Poiuyt
(1000+ posts)
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Wed Jun-02-04 03:43 PM
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Republican National Convention Schedule |
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Someone sent this to me:
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE - CONVENTION SCHEDULE - New York, NY
In case you are wondering whether to attend the convention, here's the agenda:
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: "Getting your kid a military deferment"
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, it's what's for dinner"
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The homos are after your children"
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: "Corporations - The government of the future"
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' That Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees - The real cause of forest fires"
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: "Doublespeak made easy"
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education - A drain on our nation's economy"
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists - The dangerous new cult"
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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rebel_liberal
(43 posts)
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Wed Jun-02-04 04:07 PM
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The scary thing is that it is probably not that far off the mark :-( Buncha rightwingnuts!
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DU
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Wed May 08th 2024, 05:09 PM
Response to Original message |