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Here's my observation. The original e-mail is in the wrong order.
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
What with elections coming up, we should all decide.
If you have already thought about your fellow Americans like this;
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Then there is no need to go further, As a Democrat you put forethought into the "situation" and it occurred like this;
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a well dressed man with a huge briefcase comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams your name, raises his arms, and advances. It turns out this man remembers you from the mission several years back and your inspiration and unyielding help and compassion inspired him to change his destructive ways. He starts to tell you about his new career when HIS wife and kids comes running up from behind. What a beautiful, warm and loving famiily he now has. As he hugs you and tells his wife that YOU are the guy he's been talking about all these years tears well up in your eyes. He simply says thank you and shakes your hand. You are now carrying a business card of a local non-profit president. He insists you come by when you have the time and you have mere seconds before his young son grabs your leg and tugs your shirt. There is nothing left to do, you did it all already.
Now for the remainder here's the scenario YOUR actions created;
Question: How do you tell the difference between Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
After years of denigrating others based on race, creed, religion sexual orientation or whatever else you could find to make yourself feel better, your local town has decayed into a cesspool of hate. So you're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Colt .45, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Congratulations! You may be an excellent shot but that wasn't a knife, it was an umbrella. You just killed a man that wanted to sell your family an umbrella so he could buy some hot food for dinner. While he did use obscenities, your hatred and desire for superiority blinded to the man's obvious mental deficiencies. You see, your hero, ronnie raygun, had cut the funding to the mental health facility where he remained safe and healthy for many years back in the mid-80's. He has sinced lived on the streets, on and off meds, in and out of programs and finally settled in as the local "merchant" of this particular street. Just so you know the residents called him "Crazy Ted" or "Harmless Ted" depending on his mood, but he was no threat to anyone. You son will be 9 and your daughter 13 when you get out after serving 5 years for manslaughter, lucky for you Crazy Joe didn't have the advocate you afforded or you could have served 15 - 20.
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of
reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips??"
Unfortunately for the Southern Repub half of those shots came from the attacker since everyone knows a knife ain't gonna cut it in you're town. That and remember since you voted down that "wussy, democrat-gun-grabbin'" legislation, the bad guy has easy access to a Colt 45 too! So the Coroners office sends over 5 body bags, because even though you were an excellent shot, the attacker was too and he was mortally wounded in the shootout, but so were you, your wife and both kids. What a waste.
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