kentuck
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:05 PM
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Oh my God! What if it's a terrorist bomb !? |
neoteric lefty
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:08 PM
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1. No, it is actually Jesus |
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trying to hit George in the head because he is pissed that George using his name in vain. Too bad Jesus throws like a girl.
:)
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donhakman
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:18 PM
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You know John, the Republican party has so wrapped up the Christian voters by declaring all their candidates are appointed by God that I think you need to address the issue head on.
How do you propose to do that Mr. Soros?
You just need to find some authentic character who can inspire fundamentalists as well as humanists.
Fat chance, who are you going to find to depolarize fundamentalism? Not even Saint Ralph the Nader can survive a multinational corporate attack. Besides there isn't such a thing as a Saintly politician.
Have you thought of praying?
Preying upon who?
No praying for a savior to restore democracy. Join me: Please let there be a savior to deliver us from fascism by a man or woman and restore Democracy through out this land...
POOOOOFFF... Oh my God!...Jesus...
"No gentleman just a humble carpenter that has been waiting for the right prayer to answer for a very long time. Now whats next on the agenda"
Who are you for real?
"You can just call me JC or even Jeeves for short. I understand you need some representation to oppose people appointed by God. Well I have a little score to settle with those people."
Well JC, if that is really your name, I suppose we will have to get your candidacy confirmed as long as we can document your eligibility and a little of your history.
"You won't find any paperwork on me, and what is written has been mostly twisted beyond recognition.
John: but how in the hell, excuse me, I just don't know how this is going to fly with the people let alone a Republican Congress.
"Let's just give it a try then."
...............
Special Congressional session as seen on C-Span:
The chair recognizes Tom Delay "Mr. Chairman I thank you and the members of this special joint meeting and move that the democratic candidate allegedly named HeySoose Christ is ineligible to run for President". First of all he is not a real person. And if records do indicate he is even alive, he is not a naturalized citizen of the United States." Point of order Mr. Chairman, my aids have informed me the sun has turned red and is traveling back wards in the sky!." Over ruled Mr. Schumer. You may continue Mr. Delay. "thank you Mr. Chairman, I would like to extend three minutes of my time to Mr. Trent Lott and reserve the right to extend and revise my remarks." So granted. Thank you Mr. Delay, I for one find it reprehensible that the Democrats would stoop so low as to drag Christianity in the mud like this with an imposter...this is sheer blasphemy and I intend to… Mr. Chairman Point of Order Yes Senator Clinton? It was reported on CNN that it is raining frogs in DC and people are turning into pillars of salt... Over ruled, please continue Mr. Lott. "Thanking the chair could I please have time restored because of that interruption? Yes, add 3 minutes to Mr. Lott’s time. “as I was saying I intend to investigate this homeless person in sandals with uncut hair who allegedly associates with prostitutes and expose him as the fraud he is and prosecute him to the furthest extent of the law.” A voice is heard from the gallery “Judge not lest ye be judged.” Remove that person from the Gallery…
MR CHAIRMAN Yes Mr. Cheney There is an unidentified airplane with a Kentucky Governor aboard that has entered Maryland airspace. I believe we should EVACUATE THE BUILDING AND RUN FOR YOUR undisclosed locations.
The Chamber is filled with a biminous light and a soothing voice spreads over the chaos...
"Relax, Ignore the fear monger and consider your duty to the nation, your families and the world." the politicians seemed suddenly stilled and looked up into the gallery.
Chapter ONE
The Campaign Trail
Deep in the heart of Texas aboard the JC bus...
How is that campaign song coming?
This is all I got so far...
Eyes of blue wears cheap shoes He always knows just what to do Will everybody vote JC?
Hairs a mess Wears a dress Says his daddy is the best Will anybody vote JC?
* You know that some folks Hate that he hangs with whores Some folks say that He seems to even love the poor.
Heaven sent And hell bent He’s running for the President Will anybody vote JC?
He’s Democrat That’s a fact He’s got it in for all fat cats Will everybody vote JC.
* You know that some folks Hate him Cuz he’s a Jew Our folks love him He is just like me and you
As President Every Lent The rich will give back All they spent Will everybody vote JC?
* You know that some folks say that He’s Socialist I say it beats George Bush's torture iron fist
Jesus Christ Men and mice All think that JC is nice Will everybody vote JC
Blacks and Jews Athiests too Join against the Falwell crew Will everybody vote JC?
* The TV reverends all Denounced you. That they hate is The one thing that we know is true.
Double U Gets the flu He turns right into Soap and glue Everyone suspects JC
Miracles Spirituals And songs that are Satirical Will anybody vote JC
* The folks that hate Say that JC is a fraud But they vanish As if by some act of God
He’s Democrat That’s a fact He’s got it in for all fat cats Will everybody vote JC.
.........
Who are you going to get to sing that at the convention?
"So far we have Barbara Striesand and Marilyn Manson."
Jesus Christ, oh well I guess you jus gotta believe it comes off OK.
"Don't sorry, they say George Bush is going to sing Amazing Grace"
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kentuck
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Hey! I really enjoyed that! |
Mz Pip
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:14 PM
Response to Original message |
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grab your balls.
MzPIp :dem:
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Berserker
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:14 PM
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3. Will the next warnings |
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Be to watch for exploding Baseball's,Football's,Tennis ball's? Like the 4th of July explosive coolers? Give me a break. Do they think we are all that stupid...Well wait I take back that last statement.
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donhakman
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Fri Jul-09-04 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
5. check your shoes at the door |
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Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 02:01 PM
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