'Fahrenheit 9/11' portrayal steams Three Rivers man - Executive Chute Guy

[WillyT]

<snip>

Many people dream of being in a hit movie.

For John Rivers of Three Rivers, a recent trip to the theater turned in to "probably one of the worst experiences" he's ever had. His pain came after he took a relative's advice to see Michael Moore's new film "Fahrenheit 9/11."

In a phone interview Friday, Rivers was blunt about his anger toward Moore: "The bottom line is, what this guy did made me look like a fool in my own community, in the world."

In the movie, Rivers is shown trying to help a woman put on a parachute developed by his company, Executive Chute. The product is marketed as "an option of last resort to escape a high-rise building when there's a fire," Rivers said.

<snip>

Link: http://www.mlive.com/news/kzgazette/index.ssf?/base/news-10/1089455247149450.xml

Wondering if the relative let him know that he was in the movie, or if it was a surprise???

You know... with all the executives about to (I hope) serve prison time, maybe we could use them to test whether the chutes actually work. Give 'em 60 seconds to put the chute on and jump off a high-rise, and if they live, they get a reduced sentence, no???

:evilgrin:

[Liberal Veteran]

1. Correction John: YOU made you look like a fool......

Is it Michael Moore's fault that your spokesmodel couldn't figure out how to put on your "easy to use" product?

[Eric J in MN]

5. The article says the woman who tried to get on the product was

The article says the woman who tried to get on the product was his "temporary secretary receptionist."

[Sparkly]

9. Nonetheless, if it was supposed to be easy for the average person

to use, it didn't look like it. But it's kind of like the Repugs getting upset at the ad showing Chimp talking tough on terrorism and then saying, "Now watch this drive" and getting back to his golf game. It happened, he said it, there's no lie there...

[playahata1]

12. Agreed. My cousins and I laughed our ASSES off at that scene.

Can't wait for the DVD.

[notadmblnd]

16. That's what he gets for trying to profit

off the fear the govt likes to keep generated. He made himself look like a fool. MM just pointed it out.

[UdoKier]

25. Exactly. A documentarian comes to film your product...

...and you're not even prepared to present how it works? Pretty lousy businessman if you ask me.

Besides, if I worked on the 80th floor of a steel building, I still might want to have one just in case. Moore was poking fun at the paranoia and lack of clear thinking than the actual product itself.

Think about it. Many of the people above the crash on the WTC WOULD HAVE had time to put on such a chute properly, and escaped. (There's no guarantee that they wouldn't have crashed into another building on the way down, but it still beats burning or being caught in a collapse.)

The product is not really all that stupid. It's just nost something that would be useful to most Americans, since most of us work on floors lower than 20, and an awful lot work in 1-story office parks...

[babzilla]

26. the clip in the movie is from The Today Show

Michael Moore didn't waste his time visiting the CEO of "Executive-chute".

He didn't have to, there was plenty of media coverage that already existed owing to the all out media blitz undertaken by John F. Rivers II CEO of The Executive-chute Corp.

click here for video:

http://www.executivechute.com/news.asx

"If all our efforts save at least one life, it will have been worth it"
John F. Rivers II, CEO
Executive Chute

Executive Chute Commitment:

Executive Chute is committed to providing a safe, secure environment at home, or the office, for those living or working in high-rise buildings. One that gives an individual peace of mind knowing they have every opportunity to survive should an unforeseen disaster strike. We are taking our experience, coupled with existing technology, and applying it in order to protect and save lives.

We feel many of the 150 or so that jumped from the World Trade Center, and some that didn’t, may have been saved with the use of an Executive Chute

Gee, 150 x $799.00= worth being made a fool of indeed.

[koopie57]

2. In all actuality

his sales of this chute will probably increase due to this.

[Iris]

28. Do you think people are still THAT scared?

I mean it already looked like a throw back to one of those 50s bomb shelters or black and white film footage of school children under their desks!

[koopie57]

36. What?

scared? I was thinking more along the lines of free advertising. Scared ... but since you asked so politely, yes, I do think many people are still THAT afraid. They hear every day that terrorists are planning an attack, large scale, but well, we don't know where, but they are out there, they are coming. I think it is scary for some. I too think that little device was silly looking and cumbersome, but I think I can only speak for myself.

[jdsmith]

3. What kind of relative was THAT?

For the sake of argument, let's say that MM was a little cheap with that shot. And let's say that the guy's product is usually topnotch.

What kind of jerk was Uncle Earl to tell this poor doofus to go to the theater?

On the other hand (no more sake of argument), it seems that his anger is a bit misdirected. He didn't have to pitch his product with Matt Lauer. And Uncle Earl could have kept a lid on it.

[Eric J in MN]

4. Michael Moore took footage already broadcast on "The Today Show"

Michael Moore took footage already broadcast on "The Today Show."

And the point of the scene wasn't to make fun of the executive, but to show the national confusion over the question:
What can we learn from 9/11?

[Melodybe]

21. Boo Hoo, this guy was trying to cash in by selling fear.

I feel no sympathy for the guy. Some may argue that he is trying to save lives but his product was useless and in the event of a tragedy his product could kill just as many people as it saved. In the event of another 9/11 every second counts, if his bogus product is hard to get into that is his own fault.

[Solly Mack]

6. He made himself look stupid

and boy, did he look stupid.

[LittleApple81]

7. You must admit IT WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST parts in the movie.

It showed the idiocy of our responses to the threat levels. The other one with the metal box was also precious.

[VolcanoJen]

11. Yes, I'm looking forward to enjoying my finest Bordeaux...

... in the Port-a-Let-cum-Bomb-Shelter. :D

[playahata1]

15. I was waiting for somebody to break out the DUCT TAPE.

Then again, that would have been TOO obvious.

