Ann "She's a man baby" Coulter's spiked article from USA Today

[Mike Daniels]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1178897/posts


Sorry, I couldn't get to her website directly so I copied the article from the thread on FR. The article's at the top so you won't have to wade too deeply.

And if there's any doubt as to whether USA Today was familiar with Ann's work when they hired her, this article should provide the answer as a rousing "NO". There's nothing in her column that would suggest that she would appeal to the mass market.

I'm convinced that Ann targets a particular sub-market of the RW because there's no way her writing would appeal to anyone who can comprehend subtlety as a literary device.

[underpants]

1. Odd she started it off really nice like

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston,

[LTR]

2. Ewwwwwwwww!

They want picture of her???

:puke:

[Catfight]

3. Ann Coutler, Queen of the ReUGLIcans.

[VolcanoJen]

4. Oh, that is RICH! Thank you, Mike Daniels!

I wonder how soon the cable news outlets will catch onto the well-orchestrated poisoning of the Democratic National Convention by all the right-wingers they've employed as hired guns.

:eyes:

It's so obvious from the news coverage today... they really should have tried coming on a little softer, I think.

I smell BACKFIRE. Big time.

Evidence of The Orchestrated Poisoning, by Ann Coulter:

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazened with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.

<snip>

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that its because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval. Plus, its no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

[Jo March]

6. Oh, and I DO wear a bra, thank you very much

She was probably teased over the lack of cleavage and can't stand anyone who is proud of their chest, large or small.

Beastly woman!

[West Coast Democrat]

14. Poor Ann....comparing herself to gay men....

what a sexually repressed person Ann is.

Why does Ann think the "pretty-girls" are her allies? Do they hang out with Ann so that they can look better by comparison?

[VolcanoJen]

19. Like most liberal women, I'm easy-on-the-eyes...

... and wouldn't be caught dead next to that coat-hanger-skeletal-form. Seriously.

Ann Coulter, Homecoming Queen Runner-Up, and Still Bitter About It. :D

[merh]

23. Ann thinks she is pretty - that is her frame of reference .....

Does that tell you anything about the "pretty women" she hangs out with? :puke:

[Jo March]

5. The woman is mean-spirited

She is the oddest looking person I've ever seen. I'm wondering if she was teased as a child and developed this hatred of all humans.

That would explain her like of repubs, but then again, I'm mean-spirited too!

[lapislzi]

7. self delete

dupe, sorry.

[lapislzi]

8. Why, why, did I succumb to morbid curiosity and read that?

My eyes! I need one of those Home Depot "eye wash" stations.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

I'm usually against calling someone crazy because I think it gives him or her an excuse for unacceptable behavior, but I'll make an exception in her case. What a deranged whacko. She needs to be locked up. I cannot believe any publication with a shred of respectability would pay money for that drivel.

[Warpy]

9. They didn't.

They spiked the article and canned her.

What I want to know is who at USA Today thought she was a journalist. I'll bet another head will roll over this one.

I just wish I'd seen the editor's face when he read his first sample of her style of "reporting."

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

11. They canned her?

I thought they just asked for a rewrite.

[hughee99]

15. I lost what little respect I had for USA today

for hiring her. They knew what they were going to get. She may well have written these articles days ago, and then just filled in a few details. Even worse is to know what you're going to get from her and then spike the story. Surely they weren't suprised by what she wrote? They also hired Michael Moore to do the repuke convention. I hope they don't also spike his stories, just so they can seem "fair".

[jmowreader]

21. You don't need an eyewash station, you need a fire hose

In the annals of hideous articles, that one was way up there.

[colonel odis]

10. that is one bitter young woman. she's pretty pitiful.

and if she considers herself one of those "pretty girls" she refers to, she needs to look in the mirror.

if i had a dog that ugly, i'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.

[UdoKier]

12. PSYCHO MUCH?

USA Today Put The Speakers In A Cage July 26, 2004

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do.
She should know, being best pals with Drudge. Heck she may havve been a gay man once herself...



My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags.

Oh yes, democrats NEVER wear crosses or flags. LOL! How out of touch with reality is this broad?



... Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side....

The thing about "pretty" women being republicans is a recurrring theme with Coulter. Apparently a woman's beauty is directly proportional to the starchiness of her clothes and the thickness of her makeup.



Democrats are constantly suing and slandering police as violent, fascist racists... they'll revert to their natural state of being fascist, racist pigs.

Well, no, we only sue the ones who ARE violent racists. The rest we treat well, while repukes slash their pay and benefits...



A speaker at the ...Convention this year, Al Sharpton, accused white police officers of raping and defacing Tawana Brawley in 1987

Actually no. He chose to represent the girl who made the charges.



lunatic charges that eventually led to a defamation lawsuit against Sharpton and even more eventually, to Sharpton paying a jury award to the defamed plaintiff Steve Pagones.

