Sen. Cornyn on box turtles (WTF?) and homosexuals...

[phillybri]

"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."

-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), advocating a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in a speech Thursday to the Heritage Foundation.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43048-2004Jul11.html

What the fuck is wrong with these people!!!:grr::nuke:

[redqueen]

1. lol

Is he trying to compete with Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum?

The Republicans in congress have all lost their minds.

[GiovanniC]

12. What If

A dog and a turtle and two men got together?

What kind of children would they have?

We should ask Conan O'Brien... they have the technology to find out.

[redqueen]

16. HAHAHAHA

You never fail to crack me up! That's a great idea... wonder if he'd go for it... looking for contact addy. :)

[meegbear]

2. I'M A BOX TURTLE AND I'M PROUD!!

We're beached! We're breached! Get used to it!

[hatrack]

4. And I'm NOT crawling back into my shell ever again!!!

I'm slow and I'm a ho - GET USED TO IT!!! :evilgrin:

[meegbear]

7. Word Girlfriend!

Jeex. Man on turtle sex? I've had bears and pigs, but ....

[DS1]

25. I've been known to enjoy the occasional pug behind a Ford Ranger

but maybe box-turtling is some kind of mystery sex roullette.

Place turtle in box.

Spin.

Poke hole in one side.

Pray the odds are with you...

[Unperson 309]

26. Don't Do That With A SNAPPING turtle!

YEEEEEOWWWWTCHHHH!

Them suckahs is MEAN!

309

[WoodrowFan]

33. to quote from the novel "Lamb"

"A turtle, oh man, that's GOTTA be an abomination!"

[GOPisEvil]

3. Sigh...Cornyn is such a Bush-boot-licking lackey.

His next original thought will be his first.

What a steaming pile of crap. Comparing human beings to turtles! Go fuck yourself, Senator.

[Mari333]

5. That is so stupid, it's hilarious

Let them keep talking like that. They make complete asses out of themselves.

[MallRat]

6. Wow. I didn't know that box turtles could CONSENT!!!!

:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

What the FUCKITY, FUCK, FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!

A DOG CANNOT CONSENT!
A TURTLE CANNOT CONSENT!
A 6-YEAR-OLD CHILD CANNOT CONSENT!

THESE ANALOGIES TO A CONSENSUAL ADULT RELATIONSHIP ARE IRRELEVANT, OVERSIMPLIFIED, INSULTING BULLSHIT!!!

CALL THEM ON IT!!!

-MR

[aden_nak]

15. Don't be so sure.

>A TURTLE CANNOT CONSENT!

If it nips the end of your pecker off, there's a good chance that it did not consent.

[terrya]

8. Honestly, you begin to lose IQ points listening to these people.

Your brain begins to hurt...just reading this hateful gibberish.

You get this sense of unreality...as if you're Alice in Wonderland. Reading someone rationalizing denying a group of people basic human rights because of people marrying amphibians.

[soupkitchen]

9. Not to mention how uncomfortable you would feel serving turtle soup

when you invited them over to dinner.

[KurtNYC]

10. The exaggeration shows that

their polls aren't showing much resistance to marriage so they have to push it to something extreme.

[TrogL]

11. They just live in a very different world than we do

I've lived around these people for years. They come out with insane crap like this, then question my sanity.

[TrogL]

13. From another thread...

I don't want to talk about gay marriage. First, whenever I do, religious fanatics then send the most grotesque e-mail imaginable, detailing sexual practices that obviously obsess them but which I'd rather not think about.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/steinberg/cst-nws-stein12.html

[redqueen]

17. OMG!

They should publish those e-mails! These sicko right-wingers should be outed as the closeted pervs they are!

LMAO!

[LittleApple81]

14. Ummmmmm.... I am trying to figure out how that could be worked out

sex-wise.... could be very painful.
THOSE GUYS ARE STUPID, NUTS, AND LEADING OUR COUNTRY!!! the last part is what is terrifying.

