If Jesus ran as a Democrat...

[revree]

do you think conservative Christians would try to destroy him like they are doing to Kerry, Edwards and every other Democrat? You have to wonder how far these fanatical pigs would go to win, even crucifying their own spiritual master all over again if he had a (D) after his name...

[bigbillhaywood]

1. If someone like the uncorroborated historical figure of Jesus of Nazareth

(notice I don't say Jesus Christ) were around today, he would not be a Democrat but a socialist revolutionary. Instead of kicking the moneychangers out of the temple, he'd be kicking the corporate lobbyists out of Washington.

[Yupster]

19. He'd be considered a nut

Absolving people of their sins in the name of god, and promising others heaven? People would think he was insane. Or delusional at least.

[mikehiggins]

21. And if he raised the dead

they'd get him for practicing medicine without a license.

[Cheswick2.0]

28. he wouldn't be involved in Politics

as he was not/and refused to be the first time around.

[Blue-Jay]

2. Who would vote for that old populist hippy?

:D

[devilgrrl]

3. You mean that latte drinking carpenter?

That hippie commie? No way!

[havocmom]

4. "If Jesus ran as a Democrat..." would be a great first line of a CW song

but I am just too tired tonight to write the song.

Would likely include:
Hair's too long
circumscribed schlong

Wears a dress
Makes church a mess

Something along those lines. But yes, they would crucify all over again cuz some just talk and don't walk.

[revree]

7. You're a poet, did ya know it?

Great lyrics! Finish the song and post it on DU for us all to croon!

[olddem43]

5. Wasn't that the original story?

The people with the power and the money didn't like this band of ragged hippies going around talking about peace and love all the time and disrespecting them. So the state took action to break it up.

[revree]

8. Yeah, but look what happened?

He became the most powerful human being ever...even if most of his followers don't abide by his teachings. Too bad, because if they did, this would be Nirvana...

[against all enemies]

6. "Jesus, another liberal promoting class warfare"

or
"More liberal than Ted Kennedy"

[flaminbats]

9. Jesus was crucified for speaking out against the system...

Jesus spoke out against the contemporary corruption he found in Judism..his own religion, and he spoke out against the brutality of the Roman Empire..inspiring others who dared to live in a different way. Eventually, Jesus was crucified for being a threat to imperial security in a new millennium. Today he would be crucified as a bleeding heart pacifist, a dangerous traitor, and a counterculture radical.

In short..nothing has really changed culturally, and there are few true Christians in America.

[hrhdeb]

13. Amen

Amen. I wholeheartedly second that. I don't know anyone who could have said it better.

Deb

http://www.votewhileyoustillcan.com

[newyawker99]

33. Hi hrhdeb!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[newyawker99]

34. Hi hrhdeb!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[checks-n-balances]

10. You guys really do "get" this timeless story; too bad it completely eludes

those in the RW who wear their religion on their sleeves.

But that would be too much to expect, since they're the ones who would go after him if it were happening in our situation today.

Then again, if more people had actually been following those teachings for all these centuries, the world wouldn't be in such dire straits now.

Interesting question & responses!

[Mojambo]

11. I'm an atheist and I'd vote for him

But only if he promised to legalize marijuana.

[AntiCoup2K4]

18. Legalize it? He created it!

Isn't that good enough? :evilgrin:

[hrhdeb]

12. The the

There is a song by The The that says it best. It is on the MIND
BOMB album. It goes, "If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today, he'd be gunned down cold by the CIA."

Oddly appropriate at this time, isn't it?

Deb

http://www.votewhileyoustillcan.com

[Cats Against Frist]

14. They Don't Worship Jesus, anyway

It's the GOP Civil Religion of Mammon and the Fake Jesus.

or

The GOP Civil Religion of Mammon and the Blonde Jesus.

I can't decide which I like better.

You've got more assholes preaching that have never cracked a Bible in their lives, thanks to the GOP. It was bad enough when it was people who actually READ the Bible.