Sharpton could've shown better judgment back then, but he believes Brawley as did many other. I don't blame him for being fooled. Things like that HAVE happened.



So its a real mystery why cops wouldn't like Democrats.

Lots of cops are democrats.



As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that its because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval.

No, Ann, it's just YOU they won't make a move on. We're not as desparate as the repressed bible-thumpers you hang with.



Plus, its no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars.

How would you know?



My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the DNC.

This is writing?



Apparently, the nuts...are going to be put in cages outside...They're calling this the "protestor's area,"...a better name would be the "truth-free zone".

LOL - a lot of the protesters are right-wingers! So you're half right, mAnn!



...blah blah....boring spew any freeper could've written...blah blah blah

(sigh)



The fact that Carter is now their most respectable speaker tells you where that party is today. Maybe they just want to remind Americans who got us into this Middle East mess in the first place. ...Yeah, let's turn the nation over to these guys.

Umm - Carter brokered a peace accord between Israel and Egypt. He failed with Iran, but how is Bush's fraudulent war Carter's fault?



blah blah...Gore... comparing Republicans to Nazis....digital Brown Shirts...glowing articles about Bush...blah blah...far-left peacenik was Ramsey Clark....Clinton must have done some number on Gore...earth tones...Gore's references to "Brown Shirts".... compliment...blah blah blah....Democrats call Republicans Nazis, the Republicans quote the Democrats calling Republicans Nazis and both are using Nazi imagery. (It's a cycle of violence!)

Actually the GOP ad drew a pretty direct comparison between Gore's shouting and Hilter's. Anyone not knowing the context would've taken it that way - YA LIAR!



..blah blah...That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. ... crucifixes submerged in urine....public school teachers punishing any mention of God... banning Christmas songs...blah blah.

Walking back... I chatted with a normal Bostonian...who must have identified me through our covert system of signals.

Maybe he was just looking for a transvestite "companion" for the evening...



blah blah...used to be an independent...found himself voting mostly Republican. Then he corrected himself and said he votes for the American.

Ha ha. Like you really ever talk to "normal" people Ann.



I want Americans to get a good long look at the French Party and keep the 7-11 challenge in mind.

The French party! What a knee-slapper! I guess that passes for humor in some circles...

Crack kills, Ann. Crack Kills. Time to get the monkey off your back. You'll be able to save up enough for the operation a lot faster that way.

[RUSTY SHACKLEFORD]

13. For the life of me ...

I can't get over that war-dog thinking herself to be in the group with the "pretty girls"!

C'mon! Who's she kiddin'??

[aquart]

16. "The French Party"????

The Republicans have made up an enemy out of thin air. It's the weirdest thing I ever saw.

And to do it with our first and oldest ally, it boggles.

[wildeyed]

17. Is she mental?

Seriously, that wasn't even coherent.

Does she think that SHE is one of the pretty girls???? Oh dear, now someone is going to have to tell her. And the crack about liberal boys not making moves is, well at least in my limited experience, not true. And how would she know anyway? Does she get hit on allot by liberal men? Or by anyone? Icky.

[RebelOne]

26. This person does need some psychiatric help.

I could only get past the first three paragraphs and could not read any further. But I am convinced this (woman?) or whatever creature she is needs some serious mental help.

[VolcanoJen]

18. KICK! Now, THIS is what I call "spin."

:D :D :D

[Pathwalker]

20. Who are the "pretty girls"? The hookers?

<sarcasm off>

[Hobarticus]

22. I almost wish they HADN'T spiked it!

Read it! She's a freakin' LOON! You don't have to be a Democrat to see that!

No wonder even the GOP is backing slowly away from her!

If the public starts to see HER as the face of the GOP, so much the better!

[Rex]

24. Even some of the Freeps say the article sux.

Dayum...those people usually are to brainwashed to dis anyone labeled as an (R).

FWIW, Ann thought she was giving "secret hand signals", poor dumb creature - she just gave 20 male convention goers a free hand job!

[Warren DeMontague]

25. "Democrats are doody-heads!" Film at 11.

Why anyone still pays this shrill nazi for her dumb-ass ad hominem attacks is beyond me. Someone must find this crap genuinely "funny".

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that its because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval.
(Boo Hoo! Hey Ann-- Got an issue? Have a tissue!)

Plus, its no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars.
Yes, it's much more fun to spend $50 at the pump, filling up your giant ford penis substitute with the huge outsized tires, the "bad boy" sticker on the back windshield, and the cheaply printed "these colors don't run" sticker, that is, coincidentally enough, running. Wooohooo! Lets go kill some queers!

My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.