[peekaloo]

19. the audience howled at the screening I attended

and the cookie terra-ists!

[VolcanoJen]

8. Sorry, Mr. Rivers. You don't need any help looking like a complete fool.

Nice try, blaming your own actions on others, though. Spoken like a true Dubya Republican!

[Mari333]

10. He made crap to gain monies from people's fears

Greed will do you in every time. Stop feeding into the greedmonster and using people's fears to make a profit.
Too bad. Gee, I wish I could file a lawsuit against GW Bush and Co for sending my kid to a fraudulent war based on lies.
Cry me a River, buddy.

[0007]

13. If your gonna be a sucker be a quiet one!

If the "Executive Chute had brought in many bucks John Rivers would have laughed at himself.

I wonder how much do they cost? Ya know your repuke boss ain't gonna buy 'ya one.

[Liberal Veteran]

17. 800 bucks a piece according to their cheapo website.

:)

[no name no slogan]

14. The only person who can make you look stupid is yourself

I'm sorry, but the guy is trying to sell PARACHUTES to people who work/live in skyscrapers. What could be more stupid than that?

Even if everybody in the WTC towers had one of these, could they have really been saved? How near to the windows were they? Would there be enough clearance for the chute to open safely before they hit the ground? What about the flames and the wind currents around the towers? Would it really be possible for 2,500 people to jump out of a collapsing skyscraper within a minute of each other without getting tangled up in each others' chutes?

I'm sure there's probably a few people who will buy the damned thing because they think they'll need it some day, but there's a sucker born every minute. The guy marketing this product obviously knows this, and is counting on these ignorant "suckers" to make him a pile of dough.

The guy SHOULD be embarrased, but not because MM featured him in a movie.

[WillyT]

22. Oh, You're Being Too Nice Here...

There wouldn't be 2,500 chutes, because there weren't 2,500 executives. Maybe a couple of hundred executives (if that), but the regular working stiffs would be lucky to be given the Mary Poppins version.



:shrug:

[babzilla]

23. another overlooked fact

windows on skyscrapers DO NOT OPEN nor easily break.

You would have to find something in the office of a pretty substantial weight to break the glass in a skyscraper window before you could take flight in your "Executive-chute".

Something tells me Mr. Rivers did not think this product out very well before he rushed it into the hysterical fear-driven marketplace.

I wonder what his sales figures ended up as. Did anyone actually purchase one?

[Cha]

18. If he would have been any kind of cool dude

at all..he would have just laughed it off and expounded on the fact that they really are easy to put .."I just wasn't that prepared for the Today show!"

[babzilla]

20. bottom line is dude hurt his own bottom line

In a phone interview Friday, Rivers was blunt about his anger toward Moore: "The bottom line is, what this guy did made me look like a fool in my own community, in the world."

Tough shit Mr. Rivers. If you would have rehearsed the donning of the "Executive Parachute" with your assistant before your appearance on national TV you could of avoided looking like a fool in your own communtity and in the world.

Proper preparation is crucial to making a pitch for a product, just as it is crucial to strapping on an "Executive Parachute" before jumping out of a skyscraper.

Live and learn dude, meanwhile we'll all be laughing at you.

Go to the Executive-chute site to see a video montage of news coverage of the "Executive Parachute". Apparently Mr. Rivers had no problem with the news coverage that edited out the product gaffes.

Amazingly, every network lined up to cover this ridiculous product. Matt Lauer, Barbara Walters, Deborah Norville, all present and accounted for. Sheesh.

http://www.executivechute.com/

[harrison]

24. Yep, I can see how this works. There is a fire, you put on

your chute. Some poor frightened soul bounds into your office while you are putting on your escape chute. He says, "What are we going to do?"

As you take your desk chair and break out your 74th floor window, you look back at the unfortunate and say, "What do you mean, "We?" Then you jump out the window and pull open the chute, land in the street and are immediately run over by truck.

(Sorry for the dark humor here.)

[homelandpunk]

27. hahaha. That was good.

And by the way, At what floor would you HAVE to pull to land safely? Which means at what height would you have even a 50% chance of survival? The whole idea is a joke. I'm glad this asshole feels humiliated.

[babzilla]

33. pull it quick brother

from the Data Sheet:

"The Life Preserver of the Sky"

In the event that you have to use this device, it opens rapidly in 1.9 seconds to full inflation. The descent rate is approximately 1000 feet per minute. The fast descent is important so it gets you to the ground quickly. You will avoid floating around precariously on air currents. The chute has been tested from as low as 125 feet. The deceleration and landing results were very acceptable, and survivable.

http://www.executivechute.com/products.html

[Iris]

30. you need to add "hot pink"

it was a hot pink parachute!

To me, that's what was funniest of all.

[HuckleB]

29. The guy is clearly a poor marketer/business person.

Even if it is difficult to use, which it appears to be, he should have prepared his model to know how to put it on quickly. That's about as basic as it gets. If he doesn't understand that, how does he stay in business at all?

He's only got to look in the mirror to know who's to "blame."

[Iris]

31. I'm sure he would call himself an "entreprenuer"

[neuvocat]

32. I almost forgot about him.

What an idiot for reminding everyone why he was an idiot in the first place.

[Ducks In A Row]

34. It could have been worse

He could have done it for the Pen and Teller show and looked like an even bigger fool.

[LTR]

35. What about the porta-potty guy?

The terra-proof porta-john was even funnier. I laughed when the narrator was talking about 'enjoying your bordeaux while chaos ensues outside'.

Yeah, nothing like sitting in a bomb-proof shitter watching people die.

So sick it was funny.