AAR caller: neighbor pulled up his pro-Kerry sign 3 days ago

[rocktivity]

He went to see why his dog was barking and eyewitnessed the act. The neighbor laid the sign on the lawn and left. The caller put the sign back up, but the neighbor has now taken to parking his van to block any view of it.

Al Franken had two suggestions: A friendly request to cease and desist, and a pro-Kerry bumper sticker on the freeper's van. Any others?

:headbang:
rocknation

[swag]

1. Shit in the guy's mailbox

[Guaranteed]

12. ROFL! nt

[lapislzi]

25. Actually, the flaming bag of dog poo is a better prank

you put dog poop in a paper bag outside the guy's door and light the bag on fire. Ring and run, hide and watch.

[AntiCoup2K4]

32. Funny, but not advisable.

Tampering with the mail is a Federal crime, and this Freeper wack job would be just the type to call the feds over a mail-shit-bombing.

[havocmom]

34. No that would be a federal crime

one must never put anything but USPS delivered mail in someone's mail box.

Send the shit via priority mail.

[Autobot77]

46. LOL!!!!

}( :evilgrin:

[swag]

62. Hi, AutoboT

wELCOME TO du!

[otohara]

66. Former Neighbor Did This To Me Because of My "Attack Iraq NO"

sticker - only he put the doo doo on my windshield. This is a shitty thing to do.

[madrchsod]

2. he should nail the sign

to his house so the moran can`t do a dam thing about it...

[charlie105]

3. Staple fly paper to the back of the sign. Keeps flies and freepers

in check.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Water his lawn every time the van is there

legal...and no claims of vandalism

[gratuitous]

5. Uhm, go talk to the neighbor?

I know it's not flashy, sexy or stylish, but how about go talk to the neighbor? If the neighbor's a real jerk, which is what we all suspect, then consider the options and alternatives. But go talk to the guy first, see what he finds so objectionable about free speech and private property rights.

Heck, it's not outside the realm of possibility that you could convince the guy to vote for Kerry. After all, both parties live in the same neighborhood and presumably share many of the same interests. Besides, after the election, you're still going to be living next door to this guy regardless of who's president. Why stir up a bunch of hatred and discontent between neighbors? That's the Republican way.

[redqueen]

13. I agree with you

Treating him nicely may open a window of opporunity. Show him we're better than that. And if that doesn't work, you can always go ahead and put the sticker on his van. ;)

[faithnotgreed]

21. wonderful advice.

[thebigidea]

28. yeah, because a neighbor that does shit like this...

... is going to be REAL rational. I'm sure a friendly chat is all that's needed.

[gratuitous]

29. Well, I did say chat first

And consider other alternatives later. Certainly there's always time to drop the neighborly neutron bomb, but once dropped it can't be recalled.

Who knows? Maybe the neighbor was having a bad day, or a bad week. Certainly he might be irrational, but why run to that conclusion prematurely? As I also said, this guy's probably going to be a neighbor for a lot longer than Stupidhead is going to be president (or at least, I hope so), and there is probably far more commonality of interests than division of interests between two people living on the same street.

Dividing neighbors against each other and misleading people so that they will vote against their own interest is a Republican tactic. We're better than that, and here's a wonderful opportunity to show just that. This isn't happening on the national stage; nobody has to be bullied or embarrassed in order to score a political point. This is a small, garden variety dispute between neighbors. It can be solved in a neighborly fashion if we desire. Not every difference of opinion warrants the storming of the Bastille.

[thebigidea]

31. A neighbor without even the most basic respect for private property...

... does not seem like a likely candidate for a respectful conversation.

I'd ignore him. If he was so worked up to do some crap like this, who knows how a calm chat face to face with a demonic liberal will affect him?

[gratuitous]

38. That's a consideration, as well

Right now, the guy with the Kerry sign in his yard is totally, 100% in the right. Why should he cede this advantage just for the sake of a ballistic response that won't solve the problem and just spreads hatred and discontent? Why make the doofus neighbor's problems and hang-ups his own?

Ignoring it is probably a good solution. I was having problems in 2000 with a lawn sign that kept getting taken down or removed (I lived on a very busy street). I got a whole bunch of signs, but by the time I put out sign number 5, my adversary had apparently wearied of the game. That, and by the time sign number 5 went up, I was securing it to a tree with industrial-strength baling wire. :)

[yardwork]

54. I applaud your sense of fair play.

Some neighbors of mine ripped the Darwin logo off another neighbor's car. They felt entitled to vandalize someone else's property because they felt it dissed their religion.