Ahh, yes. There are no sexy women in the Democratic party. Just ask Ashley Judd. The scene Ann describes is just so unlike the shrill, sexless, buttoned-down, uptight, never-had-a-satisfactory-orgasm-in-their-lives women that will doubtless be legion at the Republican Convention. I don't know about you, but nothing says "Sexy" to me like, oh, Phylis Fuckin' Shafly.

I thought this was a great idea until I realized the nut category did not include Sharpton, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy -- all featured speakers at the convention. I'd say the actual policy is only untelegenic nuts get the cages, but little Dennis Kucinich is speaking at the Convention, too. So it must be cages for nuts who have not run for president as serious candidates for the Democratic Party.

Bill Clinton! What a nut! 8 years of top-notch, intelligent running of the country, leaving us with job growth, a surplus, and the dow nosing around 11,000. What a kook! And calling Dennis Kucinch "little"! Hoo-boy, What a hoot! Not like those big, burly, manly men of the GOP... Like Tom "short man complex" DeLay, and Alan "marvin the martian" Keyes, and Gary "Peter Lorre on valium" Bauer. Yes, Ann, you surely have skewered the Democrats' extremist nutbags, who are clearly out of the nation's mainstream... Unlike those voices of sanity and reason in the GOP ...like DeLay, or Keyes, or Bauer.

Looking at the line-up of speakers at the Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.

Oh, yeah, like Dubya is doing any better. Substitute "Halliburton execs" for "11 year olds" and you will have accurately described the state of the nation today.

For 20 years, the Democrats wouldn't let Jimmy Carter within 100 miles of a Convention podium. The fact that Carter is now their most respectable speaker tells you where that party is today. Maybe they just want to remind Americans who got us into this Middle East mess in the first place.

Survey Says... Reagan?

Weve got millions of fanatical Muslims trying to slaughter Americans while shouting Allah Akbar! Yeah, let's turn the nation over to these guys.

Or, better yet, let's fight the religious fundamentalist crazies abroad who hate gays, go apopleptic at the idea of women's rights, and want to put people to death for having sex outside of marriage, by continually turning the nation over to the fundamentalist crazies at home who hate gays, go apopleptic at the idea of women's rights, and want to put people to death for having sex outside of marriage.

With any luck, Gore will uncork his speech comparing Republicans to Nazis. Just a few weeks ago, Gore gave a speech accusing the Bush administration of deploying digital Brown Shirts to intimidate journalists and pressure the media into writing good things about Bush -- in case you were wondering where all those glowing articles about Bush were coming from.

Actually, I was wondering how they manage to paint the (inaccurate) picture of him as a man who can get anywhere near a self-propelled vehicle (like a bicycle) without doing massive damage to himself. Not to mention someone who can turn eating a bag of snacks into a life-threatening extreme sport. And if I had a dollar for every dumb thing Dubya has said that the media hasn't covered, I'd be almost as rich as you have become, peddling your venom and vitriol.

Oh.. and, "Nazis"? Here's a thought experiment. Take any one of Ann Coulter's dumb-ass, hate filled diatribes, and substitute the word "Jew" for "Democrat" or "Liberal".. Who sounds like a fucking Nazi?

Walking back from the convention site I chatted with a normal Bostonian for several blocks -- who must have identified me through our covert system of signals. He was mostly bemused by the Democrats' primetime speakers and told me he used to be an independent, but for the last 20 years found himself voting mostly Republican. Then he corrected himself and said he votes for the American.

Seig Heil, Ann! You are either with us, or you're against us. Maybe the guy took pity on your rail-thin frame and your obviously crazed, "wild-eyed" expression. Maybe he thought you were an unhinged meth addict and was trying to humor you long enough to get away clean. Anyway, your obviously unbiased scientific sampling of one really proves you've got yer finger on the pulse o' Boston.

I'd say I love all these Democrats in Boston so much I want them to go home, but I don't. I want Americans to get a good long look at the French Party and keep the 7-11 challenge in mind.

Oooo! The French! Stop it, you're hurting me! And your 7-11 challenge? Well, if the GOP has it's way, most americans will be working shitty paper hat jobs for big corporations, with crappy hours, no health insurance, and for a minimum wage that couldn't support a family of hamsters. Sounds like a 7-11 gig, to me!

...Bitch.

[wildeyed]

28. Stop, stop, too funny!

I guess she set herself up, but still, very funny.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

27. she and hannity claimed usatoday has a double-standard with moore

which, of course, is bullshit. moore doesn't start his writings with terms like 'spawn of satan' which are obviously the most outlansdish statement possible from an atention-starved hack of a pundit. it still floors me that so many in the 'serious media' deem legitimacy on ann's shock jock writings.
(and remember, it's the left that's full of hate, sez hannity)

moore's pieces from the rnc will be thoughtful and witty and still make a valid point. this is a perfect rebuttal to the nonsensical claim made by the right (and, sadly, some on our side) that moore is some kind of leftist equivalant of coulter