Dear Avacor (Regarding Rush Limbaugh)

[GiovanniC]

Cleaning out my "sent" email folder, found this letter I sent to Avacor a few months back. It's still relevant, though, so I thought I'd share it one last time.

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Dear Avacor people

Since I am a big fan of Rush Limbaugh, I have heard you're ads for your hair-growing-back stuff on his show. I never really knew why you would have a balding guy hawking your hair-growing-back stuff, because either he ain't using it or it ain't working, but it doesn't matter. I would definitely use your hair-growing-back stuff when I ever get bald. Right now I have a huge mullet, so I'm not in danger of getting bald any time soon, though.

I know that every since the liberal media started to crucify Rush just because he needed daily handfuls of heroin-type painkillers because of his bad back, that people would probably try to make you stop advertsing on his show. You shouldn't do that, though, because I have heard that OxyContinence or whatever it is is really expensive, and Rush needs your money so that he doesn't have back pain anymore. Have you ever tried to hit a golf ball to the hole on a par 3 when you had two hernia discs? Me neither, but I bet you would need THREE maids working overtime to score you all the OxyCotton you would need to do that. But if Rush let a little back pain keep him from hitting the links every day, that would be like letting the liberal traitors win.

Besides, his troubles are not all his fault. It's mostly because of a certain president who we all know used to snort cocaine, so why would Rush think that doing drugs was bad? Add to that the fact that the liberal traitors don't believe in morality, and what was Rush supposed to do? He didn't know right from wrong, because of liberal brainwashing programs like Will and Grace with its man-on-dog action.

In conclusion, thank you for supporting Rush Limbaugh's drug habit. Maybe now all those welfare-mom crack-whores will see that if you want to do drugs, you have to get sponsored by a hair-growing-back company first. I will do my part as well, by telling all my friends, my family, and complete and total strangers how helpful Avacor has been in supporting drug abuse!

Sincerely,
An Avacor customer (when my mullet falls out)