I never socialized or spoke with them again.

I imagine they are freepers now - this was years ago. The point is, we don't want to descend to that level. It's fun to fantasize getting even, but far better to provide a mature, thoughtful alternative to childish pranks.

The rest of the neighborhood may be watching. Who is the better advocate for their candidate?

[tridim]

6. Spray him with a hose

next time he trespasses on his yard.

Or...

Set up a video camera, film the act and then send the tape to him in a plain brown envelope with a note: "Why do you hate free speech?"

[TrogL]

7. Have him charged with trespasssing

Enough with the vigilante stuff

[Feanorcurufinwe]

51. Exactly. Set up a video cam so you have proof. Then call the cops.

Trespassing AND vandalism.

[Ganja Ninja]

8. Slash the tires on the van.

Put the neighbors phone number or credit card numbers out on the net. I would work hard to F**K the guy over big time.

[hatrack]

9. Get a bigger sign - you know, one of the 8' by 10' numbers

The kind that are usually reserved for placement on corners of busy intersections.

[progressivebydesign]

10. Put the sign in the window.

Take the stick off.. put it in the window. How AWFUL it would be to have to live near someone like that. What a jerk.

[THUNDER HANDS]

11. if he owns the house

I'd suggest let your grass grow a lot, then write VOTE KERRY with your lawnmower on your front lawn.

At the very least, if any planes fly overhead the passengers will get a good message. :)

[Guaranteed]

14. Or put a BIG sign up on the roof. nt

[devinsgram]

24. I was just going to post that.

Put a faulty latter nearby, you know one with one or two rungs broken near the top. That will teach him a lesson.

[sandnsea]

27. Yeah, and a banner on the eaves n/t

[Generic Other]

16. You can write vote for the fascists with bleach in his lawn

but that wouldn't be very nice.

[Union Thug]

15. My dad had this problem...

he would put up his dem candidate signs.. and some asswipe from the country club (they built a country club in a semi-rural community...another story completely) would pull them up, steal them, rip them to shreds, etc.

My dad's solution... As a printer, he had access to all sorts of great ink. Some ink came in cans and was the consistency of creamy peanut butter. He spread this ink all over the back of his signs.

One day, he was watching out the window as some jackass stopped his mercedes, jumped out and scurried over to my dad's sign. The guy grabbed the sign and when he felt the ink, reflexed and wiped it on his lovely brown leather jacket..

bwahahahahahah

I imagine bearing grease would work well too.

[redqueen]

18. Oh would you please do us all a nice favor

and ask your dad the name of that paint?

I think a few of us will be paying a visit to a local hobby shop soon.

on edit: Your dad rocks. :toast:

[Union Thug]

22. He used to work on the mammoth four color presses...

and I remember the small ink cans of this stuff. I don't know where you would get it now, but i can ask him next time I talk to him.

But again, I think a good coating of bearing grease would serve the same purpose (and is probably pretty cheap at your local auto parts store!)

[trof]

26. I'm thinking "paint-balls".

Would that be considered assualt with a deadly weapon?

[jmowreader]

36. Any printing supply house will have it

It's Van Son Rubber Base Plus. About $6 a pound in black. Some pressmen love it because they can pretend their ink fountain is a McDonald's coffee machine and never clean it; others hate it because the shit never dries even on the work.

More entertaining would be CV joint grease, which is even nastier than rubber-base ink and far easier to find.

[jmowreader]

35. I HATE rubber-based ink!

The shit never dries.

Which, in this instance, would be an advantage.

[Mr_Spock]

42. That's fantastic!! I was gonna say kick the guys ass, but that was immatur

e. Putting something on the thing that is YOUR property to make is less desirable for him to illegally vandalize it is PERFECT!! My mind is racing now - lots of great (and perfectly legal) ideas are popping into my evil little mind - hehe.

[RetroLounge]

17. He's lucky he caught the guy in the act

My Kerry sign was stolen when I was at work, so I have no idea which freeper cheney-head did it...

RL

[chopper]

19. a mean thing to do...

smear some paint stripper on the back of it. friends of mine used to do that to their grills and what-not when people would try to steal them from their garage.

paint stripper, at first, just feels like some grease. then, in a few seconds, your hands feel like they're on fire. then you dash into the house in a mad rush to get the crap off em.

cruel, but if you aren't willing to respect other people's property, you deserve a lot of what you get.

