private.

[Hamlette]

8. Naaaa....

buy the Bush jack-in-the-box instead. It's too funny.

Although, I do admit, to have Bush as a dictator in military uniform and all is pretty funny. what were they thinking?

[Philosophy]

9. Everybody buy one, and then return it.

http://www.kbtoys.com/help/return.html?_ts=y

And when they ask for a "reason" just say you were disappointed to discover after opening the box that the doll wasn't anatomically correct.

[BiggJawn]

16. Not "Correct"???

Why? does the doll actually HAVE balls?

[Maeve]

10. Wait til it hits Big Lots

In about half a week. The idea is soooooo lame--and probably comes from the same folks who thought "mission accomplished" meant the Iraq Attaq was over.

[TreasonousBastard]

11. I dunno....

40 bucks for a Shrub doll undoubtedly made by prison labor in China seems a bit steep.

Can't we find som GI Joe's lying around and put Shrub faces on them.

Or Barbies with a Shrub face and a pink tutu.

Ken?

(You do not want to know what I did with a Barbie and Ken at this womanwhoistoooldtobeplayingwithdolls' house)

Better yet, what about that Death Row doll in the electric chair that caused a ruckus a couple of years ago? "Death Row Max," was it? Should be a warehouse full of 'em cheap somewhere.

[fob]

12. Here's another idea.

Buy one(waiting for the discount stores to load up is a good idea), print out the Dubya AWOL papers and the Boston Globe story, along with the reward offer from the Alabama NG, stuff it in the box. Add some bottled water and some info on your preferred candidate and send this care package to the troops in Iraq. May need copies of the veterans cuts, and cutting of hazardous duty pay being proffered by the bush* admin as well.

bush* are a national disgrace(plural verb on purpose)

[robbedvoter]

15. Ha!ha! Ya mean this guy?

[LTR]

17. ROTF!!!

That pic made my day. Almost fell off my desk chair in tears!!!

Thanks for the pic! I just had to save that one to my hard drive.

[Liberal_Andy]

18. I'd rather hang a Chimpy Lie-Dispenser