Things you have to believe if you're a Republican.

[napi21]

Just got this in an email from a friend. Enjoy!


Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:


Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him;

- a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him;

- a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and

- a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.


A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving and military record is none of our business.

What college student Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what college student Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Very good!

and right to the point. Liked the sentence about Jesus best.

[merh]

2. I love this, thank you. I would add (and will when I email to others) ...

Improving Iraq's education system is vital for their democracy. Funding public education in the U.S. doesn't work, school vouchers will.

[GCP]

3. If you're poor it's your own fault

If you don't have health insurance that's too bad, it's also probably your own fault

Life is a zero-sum game, I've got mine, screw everybody else

Welfare recipients are shiftless and lazy, corporations paying no taxes are business as usual

It's everybody's business that Clinton tried mary jane, it's nobody's business if Bush was a coke snorting alcoholic

Whitewater was bad, Harken was a non-story, as was the Rangers deal and the Bin Ladens financing little no-account oil companies run by Bush