[oneighty]

23. Onct them there box turtles

grabs a holt a something they not be leting go till the sun be going down too. By golly!

180

[JayS]

18. I don't care what y'all say...

...but I stand up for the rights of box turtles everywhere. Perhaps not for the Red Ear Slider as they are all shiftless and lazy.

[underpants]

19. Oh BOX turtle for a minute there I thought he meant POST turtles

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokebushpostturtle.htm

A 70-year-old Texas Rancher got his hand caught in a gate while working cattle. He wrapped the hand in his bandana and drove his pickup to the doctor. While suturing the laceration, the doctor asked the old man about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'Post Turtle.'"

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked what a Post Turtle was.

The old man looked at him and drawled, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a Post Turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain:

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down."

[Mz Pip]

20. Straight people

can't marry turtles either. :crazy:

MzPip
:dem:

[Toucano]

21. Funny how he abandoned this turtle

story when he spoke on the Senate floor yesterday.

It was perfect for the Heritage Foundation audience, but he didn't think enough of it to have it entered into the congressional record.

Give him a call. His office number is 202-224-2934.

Edit: I called to encourage him to include the box turtle story in his speeches in the Senate. I said it really needed to be entered into the congressional record so that future generations will understand the brilliant reasoning behind this action.

[donsu]

22. they are religiously insane

and racist

and MCPs

[Bridget Burke]

24. Kay Bailey Hutchison's title is safe.

When her colleague was Phil Gramm, she became known to most Texans as "Marginally less atrocious than our other senator".

Cornyn's allowing the tradition to continue.

[Blue_Roses]

27. God I wish Ron Kirk would have beat that ass!

He is such a right-wing jerk.

[Lisa]

28. "The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks / That practically conceal its sex"

"I think it clever of the turtle / In such a fix to be so fertile."


--Ogden Nash



Better to wed a box turtle than someone as hard-shelled and slow as that Senator!

[mondo joe]

29. When Box Turtles are US Citizens, maybe

I'm sure his ancestors said "If we let negroes have the vote will we then have tolet Box Turtles vote too?"

[JohnKleeb]

30. What if a republican wants to marry a corporation?

Surely that should be legalized. I hate to break it to John Cornyn but a marriage between a man and a man is more simliar to a marriage between a man and a woman than a man and a box turtle, and if a man wants to marry a box turtle, let the weirdo marry a box turtle.

[Lisa]

31. and corporations were declared to be people in the 19th century ...

This was back before the majority of people in North America (e.g. women) had full status as citizens!

[PDittie]

32. John Cornyn is the dumbest SOB

in the United States Senate.

Look what Atrios posted in response:

[Misunderestimator]

34. It's gives me a whole new perspective on that turtle I saw in my back yard

the other day.... DAMN ... I really missed an opportunity! And HOW COME it's always Man on Turtle... Man on Cow... Man on Dog... What about LESBIANS for god's sake. I want equal time here.

:bounce:

[kayell]

41. When I was 7 I traded my baseball glove for a bucket of box turtles

But I swear I had no idea of the perverted purposes turtles could be put too.

And now, I'm quite sure that they would not be a good idea. Only a repug could imagine something so perverse and painful. Safe sex includes avoiding reptiles with sharp, snapping beaks. :shudder:

[Padraig18]

35. Does Texas only send asshats to the Senate?

What a dumbshit!

:wtf:

[LDS Jock]

37. Yes, unfortunately

What goes through the minds of people here when they go to the voting booth? Both our Senators and DeLay :puke: At least my own Representive Lloyd Doggett has some sense.

[FredScuttle]

36. "Turtle Eye For The Straight Guy"

Coming next season to the Discovery Channel

[Djinn]

38. Assuming the turtle argument wasn't insane

"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right."

wanna give an actual reason why it's "wrong" - without using God?

[Warren DeMontague]

39. Once again proving that Republicans are into Kinks we'll NEVER understand.

[chookie]

40. Is that straight or gay bestiality?

If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.