[VOX]

20. He needs to buy "The Scarecrow," a motion-activated lawn sprinkler!!!

http://www.greentouchirrigation.com/scarecrow.html
ScareCrow Sprinklers keep Animals out of the Garden!

The patented Scarecrow Sprinkler is the smartest scarecrow ever invented. When it sees an intruder it instantly releases full hose water pressure towards the trespasser. The effect is both startling and immediate ! it detects animals as small as
rabbits and cats.
<snip>
The combination of the sudden noise, movement, and water frightens animals away. This startling, yet harmless action is a remarkably effective deterrent.

[TrustingDog]

23. get another Kerry sign and...

put it on your neighbours lawn when He is away at work....

and video tape his reaction when he comes home.

[Cleita]

30. If there is a tree next to the curb with branches that

reach over the van, put a bird feeder up there.

:evilgrin:

[frylock]

40. best suggestion yet!!

nice work.

[havocmom]

33. Put the sign up on roof so van can't block it

Since you can't prevent someone from parking on a public street, you can't really make them move so the sign would be visible.

Think I would also call local Dem headquarters and/or local Kerry campaign and inquire if there might be a van, brightly painted with Kerry for President, which they might like to park in front of the trespassing and obnoxious neighbor's house.

[Ezlivin]

37. Put up an electric sign

Ingredients for electric sign:
1) Extension cord;
2) Wire strippers;
3) Electrical tape;
4) Sign.

Remove female plug end, strip wires back to reveal 24 inches of bare wire. Cover back of sign with bare wire, carefully avoiding the contact of the two wires. Secure with electrical tape. Plug in sign.

Sign will not glow or light, but the person who tries to remove it will.

Ashcroft-approved alternate method: Wire a Tazer to the back of the sign. Not lethal, but gets the point across.

Electrons can be your friend!

[TriMetFan]

39. Do what we did when

Clinton ran for his second term. We have a neighbor who is a repuke, so we bought Clinton signs for all our other neighbors. :evilgrin:

[ThomWV]

41. Paint The curb yellow

Have the son of a bitch towed away.

[BTFSTL]

43. What an idiot

If he doesn't support Kerry, that's his business. If he's that angry that he has to tear up your signs on your property, then it's your business.

I'd like to suggest a Todd Bertuzzi-style face plant personally (might actually knock some sense into im), but that may not be all that practical.

What I would do instead is talk to him and find out why he's doing this? If he acts like a jerk, then do what you think needs to be done.

No one should have to put up with rubbish like that, especially from a guy who obviously needs a heart transplant.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

44. My Kerry signs are inside my front windows

because I live in Dallas. 'Nuff said. And it's downright impossible for anyone to block said signs unless they put a shitload of Miracle Gro on my bushes, and even that would take a while!

LOL!

That guy needs to TRY talking to the guy (if for nothing else than to be able to say he did) and TAKE A WITNESS!!!!! Let him know "hey I saw you take my sign down, what'd you do that for?"

Shame him....this is America. If he supports bush tell him to get a damn bush sign, but don't be touching MY shit.

I have a friend who teasingly said he was going to put loads of bush signs in my yard and I can take a joke about ALMOST anything, but I got real serious and said "don't you dare even THINK about putting that murderous lying thieving mother-f*cking son of a bitch's signs in my yard EVER".

For several seconds after that, people kinda swirled their drinks and looked around while we listened to the crickets chirping outside, but I think he got the message.

[mourningdove92]

69. Hmmm, you shouldn't have sugar coated it, moonbeam.,

you should have told him how you really felt.....

:toast: :yourock: :headbang:

[CBHagman]

45. Simply put Kerry-Edwards signs in all the windows.

The caller can also put Kerry-Edwards stickers INSIDE his car, so that freeper types can't tamper with them.

That dog truly is man's/woman's best friend if it's watching out for tampering sorts. Bark on, Friend Dog!

[Autobot77]

47. He should kill his neighbor (jk)

[Autobot77]

48. Do the opposite of what his neighbor did

He should put a large sign on his neighbors yard that says "Pedophiles for Bush", and if he takes it down put up another one.

[Deja Q]

49. Hmm, actions of another animal savage.

How many of us yank up repuke signs? I hate the uncivilized fuckers but I don't stoop to their level.

