Cheney Runs for President Himself! (from The Onion)

[complain jane]

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4021

<snip>

WASHINGTON, DC—As President Bush's public-approval ratings hit an all-time low, Vice-President Dick Cheney announced Monday that he has been "forced" to throw his hat into the ring for the 2004 presidential race.

"Enough is enough,'" the visibly annoyed Cheney said at a morning press conference. "George blew the whole Iraqi prison-abuse speech, and he barely did better with his Nicholas Berg reaction. Now he's below 50 percent in the polls. I'm sorry, but I can't allow him to drag me down with him in November."

"Do I have to do everything around here?" Cheney asked, pausing to gesture angrily around the White House. "I guess I do."

While Cheney has not yet chosen a running mate, he said it "certainly will not be the president."

"I ordered him not to get up there and talk about gay marriage last week, but he insisted," Cheney added. "He said, 'This will work.' Yeah, it worked to alienate a ton of voters. I'm sorry, but he's out."

<snip>

[gristy]

1. Good stuff, as always, from The Onion

"I don't have enough time in my day to spend half of it cleaning up George's mistakes," Cheney said. "I'd rather be preparing strategy for the next couple of wars. Those things don't just plan themselves."

[7th_Sephiroth]

2. never happen

cheney's plan it to be the eternal ruler of america by parasiticly attaching himself to a pupper president and staying in the white house as VP for the rest of his un natural short life