The GOP would fillet him and spread it to all four corners of the earth. Jesus, assuming what he said he actually said, from an ethical standpoint, was about transcending the material, humility, community, brother/sisterhood, peace -- everything the GOP is not.

[LittleApple81]

15. But they prefer the Bible to the New Testament. The New Testament

is too Christian for them.

[jukes]

24. Cats Against Frist

very succinct.

how about "Mammon & the Aryan Jesus"?





alas, babylon!

[leftofthedial]

16. yes. they've already destroyed Jesus

they did it when the Romans wrote the bible.

The evangelical Xtians in Murka did it again when they decided old testament law is more important than anything Jesus is supposed to have said.

[AntiCoup2K4]

17. The DLC would never let Him get the nomination.

Anti-war candidate who wants to take care of the poor, instead of giving tax cuts to the rich?

Why we could never get the "center" with that guy. :eyes:

[Mojambo]

20. So true!

He'd have to run as a Green I guess.

[donhakman]

23. A day in Congress

The chair recognizes Tom Delay
"Mr. Chairman I thank you and the members of this special joint meeting and move that the democratic candidate is ineligible to run for President". First of all he is not a real person. And if records do indicate he is even alive, he is not a naturalized citizen of the United States."
Point of order Mr. Chairman, my aids have informed me the sun has turned red and is traveling back wards in the sky!."
Over ruled Mr. Schumer. You may continue Mr. Delay.
"thank you Mr. Chairman, I would like to extend three minutes of my time to Mr. Trent Lott and reserve the right to extend and revise my remarks."
So granted.
Thank you Mr. Delay, I for one find it reprehensible that the Democrats would stoop so low as to drag Christianity in the mud like this...
Mr. Chairman Point of Order
Yes Senator Clinton?
IT is raining frogs in DC and people are turning into pillars of salt...
!
Over ruled, please continue Mr. Lott.
"Thanking the chair could I please have time restored because of that interruption?
Yes, add 3 minutes to Mr. Lotts time.
MR CHAIRMAN
Yes Mr. Cheney
There is an unidentified airplane with a Kentucky Governor aboard that has entered Maryland airspace. It may be terrorists!

EVACUATE THE BUILDING EVERYONE

[CWebster]

22. If Jesus ran as a Democrat

His own party would destroy him first and rally the forces to run him out of town while accusing him of "purity".

[ronabop]

25. Waaaay too socialist.

Give all your money to the church?

Hell, even liberals don't trust religion anymore.

-Bop

[Hubert Flottz]

26. 2,033 years is not enough experience is it?

Besides he never supported the DEATH PENALTY!

[botchan]

27. READ: Dostoevsky: The Grand Inquisitor

Modern day christians are Dostoevsky's Grand Inquisitor. Free will is far too free :)

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

29. The Republicans and the media would take him down with a sex scandal

in about five minutes, with the help of all those holier-than-thou American people. Nobody that was kind to prostitutes or prisoners or such "dregs" of society would be acceptable to them. They would claim he was consorting with the prostitutes.

[SoCalDem]

30. O'Reilly would call him a "long-haired, filthy hippie socialist"

and would insinuate that he and Mary Magdalene have "something goin' on"..

Drudge would hint that since he hangs out mostly with men...he might be gay...

Hannity would accuse him of being illegitimate, and question him .."Who's yer Daddy, Jesus"??

Ann Coulter would accuse him of being a communist, and whine about how she wished Mccarthy was still alive, so he could get hiom under oath..

Limbaugh would rail on about how he "looks Arab" and must be a terra-ist..

Bush would call him Jesse, and ask if he's a Mexicano??

Cheney would just tell him to "Go F himself"..

[Cheswick2.0]

31. He would not be running for office

He would be standing on the street corner preaching the gospel and DUers would be telling him to shut up and go away.

[GiovanniC]

32. MEET THE PRESS Transcript -- Jesus Nominated

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1955184

Sorry, I accidentally ended up posting a whole new thing.