[TroubleMan]

50. Put a gay personal ad in the paper with the name & number of the neighbor

Make sure it says he's taking all cummers.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

53. RALPH!!!

OMG that made me laugh so hard I almost PUKED my dinner up!!!

[Toucano]

52. Banner on roof!

Or I wonder if the Kerry campaign could get him a Kerry flag to hang from a flag pole?

[Sirveri]

55. get a copy of the anarchist cookbook.

It has all sorts of wonderful ideas for damaging and defacing other people's vehicles and faces. One fun thing to do is to jack up their vehicle in the middle of the night and open up one of their tires and fill it with concrete. Another is to pry open the gas tank and add sugar to it, sand is good too that will tear up the pistons. Another would be to get a bunch of freinds together when he goes out of town and then dig up his frontyard and put all the dirt in front of his front door. Or to build a box that will fit over the front door and fill it with quick drying concrete in front of his front door. Make sure to give it a nice solid base though so he can't just tip it over. If you have a lot of time you can get old newspapers and soak them in orange juice (concentrate is preferred) and then shred the paper and put it into his car after you pop the lock.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

56. But man you'll get such

freaking bad karma from all that!

[Sirveri]

63. I don't believe in Karma.

Probably because I'm not a dirty stinking hippy. I'm a violent hawkish liberal. Want to go to Iraq, fine, at least do it with some skill and finesse and take all the oil, kill all the people, and make it a colony. Oh, instead you're going to be a bunch of inept fools who are only doing the task to the benefit of major corporations. Great. Screw you Bush, dirty traitorous coward.

[Syncronaut Seven]

57. Utility knife blades taped to the back

of the sign, with the edges protruding 1/16 inches above the edge. Hard to see, nasty but effective & the perpetrator can't help but leave DNA evidence. Relatively humane, The most painfull part? Your freeper neighbor having to explain the injuries to his wife.

Fence chargers work too if you conceal the wire well.

[demwing]

58. Easy. Either park your own car there, with Kerry sign in window, or...

put down broken glass or spikes or likewise material in the parking spot.

He will either avoid the spot, or get multiple flats, where upon you call the cops and have the van towed because "Its been just sitting there with flat tires for ever"

Fighting fire with fire...

[Missy Vixen]

59. I have one word, and it's effective

Vaseline.

Coat the sign stick with a thin layer of Vaseline after pounding it into the yard. Vaseline is virtually invisible, and the reflex action will happen after the guy defacing the sign grabs the stick. It's also slick as hell.

I coated my campaign sign sticks with a very thin layer of Vaseline. It worked like a charm.

Julie

[toddaa]

60. Actually, I don't really advise doing this...

as it's just too nasty.

Get a bottle of RoundUp and "write" Kerry-Edwards '04 in his lawn.

[bleedingheart]

61. I had this happen so this is what I did!

I had 2 Gore signs stolen...so I lubed up the wooden pole with so much crisco that it was at least 1/2 inch thick....

I also placed crisco around the edges....

Voila....the jackass took the sign and I found his fingerprints all over it...and he dropped the sign about two house down...

I bet getting that crisco off his/her hands was pretty messy.

[kodi]

64. the next sign you put up should be "trespassers will be shot"

file charges for him trespassing. if the guy is enough of an asshole to come on to your own property and take down political signs, he ought to have his ass whacked by the law.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

65. It's just a JOKE suggestion, folks! Don't be alarmed!

[mellowinman]

67. Sneak into his house...

plant Heroin and PCP by the shitload, and call the Narc squad.

(don't actually DO this, by the way...)

IT'S A JOKE!!!

[Joanne98]

68. Dump roundup in his flower bed.........

Dogshit in his mailbox :)

[nose pin]

70. This is bad behavior, no matter who does it

In 2002, I saw a college-age young man pulling up and defacing the Republican signs of my cross-the-street neighbor, who is a pretty decent guy, and a Korean War vet. I went out and yelled at him, scaring him off. He did a double-take as he slinked away, because I had a Dem sign on my lawn.

This kid was not a neighbor. He was probably going around ripping up Repub signs anywhere he found them, and our neighborhood was pretty close knit, so not the same situation.

I hope I gave this young man something to think about.

I miss that neighborhood. Now I'm living in Canada, where nobody puts signs on their lawn. They are all put up by the parties, on telephone poles and lightposts. The election was weeks ago, and the signs are all still up. And they all have the faces of the politicians on them. It's starting to annoy me.