Things you have to believe to be a Republican today

[chemenger]

Saddam Hussein was:

A good guy when Ronald Reagan armed him with nerve gas and biological weapons
A bad guy when George H. W. Bush made war on him
A good guy when Dick Cheney did business with him during the international embargo
A bad guy when George W. Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion
 
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is a Communist dictatorship
Trade with China and Vietnam is right because it’s vital to a spirit of international harmony

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body
A multi-national corporation should be able to make any decisions they like affecting all mankind without any regulation

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy
Providing health care to all Americans is evil socialism

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science
Creationism is valid science that should be taught in all schools

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense and a threat to American morality
A president lying about imminent threats to America’s safety to create support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy and perfectly moral

Government should limit itself to only those powers explicitly named in the Constitution such as:
banning gay marriage
censoring the Internet
making sure “The Pledge of Allegiance” includes God

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades
George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime!
(unless you're a conservative radio host - then it's an illness you’ve been afflicted with and you need our prayers for your recovery during your third stay in rehab)

You support “States' Rights” which means that Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell States what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the '60s is of vital national interest
What George W. Bush did in the ‘60s, ‘70s and '80s is irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with Bush and his cronies for 4 more years.

And remember, “Friends don't let friends vote Republican”

 

[Foehammer]

1. nice post

I need more of this..to help after eating lunch with 5 Repugs at work.

[bushwakker]

2. the more you cut taxes

the more tax revenue the government gets

using this logic the if we eliminated all taxes then we'd have an incredibly huge budget surplus.

[whistle]

3. How does Ann Coulter react to all of these...

...if it stands her on her head, then you are onto something. But I'm afraid that like AIDS, being infected with RIDS (Republican Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is just if not more fatal and almost certainly incurable. Maybe strapping a republican into a movie theater seat in a straight jacket with their eye lids held open like in Clockwork Orange to watch Fahrenheit 9/11 over and over might have a longer lasting affect.

[Virginian]

4. Nominated for Homepage.

I thought this was good enough to be nominated for the DU Homepage.

[Tsiyu]

5. That is Beautiful. one More...

It's okay to call a president bad names if he is immoral (Clinton).
You should go to jail if you don't support everything your president does ( * )

[chemenger]

6. kick

Even tho' it may be immoral to kick your own post, I'm doin' it anyway.